Mark Clodi - About a Woman, a Zombie Chronicles Novel

"Yes honey, it is, that is why Roger the Bastard called, to let us know."

"Oh, thanks then, I guess." Paige said.

"Paige says 'thanks for calling and telling us'. Me? I think we could use the sleep. It is what?" Dora looked at the clock, "Three sixteen! Dammit Roger! Who calls at three sixteen in the morning?"

"It is a fucking emergency! We have to leave!"

"Fine drive by here. But I am not turning on any lights and if you fuck us over I will be pissed. You still shouldn't come over until daylight. I guess I've warned you already, so whatever happens is on your own head. Fuck you and what you think you know Roger. Have a real fun trip in the dark, husband, and remember you don't have to run fast, just faster than Marge. Call me again when you are about a block away, so we are prepared."

"Prepared? Prepared for.."

Dora slammed the phone down. Turning back to Paige she said, "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" She started sobbing and sat on the bed. Paige awkwardly leaned over and put her arms around her."

Mike came out of the bathroom and looked at her in the dim light. "So Roger called, eh?"

"Yeah." Dora and Paige said at the same time.

"Jinx! You owe me a coke!" Dora said reflexively.

"So when will he be here?" Paige asked for the tenth time in as many minutes.

"I don't know, Roger is always unpredictable and usually late. He sounded scared though, like he had to get out. I expect him and Marge to show up any time." this was Dora's stock answer to the same question.

Apparently Paige was irritable when she was woken up early. Dora had to admit to herself that she was not much better. Her plan was to get Roger in and out and not bother with anything else. The two women were in the kitchen, Dora in her robe, Paige in a cover stolen from Mike's bed. Both were sipping coffee, Mike was not with them. Dora had him looking in the garage for the alleged 'gun' that Roger had hidden there. She had gone into the garage with him to unplug the wireless garage door openers, she did not want him pulling up and opening the doors to the garage.

That would be an invitation to the crew of zombies that were still walking about outside the front of her house. The herd had thinned out a little more, they hadn't really gone anywhere, but had spread out evenly along the street. When Dora came into the garage she had Mike help her haul in the ladder, to move up to the bedroom eventually, for now it sat in the kitchen, very much out of place.

Dora's phone rang, both women jumped a little, Paige spilling hot coffee over her fingers. "Fuck!"

"Oh, Paige you always proposition me at the worst times! Maybe later." Dora flipped her phone open after noting it was Roger calling, "Hello Roger. Are you almost here?"

"Close, but I can't get there. I am at the end of our street, there are a bunch of…them in the street. We can't get any closer to the house. Do you want to meet us at the end of the block?"

Dora laughed, "No. I am not leaving the house."

"I want that gun Dora, we need something for protection."

"Well do what we did, steal one from the neighbors! I am not venturing out in the middle of the fucking night to bring you a gun."

"It's almost four."

"So how do you think I am going to get to you? Walk? Through the zombie field?" Dora asked.

"Well, you have to leave anyway, just load up in the suburban and plow through them."

"You in the Volvo or Marge's car?"

"My car." Roger said with disdain, as if the very thought of driving Marge's car was distasteful.

"Don't want to dent it, eh? Well my answer to you is 'no'. Come back tomorrow if you can't make it through now."

"Dora, you are not listening to me. You have to evacuate now, the governor said so. Get in the suburban and plow your way towards us, we are on the corner of Heritage. We will wait for you there."

"Okay, have a good wait." Dora hung up the phone. Turning to Paige she said, "Well I guess he isn't coming after all. Let's bring the ladder up to the bathroom and see if we can get out onto the roof."

"Now?" Paige asked.

"Why not? I am awake, thanks to 'Roger the Bastard'. I suspect he will wait for about twenty minutes and try something stupid. I don't like him right now, but I don't want to see him eaten alive either. If we get up on the roof we might be able to shoot a few zombies, if we have to."

"Fine. God this sucks. The things people do in relationships."

"Why Paige, I think this is the first time you have ever complained to me about relationships! We are getting to be regular ol' girlfriends now, aren't we?"

"Dora, you are so not in my class, I don't even think we could be friends." said Paige, but she smiled as she said it.

"I know, I know, but I can pretend to slum once in a while, right?"

Hefting her end Paige laughed, "Why would you want to?"

"Because of the drama! There is so little on television these days, so I have to get my entertainment somewhere."

They started hauling the ladder upstairs and had no problem until getting it to the doorway to the master bedroom. Then they had to move a stand in the hallway and carefully slide the thing through. Dora was carefully trying not to scrape up the walls or trim and Paige grudgingly went along with her.

"You know we probably won't be able to get any repairs made now, so we should take care of the place as best we can." Dora explained.

"If you say so. So you don't want to evacuate?"

"Not at night. Not right now. That is fucking insane. I don't know what Roger is thinking." Getting the ladder set up in the bathroom was easy once they got the top into the shaft of the sky light. The ladder fit well in the space, after fiddling with it a few minutes the women managed to telescope it up until the rungs were just shy of the sky light.

"Let me open it up.", said Dora, pressing a switch on the wall near the bottom of the shaft. A low humming noise could be heard and up above, lost in the gloom the window started opening.

"How far does it open?" asked Paige.

"You know, I don't know. I've never opened it. I mean this is Kansas City dear, not North Dakota where we can just open a window to cool the place off in the summer. We only used the air conditioning. Should I risk a peek with the flashlight?"

All three of them in the house had been being very careful with their lights, particularly when using them near any windows. They were not entirely sure that the zombies were attracted to light, however it seemed like a good bet.

"Yeah, do it. Wait unit it is open all the way."

"Duh." replied Dora, when the motor stopped the covered the lens of the flashlight with one hand and sent a narrow, soft beam upwards, trying to walk it up one wall before hitting the window. What they saw was good, the window was hinged on the upper slope and opened wide on the side facing the back yard. The wedge shaped opening had to be at least a foot and a half, something any of them could get through.

"We will have to take the screen out, no big loss. Should we go up now?"

"Hold on, I hear something downstairs." Paige said.

Dora listened and heard the garage door shut, both women waited, listening to what they hoped was Mike climbing the stairs. The young man entered the room and saw them peering at him from the bathroom, in his hands he carried a large metal case. "Hey." he called by way of greeting, "I found it. I think. I mean it is heavy enough."

"What is it?"

"Can't tell, it's locked. A good gun case. I was hoping we could find the keys."

"Where was it?"

"Under a built in shelf that had a bunch of old golf clubs, and other stuff, like exercise stuff, on it. I had to take the shelf off to get to it. You never saw this?"

Dora shook her head, "Another one of Roger's secrets I guess."