Brian Hodge - Prototype

Even if that other self proved hopelessly lost.

“He’s destroying himself,” Clay said. “Destroying himself and thinking it’ll cure him. But maybe… maybe he’s right, in a way.”

He said he’d rather go for a walk than sit, so she retrieved her coat and met him outside. They headed for the sidewalk along the street, downtown Indianapolis rising in the distance. A few yards away, heavy traffic ground through old slush as clouds of exhaust fogged past them. Here they strolled, upon the urban moors. New Year’s Eve — she had almost forgotten — and was there not a hint of frivolity in the petroleum air?

A block had gone by before he told her what Timothy Van der Leun had been doing to himself. She thought of Clay’s own bent toward self-mutilation. Likely this now struck him as an inherited tendency, a mad passion buried deep in the genes to which they all might be prone, as vulnerable as the members of some doomed family in the most grotesque Southern Gothic imaginable.

“I don’t imagine seeing him that way left you feeling any too reassured,” she said.

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s the kind of thing I expected all along, and didn’t realize it.” A crooked smile, thrown up in hurried self-defense. “He had his agenda and he was sticking to it. Same self-immolation agenda as mine, isn’t it? Only he’s going at it a little more directly.”

Damn his cynical hide, anyway. It was her last official day on the job and even if it took until midnight she vowed to get beneath it.

“Agenda,” she said, and began to quicken her stride. Her legs were nearly as long as his — let him work to keep up. “So where does this agenda come from?”

“Remember chromosome twelve? I’d say we’re looking like a stronger case for biological determinism all the time. If that’s the way it is, then I’m prepared to accept that.”

“Maybe, but you don’t want to have to, do you? You may never admit it to yourself, but you’re looking for a way to avoid that conclusion, and you’re desperate to find it.” When he said nothing she forged ahead. “You don’t share the same fate as Timothy Van der Leun unless you allow it. I still maintain you’re in control.” A deep breath, let’s try something. “Nobody knows just yet, but for the sake of argument, let’s say that all of chromosome twelve is involved, all three copies. You’ve done some homework. How many chromosomes do you have left?”

“Twenty-two pairs.”

“Forty-four chromosomes to three. Even if you’re given over to biological determinism, you still have to account for a lot of genetic encoding in those other forty-four that doesn’t have a thing to do, directly or indirectly, with chromosome twelve. It should speak as loud, if not louder. So let it have its say.”

Clay grunted, staring at the sidewalk as they glided along. “Are you forgetting what my father and mother were like? I think I’d rather take chromosome twelve.”

She rolled her eyes. He was good. Oh, he was good. “But maybe a lot of what was dominant in their genes turned out to be recessive in yours. And vice versa.”

“And maybe not.”

“But maybe so. A congenital soldier and a passive alcoholic? Neither one sounds very much like you.”

He nodded, working his tongue inside his cheek; backed into a corner at last and he knew it. “Well, we could debate this all day and never really be sure of anything, other than that Helverson’s syndrome isn’t a good thing to have,” he finally said. “Just a few cracked eggs in the genetic omelet. They’ll have us figured out eventually.”

“To a degree. Probably never completely.”

“They’re reading those DNA codes right this minute, you know. They’ll have their map. They’ll know us inside and out.”

The Human Genome Project — such lofty goals propelled it, but it made her nervous as well. In full-bloom, the power of genetic knowledge would eclipse even that of nuclear fusion, yet thus far no one was even regulating it. Historically, great power was often wielded by clumsy hands at best; at worst, savage ones. For their owners understood only the mechanics of what they manipulated, never the grand underlying mysteries.

“And suppose they do have that map someday,” she said. “You can look at a map of the Grand Canyon, but you can never get any true sense of what it’s like until you stand at its rim. You can look at the full orchestral score of Beethoven’s Fifth, laid out right in front of you, every note… but it’s only the bare frame. You can’t hear the music in it.”

“And what do you think might happen,” Clay said, “if you took a page or two from that score, and repeated it at random? It’d wreck the whole symmetry, wouldn’t it?”

“It could. But depending on the skill of the musicians, they might just make it work.”

He weighed this, kicked idly at a chunk of ice to send it skittering ahead of them along the sidewalk. “Well… Beethoven’d probably still be pissed.”

It felt as if they had arrived at a friendly stalemate. She the proponent of self-determination, he the unwilling proselyte still waiting to be convinced. It was an existential dilemma, all right, and she began to wonder if her victory might not come about only in his living of it. That realization on Clay’s part could lie years ahead, and she might never hear of it.

Clay frowned, a little bitter, a little bemused. “You know what the genetics labs are finding, now that they’re starting to really get into the DNA codes? I read this not long ago.”

“What’s that?”

“Down on the level of those three billion base pairs that make up the DNA chains? A lot of it, all it is, is junk. Whole long strings of those pairs… they don’t make up amino acids, they don’t do anything, they’re just there. It’s all junk, it’s static, it’s waste. It means nothing.”

“I didn’t know that.” Leave it to him to have found a wrinkle she’d missed.

“Don’t you see? It’s like life, broken down to the ultimate fractal: a few points of significance, and a lot of filler.” He appeared oddly pleased with this conclusion; not triumphant, more worn down with the weight of it, as he walked with shoulders rounded.

They slowed, forced to stop at a corner by a red light as the traffic shifted, flowing before them in automated currents, like a school of minnows — many fish, one mind. The two of them had gone far enough, it seemed, and turned to retrace their steps.

“It’s the ultimate joke on us,” Clay said. “It has to be. It took so many thousands of years to get to the place where we could finally read it.”

“So who told the joke?”

“Ask that and you’re getting into a whole new area,” he said. “ That’s the riddle.”

They went their separate ways back at the motel, she to her room and Clay to his. He professed need of a shower, a long one, that he had left Timothy Van der Leun’s feeling very unclean. It could take quite some time, she knew. There were residues that could defile a person in places where water could never flow.

Sarah asked how it had gone and Adrienne covered most of the highlights. Briefing Sarah had become second nature by now, had even begun to feel like the proper thing to do.

“Is he okay?” she wondered.

“He’s a survivor.” Adrienne hung up her coat, pried the calf-high boots from her legs. “It’s what he does. For all I know it may even be what he’s programmed for.” Stopping then, “I shouldn’t have said that, listen to me, he’s winning me over to his point of view.”

“Maybe he’s programmed to do that, too.”

“No, I think that’s general human nature,” she said. “You’ve obviously not spent enough time in meat markets listening to the male of the species convince you that his other car really is a Porsche.”