Jacqueline Druga - Protocol One

I wondered if something actually was pending, or if it could be a combination of both of our thoughts. Unfortunately, unless Meagan or the others stated, ‘Lenny was up to something’ or ‘he went off to be a good guy’, we wouldn’t know until it actually happened.

I was wagering on Tony be more right than me. After the little I heard, the fire hall wasn’t such a good place.

I actually started to feel kind of bad for arguing with him.

Craig told me that I needed to lay off the brandy and if I absolutely felt the need for a drink, to consume something that would have some medicinal value. So I drank wine.

Everyone that wasn’t on a post had turned in. Tony was heading to his room early. He said he had work, and made it a point to tell me, “Along with spending some quality time with my daughter.”

He wasn’t the same. He wasn’t letting it go that I argued with him.

Typically Tony hung out with me after he got Joie to sleep. He made no mention of it, so not being tired and not wanting to be in my room, I played cards with Craig while allowing Skyler to look through the tablet and at Jackson’s pictures.

“So what do you think?” I asked, laying down my card.

Craig shrugged. “Not to disagree with your feelings, but the man took my morphine. That was the key that he was doing something wrong.”

“You don’t think he was taking it for someone injured?”

Skyler laughed.

I quickly turned to him. “What picture made you laugh?”

“Oh, no not a picture,” Skyler said. “At what you said. I was talking to one of the fire hall people. Bill. He said Lenny was a nasty man and was glad he was gone. He even said he thinks he’s up to no good.”

“A lot of them said that,” Craig added, then laid down and lifted a card. “We didn’t ask for that information, they volunteered it. Which…makes me even more suspicious. I bet half of them are in on it.” He played his hand.

“So, I’m not justified at all in my thinking?”

“That is what makes a good leader,” Craig said.”You asking me that. And you feel the way you feel. You may have come down on Tony a little hard. Picking on him.”

“I didn’t pick on him and Abe and Peter have big mouths.”

“This bunker may be big, but the community is small. Too small for tension. Besides, they didn’t say you were picking on him. Tony told me,” Craig said. “Venting.”

“He’s really mad at me. He never avoids me,” I said.

Skyler asked. “How long have you known Tony?”

“Almost two months,” I replied. “Why?”

“Just…” Skyler slid the tablet my way. “This picture.”

I leaned over and looked. I remembered the day that picture was taken. It was one of those self portraits that teenagers always took.

My mind went back to that day.

“Don’t post that on line,” Tony said. “I have another name for when I’m online.”

“What is it?” Jackson asked.

“Jim Gordon.”

“Jim Gordon? Like Commissioner Gordon from Batman?”

“Yep.”

“And no one ever called you out?”

“Nope.” Tony picked up the game controller.

“Are you two gonna play this game all night?” I asked.

Unless…” Tony looked at me. “You have something more interesting and… stimulating for me to do all night, then yes, I’m playing a game.”

“Uh!” Jackson grunted. “That’s my mom.”

Tony laughed.

I let them be.

I found myself staring at that picture until Craig called for my attention.

“You all right?” He asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” I returned to our card game, but my focus was also divided on making things right with Tony.

Like Craig told me, the bunker was big but we as a community were too small for the tension, and I was going to make it right.

It was over an hour later, that I made my way to my room. Ben was walking the hall when I passed him. He wished me a good night.

Tony had us covered and protected in case something did happen. I really did some soul searching on it. Was my gut really telling me nothing was going to happen? Or was I hoping so much that it wouldn’t, it clouded my judgment?

Either way, I realized I had made a bad choice. It was better to err on the side of caution.

It was time to make peace, and I knew how. It was something I had been intending to do for a while.

I felt like a stalker when I entered my room. I placed my ear against the adjacent door in my room, listening to see if I could hear him. I even bent down to see if I saw a light. I did. But that didn’t mean anything.

So, I knocked lightly on the adjacent door. If he replied, he was up.

Tony called out softly, “Come in.”

I opened the door, staying against it. Tony was on top of his bed fully dressed. Joie was under the covers sound asleep next to him. Sheets of paper were spread out around him and on her.

“Hey, what’s up?” he said. “I’m working. Did you need something?”

“I see that. And I see your daughter is your desk.”

He grunted “I’m, sorry, is that a bad father thing to do?”

I ignored his smart comment. “Can you spare a minute? Come over? I need to talk to you.”

“That would involve me leaving my child while I walk in the next room.”

“Tony.” I whined his name. “Stop. Please.” I pointed to my room.

Tony set down his work, swung his legs over the bed and stood. He walked to the door, and as he passed me said, “My daughter is still traumatized over you fighting with me.”

“And I’m traumatized over her recent fashion designer pictures.”

“What?” He chuckled out the word.

“Never mind. Did you want a drink?”

“That would make me a bad father.”

“Stop it,” I said. “Please. And can we stop this… please? You and me. This isn’t us.”

“I’m traumatized and injured emotionally, so I don’t know how well I am right now.”

“Tony…”

“I felt like I couldn’t do anything right…”

“Are you being serious? Because I feel really bad.”

“Not completely.”

“For however you feel, I am sorry.” I stepped to him. “I am really, really sorry.”

He started at me for a second. “I’ll take that drink.”

I lifted a finger and walked over to my dresser and poured him a glass of wine. “So you forgive me?”

Tony pulled out a chair and sat and the small table. “Anna, you’re going through a lot. You really are. I understand it. You’re healing. It’s okay. It’s still really early.”

“It’s no excuse and it’s not okay to treat you like that.” I handed him the wine and sat across from him. “Forgiven?”

“Are you admitting you picked on me?”

“Oh my God, Tony I didn’t pick on you.”

He bit his bottom lip and smiled. “I’m not mad, I was just being cautious with you because I don’t want us to fight, Anna. Even a little. A spark of disagreement, yeah, that’s fine. But today. You had a crazy day. Crazy days happen.”

“It was crazy.”

“And you really never acknowledged what happened with Gil.”

“I did.”

“No.” He shook his head. “I feel bad. I feel really bad. He and I communicated all the time. He was a good guy. He didn’t deserve not to make it to the shelter.”

I rolled the glass of wine between my hands. “Will it be odd for me to say I am jealous?”

“I won’t even ask for an explanation. I know why you’re jealous. Gil got to be with Jackson first.”

“Yep. Did you feel the same way when your son’s mother died?”