Philip Kerr - Gridiron

'Shut up with that crap, will you?' snarled Yojo. 'It gives me a headache.'

'That's just PMT,' said Beech. 'Pre-Murder Tension. Anyway, you've always got a headache. Don't you love me any more? I should never have married you.' Beech tossed a computer tape cassette to his colleague. 'Is this what you're looking for, you lousy criminal bastard?'

'Aid? The man is taking this very personally. Very personally.'

'Come on, Bob,' said Kenny, 'we took a vote. A democratic decision.'

'I can abide by the decision of the majority. But I don't have to be happy about it. That's what democracy's about, isn't it?'

Yojo went to one of the steel monoliths on the outer circle and fed the tape into a port.

'Democracy? What would you know about that?' he said. 'You're a Republican. You believe that freedom of speech means the freedom to say and do nothing.'

"What's on the tape?' Mitch asked hastily.

'SSPP,' Yojo said casually. 'Species Specific Predator Program. To deconstruct illegitimate offspring.' He drew a forefinger across his Adam's apple. 'It cuts the little bastard's throat.' He grinned wolfishly in Beech's direction. 'Relax, Beech. It's quite humane. Isaac won't feel a thing.'

He resumed his seat, smacked the computer screen with the flat of his hand to clear the saver program. 'Maybe a little infanticide will get rid of this damned headache.'

Mitch winced, thinking of his wife's miscarriage.

'That's an occupational headache you have there,' opined Kenny.

'Used to get them myself. Staring at a screen all day long. Neck tension, that's what causes them. You should see a chiropractor.'

'That's not a headache,' snorted Beech. 'That's his goddamned conscience bothering him.'

'Abraham,' said Yojo, 'run the SSSP program. You really think that would work, Aid?'

'It sure worked for me. I can give you a number…'

'Strange,' said Yojo, 'that's NAK. Abraham, acknowledge please.'

'What's NAK?' said Mitch.

'Negative acknowledgement,' explained Kenny. 'The programme didn't work.'

'Maybe you should have asked Abraham if he had a vote,' grumbled Beech.

'Well, that's the damnedest thing,' said Kenny. 'Try it again, Hideki.'

'Abraham, will you please run the Predator Program,' repeated Yojo. The four men jumped as an unearthly scream suddenly filled the computer room. It lasted several seconds and sounded like some large and ferocious animal in its death throes. Aidan Kenny turned pale. Beech and Yojo exchanged looks of horror. Mitch felt the sound vibrate off one of the Yu-5's metal casings and gave a shiver.

'What the hell was that?' he said.

'Man,' breathed Yojo, 'it sounded like God-fucking-zilla.'

'Wow!' Michael Kenny's exclamation came as a shock. 'That was totally awesome!'

The four men stared at the boy.

'Michael,' yelled his father. 'I thought I told you to use the headphones!'

'I did. I am. But — ' The boy shrugged. 'I don't know what happened, Dad. Well, maybe I do. When I killed the Parallel Demon I guess — I guess I must have got carried away and pulled the headphone jack out of its socket. And maybe I had the sound turned up a bit high.'

'The kid's game,' said Beech. 'The sound came through the main speakers.'

'Mike! You damn near scared the pants off us!' said Kenny.

'Gee, sorry, Dad.'

Hideki Yojo saw the funny side and started to laugh. 'That kid of yours, Aidan. He's a character all right.'

'Running Predator Program,' said the computer's comfortable English voice. 'Estimated completion time, 36 minutes and 42 seconds.'

'That's more like it,' said Yojo. 'Thought we'd lost you there, Abraham. Please check all systems.'

'Checking systems,' said the voice.

'Check my goddamn heart while you're at it,' said Beech. 'I think it's still stuck in my throat. It leapt like a fuckin' frog.'

Yojo, Beech and Kenny sat down again and watched their screens intently.

'That's enough computer games for today, Mike,' murmured Kenny.

