Jacqueline Druga - Protocol One

“And I will, Anna, I will. It won’t be by gathering them all in a room, but I will. I am.”

“Why you?”

Tony seemed taken aback by my question. “Excuse me?”

“Why are you the one doing this all? You aren’t the GSS anymore Tony, this doesn’t need to be attacked like it’s a GSS case.”

“Really, Anna?”

“Really.”

In that silent tense moment, someone cleared their throat and another person let out a soft whistle.

Tony stared at me. In the nearly two months that I had known him, I had never seen his angry face directed toward me. I did at that moment.

He stared and then lifted his hand. “Will you guys excise us for a minute please?”

Abe jumped up. “Absolutely. I need some water.”

“Me too,” Tom stood.

“I’ll stay” Peter added. “Someone needs to watch the monitors.”

“Tony can do that.” Tom grabbed Peter and yanked him up. “Uh, Tony, keep an eye… on that.”

Tony didn’t reply. His eyes were locked on me.

“Uh, yeah.” Tom nervously said and slipped out.

Once alone, I stood leaning on the counter with my arms crossed. “I sense a fight.”

“You think?” Tony reached back and slammed the door.

I waited.

“We don’t bicker, Anna,” Tony said. “Why are we starting now?”

“I’m not bickering with you.”

“Then you’re being argumentative.”

“I’m playing devil’s advocate.”

“If that’s what you think, you are walking a fine line.”

“I do see your point.”

“Do you?’

“Yes.” I nodded.

“I don’t think you do.”

“Now who’s being argumentative?” I said.

“You want me to believe that this man, Lenny, took food, morphine, lights, sneaked things out, waited in the dark and then left to go back to the fire hall and help out the people there, so they can all snuggle in during the minus thirty degree weather. And of course, let’s not forget he took the map which you know gives the layout of our bunker.”

“It’s possible. I just want you to consider the possibility that’s all. You don’t seem to want to consider that.”

“I did and I am. But the other possibility deserves our attention.”

“You have given the negative much more attention,” I argued.

“You have only looked for the positive.”

“So we’re even. Stalemate. What now?”

“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared for the bad. It does, however, hurt to be prepared for the good and dismiss the possibility of bad. Where is all of this coming from?”

“I don’t believe this attack that you are waiting for is going to happen. I think you’re over reacting.”

Tony gasped. “Over reacting? Just because you don’t think something bad will happen, doesn’t mean it won’t. I swore up and down the comet wasn’t going to hit and here we are. Stop for a second and think about this. We have six men, and three women. One is ill, two are older. If Lenny returns, even with one person and the adults from the fire hall all grabbed a butter knife, we are outnumbered. They don’t need a gun to kill us while we sleep.”

“You don’t know that.”

“And neither do you!” Tony yelled. “Where is this passive attitude coming from? I am working day and night on this.”

“Yes, you are. And what about Joie?”

“What about her?” Tony asked with edge.

“You brought her to this bunker. Don’t you think she’s scared enough? And she’s not seeing you.”

“Oh my God, are you questioning me as a father? Now you’re getting personal.”

“I’m sorry, that was what got me thinking.”

“My working and leaving my child with someone to watch made you suddenly think of playing the Positive Penny game. As if I stop leaving her, suddenly we won’t be in danger. I am doing this because I did this for a living and I am good at what I do.”

“Did. This not the GSS.”

He stepped back with such dramatics. “When you say that it’s insulting. And you’re picking on me.”

“I’m picking on you?”

“Yes, you are picking on me totally. Fighting over everything I do. Calling me a bad father.”

“I did not.”

“Giving me excuses… that’s it, isn’t it? You don’t want me handling it. Is that it? Want me to step back? I can step back, Anna. How about I turn it over to your buddy, Pete?”

“Guys,” A voice called from the other side of the door. “I’d appreciate you leaving me out of this.”

Tony’s jaw dropped and he spun to the door yelling. “Quit eavesdropping! Go away.” he turned back around to face me. “Unbelievable!”

That was it. That was what the moment needed. Peter on the other side of the door making a comment. At least for me, the tension was broken. I tightened my arms and lowered my head.

“What?” Tony asked.

And then, for the first time in weeks, I laughed. I genuinely laughed.

“Oh my God, you’ve lost it.”

“No. I didn’t.” I smiled. “I’m sorry. That just made me laugh.”

“Anna…”

“Tony.” I stood straight. “You’re right. We don’t bicker or argue. I don’t want this to be a habit. I just want you to see the other side as well. This scares me. The possibility scares me.”

“I know. And I know that’s where this fighting is coming from. And I do, Anna. I see the other side. I don’t think you realize it. I am preparing for the worst, because there’s no reason to prepare for the best. Make sense? You said you trusted me. Please trust me on this one. I know people. Characteristics make them predictable. It’s almost as if you know when you open a door…” Before I knew it, Tony had swung open the door, exposing Tom, Abe and Peter standing in shock. Peter was actually slightly bent over sipping from a drink box. “That.” Tony said. “Will be waiting for you.”

The three men looked busted. No excuses.

Tom walked in the room. “We just knew it was time to come back. Great timing, huh?”

Shaking my head I walked by them and to the door.

“Wait,” Tony called out. “We’re not done.”

“I have things to do, you don’t need me to lay out your surveillance schedules and beat walking stuff.”

“Are we done fighting?” Tony asked.

Peter answered nonchalantly. “I don’t think so… if you ask me.”

“I didn’t ask you,” Tony said.

I shook my head. “Not fighting, Tony. Just in a stale mate.”

I left the office. While I really wasn’t angry or agitated any more, I still wasn’t convinced that Tony saw my side or even considered the possibility that nothing was going to happen.

Then again, I had to consider the fact that I was being absolutely ridiculous because really, what harm would come from being prepared?

Sometimes all it takes is to step away. The moment I stepped away from the meeting, I started plotting my own course of action. If Tony was preparing for an attack, I was going to find out if he was justified. He hadn’t, to the best of my knowledge, talked to any of the fire hall people.

I thought about gathering them up and just having a group talk with them.

While he had a point in what he said about Lenny, he also seemed to want to watch the newcomers, as if they were all part of the plot.

From the depth of my being, I truly believed people were good. That the bad were outnumbered, no matter what the circumstances of the world. That may have been wishful or naïve thinking.

But, even if just for myself, I needed to know.

I had missed breakfast and although I usually didn’t eat much in the morning, I was hungry. I walked over to Hive Two, figuring I’d grab something to eat and then find Nelly. She was working with the kids on the lower floor of Hive Two and for some reason she seemed like a good person to ask for advice. I wanted her take. Age really does bring wisdom and she was smart.