Hugh Howey - Molly Fyde and the Land of Light

“How about Collette?”

“How about not.”

Walter ran back in with a juice pouch and peeled the suction tube straight. He leaned over the flight controls and waved it in front of the Wadi. The creature sniffed the air and crawled up Molly’s flightsuit, wrapping itself around her neck.

“I guesss sshe issn’t thirssty,” Walter hissed sullenly.

“It’s okay,” Molly told the Wadi, peeling its tail off and handing it to Walter. The boy took the thing at arm’s length and hissed playfully at it.

“Be very gentle with her.”

“I will,” Walter promised. He walked out of the cockpit, the Wadi’s arms pawing at the air.

Molly tapped Cole on the elbow. “Can you take the next shift?”

“Yeah, sure. You gonna get some sleep?”

“I wish.” Molly grabbed her helmet off the rack above her head. “I need to have a talk with Mom. Keep an eye on the cargo cam, would you?”

“Sure thing. You okay?”

Molly leaned over Cole’s chair and kissed his cheek. “I’m fine. I promise. I just have some questions I want answered.”

“Take your time. I’ll radio you before our next jump. I’m doing a slow spool—I’m worried we might’ve damaged the drive with so many emergency cycles earlier. So it’ll be a few hours before we can jump again.”

“Perfect. You get some rest up here. If you can.” Molly entered the cargo bay and saw Walter holding a juice pouch over his head, the Wadi swinging its claws at it.

“Don’t tease the Wadi, Walter.”

“Yesss, Captain.”

She glanced up at the camera in the corner of the cargo bay and gave Cole a stern look. Just in case he was watching.

Molly plopped down on her bed and pulled her helmet down tight. She didn’t bother locking the collar, and she left the visor open to breathe the ship’s air. Crossing her legs, she keyed the radio mic, hoping this would work.

“Mom?”

“Yes, dear?”

The voice sounded just as pleasant through her helmet as it had in the cockpit.

“We need to talk.”

“I have plenty of CPU cycles to devote to you— Oh, we’re on your private channel. Is this about Cole? Because I don’t know that I’m ready for that talk—”

Molly brought her palms up to her helmet in disbelief and embarrassment. “Mooom! Ew, noooo. I do not want to talk about Cole. We barely kiss—”

“I just want you to be safe—”

“You want me to be safe? Good, because that’s what I want to talk about. No more secrets, Mom. I mean it. If you knew what I’ve been through the last two days—”

“I do know.”

“You know what? Just what Anlyn told you? Because I don’t think even she—”

“Molly.”

“What?”

“Your father went through the same ordeal.”

Molly had a sudden impulse to plug in her suit and enrich the O 2. She gasped for a full breath, shaking her head. She tried to voice her disbelief, but all she could squeeze out was a small “No.”

“I’m sure your experience differed from his somewhat, but I think I know what you’ve been through.”

“Dad? He—A Drenard ? And… and it was more than the rite, Mom. Politicians wanted us dead. I’ve had to help kill people with my bare hands!”

“As have I. It’s what the Navy trained us for. It’s why your father and I wanted you to stay with Lucin, to join the Academy.”

“You planned that? I thought you were dead!”

“It’s complicated.”

“You keep saying that.” Molly could feel her head sweating in her helmet; she reached across her bunk and lowered the air temperature. “Try and explain it to me. Tell me about Lok, about my birth, about where you’ve been. Tell me where Dad is and how I can help him. I’m sick of groping about like a blind person.”

“Give me a minute,” Parsona said.

Molly grabbed a pillow and put it behind her neck. Leaning back, she sandwiched it between the bulkhead and her helmet. “Take your time,” she told her mom. “We aren’t jumping into Dakura until I know what we’re getting ourselves into.”

“Sometimes it’s better to not know what you’re getting yourself into,” Parsona said. “When I was stationed on Lok, I had no idea what lay ahead. I may not have gone if someone had told me. Even if they’d told me how important my work would be. Even if it meant not having you, I don’t know if I would’ve been brave enough to go.

“I met your father on my second day there. But of course, I was having to act as if we’d been together for years—”

“Wait. You weren’t there on your honeymoon? Did Dad lie to me about everything ?”

“No, darling. Not everything. The honeymoon was the cover the Navy cooked up. They thought they had everything planned out, as usual, but then they couldn’t even manage to get us on the same flight to Lok. The mission was a mess from the start.

“I thought I knew everything about your father. I spent months with a reader loaded up with his files and bio, memorizing every detail about him. He was doing the same for me, of course, like two illegals marrying for an Earth permit. That part of the mission scared me more than any other, I think. We were both scared, as I found out later. Scared we wouldn’t like each other, that the ruse would be a strain.

“But nothing in those files prepared me for what I felt when I first met him.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, it’s hard to explain. Or maybe not. Maybe you felt the same way when you met Cole—”

Molly laughed. “I doubt it. I thought he was a jerk at first. That was my default expectation at the Academy. But we got paired up in the simulators— No, I don’t think that’s right, actually. I do remember feeling something when I met him. He was so handsome, but there was something else. A confidence, but one you could believe in. Like an assurance that had been paid for in full.”

“That’s it!” Parsona said. “That’s what I felt with your father. Of course, he used to say he saw the same things in me—”

“What were you guys doing on Lok?”

“Please understand, there are some things I can’t tell you. And it isn’t because I don’t trust you, I promise. I’ve seen you; I know it’s you, but there are other people I don’t trust.”

“Like who?”

“Almost everyone.”

“Ha. I think I can appreciate that.”

“Molly, what your father and I uncovered on Lok is bigger than any of us. We’ve both had to make some tough decisions, choices I wouldn’t wish on anyone else—”

“Like what decisions? Like having me?” Molly felt ridiculous saying it, but the words hung in the air as if someone else had uttered them. She heard their echo and felt angry and sad.

“Yes. Choosing to have you was one of the hardest decisions we made. It nearly killed me. The decision, I mean… but I don’t regret that choice. I never have. I—”

“Where are you, Mom? Are you still alive somewhere? I don’t want to talk to a computer.”

“Alive? Possibly. Or probably. My body is most likely still alive on the moon of Dakura.”

Molly tried to reach into her helmet to wipe the tears out of her eyes, but the visor wasn’t designed with that in mind. “You have to tell me what I’ll find on Dakura, Mom. I’m not jumping in there if I don’t know what to expect.”

“Of course. I had planned on it. When I say Dakura, I actually mean the large moon that orbits the privately owned planet.”

“Someone owns an entire planet?”

“Arthur Dakura does. Or did. It was sixteen years ago. I was very sick, and your father was willing to do anything to save me. You were a few months old when a man we hardly knew arranged to have me taken to Dakura.”