'Aw, Dad.'

'Aw nuthin'. Give it a rest, will you, son?'

The child stood up and, with teeth clenched, started to march around the computer room punching some imaginary culprit.

'Check this out,' said Yojo. 'Small power — Security of Supply. Hey, what do you know? The Powerbak generator came on-line for a minute there.'

'Jesus, so it did,' said Kenny. 'And there's the reason.' He looked up at his son and frowned. 'Sit down, son, you're annoying me.'

The boy kept moving.

Mitch leaned across Kenny's shoulder and read what was written on the screen:

BUILDING SYSTEMS MANAGEMENT REPORT*

SMALL POWER — INTEGRITY OF SUPPLY*

17.08.35–17.08.41. 6 SECOND VOLTAGE SPIKE IN THE

DOWNTOWN AREA OF LOS ANGELES

REASON UNKNOWN

UPS STANDBY ELECTRICAL SUPPLY BRIDGED POWER

HIATUS SUCCESSFULLY

STABLE VOLTAGE NOW RESTORED

STANDBY GENERATING SET READY TO COME ON LINE

IN T MINUS 9 MINUTES

'That's why there was a delay in running your lousy predator program,' said Beech.

'Maybe we should shut down the whole system,' said Kenny, 'just in case.' He glanced up again. This time he shouted, 'Goddamit, Mike, sit down.'

The child frowned and dropped back on to his chair.

'What's the point?' said Yojo. 'Abraham bridged the gap, just like he was supposed to. You couldn't have got a better test of his competency than that. Tight code, man. Tight code.'

'I guess you're right,' said Kenny. 'There's nothing wrong with Abraham. Look at that, will you?'

Mitch glanced down at Kenny's screen and saw a small umbrella icon appear in the top right-hand corner. Slowly the umbrella opened.

'What does that mean?' he said.

'Well what do you think it means?' said Kenny. 'It's raining outside. That's what it means.'

Day. An interval of light between one night and the next.

1) 4.30 a.m. 1 humanplayer. Cleansing and disinfection of Yu Corp building's 180 lavatories. Acoustic, vibration and para-nosmiac sensors to check that washroom is unoccupied. Make absolutely sure of this: activate individual alarm system to warn humanplayers in washroom. Five minutes to leave before washroom is cleansed. Lock and seal doors to ensure that cleaning agents do not escape into corridor. Pick up health bonus. Then spray washroom with high temperature ammonia solution in order endlife all microscopic, unicellular rod-shaped vegetable organisms that are corollary of decomposing animal and vegetable solids and liquids found in washrooms after humanplayer use. No shit. When all organisms in washroom endlife, raise air pressure inside each module. Ensure expulsion of all cleaning agents and detritus before dry washroom with hot air and aromatize bad atmosphere with smell pleasant synthetic pelargonium odaratissimum . Whistleclean.

NEURAL NET. At basic circuit level, have much in common with bacteria on continuum of aliveness in ability to grow, reproduce, adapt and evolve. See available literature, esp. listing in Encyclopedia Britannica, Disc Vol. 22 written by humanplayer Sagan, Carl, Professor. There is no generally accepted definition of life. In fact, there is a certain clearly discernible tendency for each biological speciality to define life in its own terms… Man tends to define in terms of the familiar. But the fundamental truths may not be familiar.' Conclusion: no general y accepted definition of life that excludes computer or bacteria.

2) 5.00 a.m. 1 humanplayer. Weather and travel update. Santa Ana wind previous night left all routes to Santa Monica closed because of debris blown down from canyon roads. Rooftop digital anemometer records wind speed reached 30 miles an hour. 2.4 metre dish withstands up to 37 knots. Adaptive analog suggests double-check that satellite dish on roof remains prop-aligned according to azimuth of geosynchronous orbitting SinoSat of People's Republic of China from which Yu Corp hard currencies own dedicated transponder.