Patrick D'Orazio - Into the Dark

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Jason finally blinked and nodded slightly, but didn’t say a word. Lydia put her hands down and took the nod as an invitation to continue.

“I was just curious what your plans are now.”

“Huh?” He furrowed his brow at her and cocked his head to the side.

“Well, I’m guessing you don’t want to stay with them anymore.” She gestured with her hand, a casual flip as if dismissing George and the others with regal indifference. “So I was wondering if you had considered moving in with me and the children.”

Again, Lydia seemed to be reading Jason’s mind. She was at least doing a good job guessing what he was thinking. Just like Mom used to do.

He shifted on the bed before answering her. “Nah. I was thinking I would ask Ray and Teddy if I could stay in their RV.”

Lydia nodded and tapped her chin. “Hmm, that might not be a bad idea. Except… ”

“Except what?”

Jason leaned forward. He was forgetting his plans to play things cool. Lydia was treating him like an adult, just like Michael. No sign of wanting to reprimand him or tell him how to act. This was just a nice little chat between friends.

“Well, they just moved in with Ben, and he might not be willing to take on another person.”

She paused for a moment, still thinking. She leaned forward in an almost conspiratorial way. “You could ask Frank and Marcus if you could stay with them. I know they have plenty of room. You would be able to hang out with Michael’s two right-hand men and maybe even be put in charge of a few things.”

Jason’s body language told Lydia that she had struck a nerve. He looked uncomfortable as he leaned back against the wall. His arms were no longer crossed, but at his sides, where he picked nervously at the covers on the bed, bunching them up and twisting the material around before letting it go. He repeated the action as he tried to think of what to say. Lydia forced back a grin as she watched the boy squirm. Sorry, kiddo, but this is for your own good.

“I don’t want to be an inconvenience. I would rather… I would just rather ask Teddy and Ray-”

“Oh I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem for Frank or Marcus.” Lydia waved away the feeble protest. “Besides, Ben’s RV has three people in it now, along with all the stuff Ray and Teddy jammed in there.”

Now Lydia did grin, but she made sure it looked friendly.

“And Ben may appear to be a pretty even-tempered guy, but if you get on his bad side, he is definitely a bear to deal with.”

Jason thought about the huge man. The one who looked like he’d starred in one of those ESPN strongman competitions. Ben could probably throw a rope around one of the RVs and drag it behind him, just like the guys in the competitions did. Someone you would definitely want to avoid when he was in a bad mood.

“Okay. But I really don’t want to ask Marcus and Frank either.”

“Why not?”

Jason shifted again. His hands were going mad on the covers, pulling and twisting, twisting and pulling. He had to force himself to stop when his hands got trapped in the material.

“I just… I don’t know. I guess I feel a little uncomfortable around them.”

“Ahh.” Lydia nodded and smiled. Jason was feeling more awkward with the conversation, but Lydia was being nice, so he was still not sure what to do.

“Well, I am pretty sure the teenagers would say no if you asked them. Frank, on the other hand, would probably welcome you aboard. But-” She held her hand up, stopping him from repeating his protests. “We wouldn’t want to put you with someone who made you feel… awkward.”

Jason felt the panicked desire to turn and face the wall again. It would look stupid if he did, and he knew it, so instead he fixed his eyes on Lydia’s legs. He could not look at her face. He jumped when she slapped those very same legs and stood up.

“So what are we going to do?”

He glanced up at her face but was unable to meet her eyes for more than a second or two. He didn’t have an answer for her.

“I mean, you can’t stay here, right? You can’t move in with Michael and Cindy either.”

It was something he had not considered. Even bringing it up seemed odd. Michael and Cindy were like a married couple. Jason knew they weren’t, and even with his growing affection for Michael, he was less than enthusiastic about Cindy. Like everyone else, he was puzzled as to why the two of them were together. She was gross and scary. There was no chance he was going to ask Michael if he could stay with them.

He still didn’t have an answer for Lydia, so he shrugged instead.

“You’re welcome to stay with us.” She said it quietly. She sat back down in her chair and looked across at him. He nodded, defeated.

Lydia clapped and smiled. “Well then it’s settled. I know you’ll like it. The boys will be glad to hear you’re joining us.” She rose up and moved toward the door. She wrapped her hand around the knob and was about to walk out when she looked back at him.

“Well? Aren’t you coming?”

“I don’t want to go out there right now.” Jason glared holes through his books, concentrating hard on them as he studiously avoided Lydia’s gaze.

She turned and moved back into the bedroom. Jason had not felt relaxed since she walked in, but now he was feeling vulnerable as well. There was no more paranoia about her trying to trick him. No more fear about anything she might say. It was just a desire to have her leave without him. He did not want to face anyone outside the RV right now, even though he knew that the men had already left on their expedition.

Lydia plopped down on the bed next to Jason. It was uncomfortable, but at least she still wasn’t trying to touch him. She gave him a little bit of space, but her face was right there in front of him, staring him down.

“So you’re afraid to go out there, huh?”

He looked at her with anger in his eyes.

“I am NOT afraid! I’m just angry at everyone, and I don’t want to see any of them.”

She leaned in, invading his personal space just a little. She moved her hand over his, locking her bony fingers around it before he could react. He was surprised at how strong she was and that he could not wriggle free. She was not only strong, but also smart enough to expect his resistance. She squeezed his hand firmly and yanked on it until he looked up at her. This was not the gentle touch he had feared earlier. This was worse.

“Don’t bullshit me, Jason. Please? I am too damn old to be fooled by a young boy like you. Got it?”

He wanted to yell that he was no boy, but it died on his tongue. As much as he wanted to rebel against the word, he knew it was true that he was still a boy. Looking at her wizened old face made it impossible to argue that he had become a man because of his experiences of the past six weeks, ever since the world had fallen apart. It wasn’t like he was talking to Megan, who was twenty-five or something. Lydia was old .

He stared at her, not sure what to say. When Lydia smiled again, he relaxed slightly, but she did not let go of his hand. Jason wanted to tell her to, but was afraid to complain and even more afraid of trying to break free again. It felt like he was in a vice grip, and he knew he would look stupid if he struggled and lost to this grandmotherly woman.

She tilted her head until she caught his eyes again. The look was gentle, and even though he wanted to look elsewhere, her eyes compelled him to stay glued on her.

“It’s okay to be afraid. All right?”

He kept his mouth shut, but shook his head in denial. It was not okay! He had to be brave. He was afraid to show his face outside of the RV. He was a big chicken.