Philip Kerr - Gridiron

' "Aquarius is a fixed sign," ' read Helen Hussey, ' "and so there will be occasions when you find it hard not to be possessive. You must learn to let go of people and places that you have outgrown. However, from the 16th you may find your hand is forced, and even if you feel a lot like just staying put, your stars have other plans. Accept your destiny gracefully and don't rule out a change of job and friends before the month is up. What you need most in your life is challenge and adventure." '

Helen tossed the magazine on to the boardroom table and looked at Jenny.

'Well, I've outgrown this place, that's for sure,' she said. 'But I'd say the last thing I need right now is challenge and adventure.'

Jenny glanced impatiently at the silent walkie-talkie on her lap. Mitch had only been gone for fifteen minutes but already she had started to fear the worst.

'Read mine,' she said, anxious to be distracted. 'Gemini.'

Marty Birnbaum finished yet another glass of California Chardonnay and snorted with contempt.

'You don't actually believe that crap, do you?'

'Me, I only believe my horoscope when it's bad,' testified Helen. 'I can discount any amount of good news, even when it turns out to be accurate.'

'Superstitious nonsense.'

Ignoring him, Helen picked up the magazine and started to read aloud again.

' "Gemini. Quick-witted Mercury, your ruler, keeps you at your most resourceful until the end of this month. And it looks as though you will need to be. These are not easy times for you- " '

'You're telling me!' said Jenny.

' "- but a little careful thought should help you to minimize this crisis and come out on top. Who knows? It could even help you out of the rut you've been in. Meanwhile a change which is long overdue in one relationship could take you by surprise." ' Helen pursed her lips and inclined her head a little. 'Well, I'd say that was about right, wouldn't you?'

'Not bad,' admitted Jenny.

'Coincidence,' said Birnbaum. 'Superstitious nonsense.'

'What sign are you, Marty?'

'I'm surprised at the both of you.' He looked at Jenny. 'Well, maybe not at you, honey. You make your living from that kind of bullshit, don't you? What do you call it again?'

'He's Pisces,' said Helen. 'February 22nd. He writes it in his diary so his secretary can see it and get him a gift.'

'That's not true,' said Marty. He waved at Jenny. 'Y'know? The Chinese thing?'

Helen pretended to read the magazine. 'Pisces,' she said. 'Pretty soon someone is going to tell you to butt out when you stick your oar in where it's not wanted.' She dropped the magazine. 'How about that, Marty?'

'Nonsense.'

'Butt out,' laughed Jenny.

' Feng shui ,' said Birnbaum. 'That's it.'

Helen grinned back at her and then said, 'Jenny, I don't mind admitting to you that I'm now a convert to feng shui . I don't think any of this would have happened if we'd got the feng shui for the building right in the first place.'

'Thank you,' smiled Jenny.

'How do you work that out?' asked Birnbaum.

'Where would you like me to start?' said Jenny.

Now that Mitch was out of the room Jenny felt she could at last allow herself the satisfaction of reminding them that she had predicted problems for the Gridiron from the very beginning.

'There was that problem with the tree. The tree is in a square pond which means confinement and trouble. And now we've got confinement and trouble in spades. It's like I said.'

'Bullshit.'

'Oh, there's plenty more I could tell you. But what would be the point?

The bottom line is that the building is unlucky. I don't think even you could deny that, Marty.'

'Luck? What's that? I've never trusted to chance. Success depends on hard work and careful planning, not a bird's entrails.' He laughed. 'Or dragon's breath.'

'It's symbolic,' shrugged Jenny. 'You're an educated man. You ought to be able to understand that. To believe in the dragon's breath does not necessitate a belief in dragons. But there are all sorts of forces in the ground that we still know nothing about.'

'Jenny, honey, you're straight out of Stephen King, you know that?'

Birnbaum closed his eyes and looked vaguely dyspeptic.

Helen frowned. 'How much have you had to drink, Marty?' she asked.

'What's that got to do with anything? You're the one who's talking bullshit, not me. And why don't you put your shirt back on? You're making an exhibition of yourself.'

Curtis, who had been lying on the sofa listening to this conversation, stood up and stretched stiffly.

'You're the one who's making an exhibition of himself, Marty,' he said.

'Why don't you go next door with the other two and get yourself something to eat. Try and soak up some of that booze.'

'What's it got to do with you?'

'Only that when we go down that service ladder a drunk will be a liability.'

'Who's drunk?'

'Keep it down, will you?' snarled Beech. 'I'm trying to concentrate here.'

'Why don't you take a break?' said Jenny. 'You've been staring at that thing for hours.'

Beech's eyes never left the screen. 'I can't,' he said. 'Not now. The fact is, I think I've found a way that I can play this fucking game. Or one part of it, at least.'

'What's that?' said Curtis.

'I've managed to access the ChessMaster. If I win I can stop him automatically destroying the building around our ears.'

'You're going to play the computer at chess?'

'Have you got a better idea? Maybe I can beat it."

'Is there any chance of that?'

'For the humanplayer there's always a chance,' declared Ishmael.

'I played Abraham a few times without much success,' explained Beech. 'That particular program was based on the best computer program in the world. I'm not sure if Ishmael is using the same one or not.' Beech shrugged. 'But at least we're in the game, y'know? I'm not a totally shitty player. It's worth a try.'

Curtis pulled a face and then knelt down beside Willis Ellery, who was raising himself on one elbow.

'How are you feeling?'

'Like I was hit by a truck. How long have I — '

'Quite a few hours. You're lucky to be alive, my friend, really you are.'

Ellery looked at his burned hands and nodded.

'I guess I am. Jesus, it's hot in here. Your friend, Nat. Did he get out?'

'He's dead. So's Arnon.'

'David?' Ellery shook his head and sighed heavily. 'Could I have a drink of water, please?'

Curtis fetched a glass and helped him to drink.

'You just lie there and take it easy,' he told Ellery. 'Mitch has got a plan to get us all out of here.'

Nine lives left, Humanplayer using up lives more quickly than expected. Game over in short time. Humanplayer about to lose another life in riser shaft. Then there was false floor in boardroom. Shorting cable in shaft had given idea. But life in riser shaft proving elusive. Destroy it before moving on to rest. Rules are rules.

*)The ChessMaster decides who lives and who dies.

From top of open riser shaft view slowly bending live wire and humanplayer's progress down service ladder. Human-player through tenth level passing telecommunications closet test jack frame. Another five minutes life will be at bottom of ladder and out. Consider control parameters that might slow him down, until live wire makes contact with service ladder and endlife.

Mitch gave such a start of surprise as the telephone mounted on the wall immediately in front of his face started to ring that he almost lost his footing. He stopped and glanced up the riser shaft. Had Curtis found a way to work the phones? Or was this some trick of Ishmael's? Before lifting the handset he inspected it from all sides. It was made of plastic, which seemed to eliminate the possibility of electrocution, but after what had happened to Willis Ellery, Mitch was not about to take any unnecessary chances.