M. Marshall - The End Is Nigh

We got back into the car and set off in the direction that we thought was most likely to take us to a motorway. Life without GPS was not much fun. With that thought, I remembered that my phone had also been in the bag left in the Bunker.

“Liam! My phone was in the bunker. I left it.”

“Hey don’t sound so upset love. Who would you be calling with it? No networks are running. Haven’t been for months.”

“The only person I’ve got is Kate.”

“And we’re on our way to her now. Don’t worry.” He touched the side of my chin affectionately and winked.

Even a nuclear bomb wouldn’t have been able to get her out of the Lake District. In fact, she was probably sat on her cosy living room sofa in front of a log fire right this minute. The idea that we would soon be sitting next to her warmed me from the inside out.

The feeling didn’t last long. Liam swore under his breath.

“What is it?” I watched him shaking his head at the dashboard and leaned over to take a look at what it was making him react in such a way. The petrol gauge.

“I’m not sure this is going to get us to Cumbria. It’s only got just over half a tank, and we’re still at least 3 hours drive away from your sisters.”

“Bollocks. What do we do? Will the fuel pumps work?”

“Not without electricity they won’t. We might have to syphon it. I guess that most of the cars on the roads are empty because of this very reason. We were lucky to find one with enough fuel the first time.” I tried to think about where we would have better luck.

“Let’s not worry about it yet. Wait until the fuel light comes on.” He rolled his eyes and blew out his frustration in a snigger.

“Typical woman, you, aren’t you?”

“Excuse me?” He didn’t repeat it.

Rosa squirmed in the back seat. We’d laid her out flat and belted her in as best we could. We hadn’t seen anyone else driving on the roads since we’d left the Bunker, so I didn’t mind too much about her not being in a car seat.

For the next two hours, I focused on Rosa. Her temperature had risen again, but the paracetamol was no longer having any effect. We’d had to pull over twice for her to be physically sick, each time she retched so much that she could barely catch her breath.

To my dismay the bottle I had fed her that morning and the one she had half finished after her bath had both come back up. She became weak and floppy. I ended up with her lying across my lap and supported her head. I sang to her and stroked her hair, but there was no respite from her restlessness.

It tore me up; I didn’t know what I should do. We were getting so close to Kate now but perhaps our time would have been better spent going back to find a doctor. Or to the Bunker to string up Lynda and find out what they had done to my baby. I would kill her without hesitation if I ever saw her again. I tried to keep my breath steady for Rosa so that she could take her comfort from my stillness but tears were beginning to roll down my face. She had been ill before. A sickness bug, all kids got them, and they’re awful, but this was something else. I knew that she was fighting whatever it was that attacked her body which was what made her so lethargic.

When she started to shake violently, I shouted at Liam to pull over. Never in all my life had I felt so utterly useless. I tried to cover her body in blankets and keep her warm, but it didn’t help. All I could do was try to soothe her with my voice and hold her. She wasn’t communicating with me anymore, her eyes were rolling back into her head, and she became unresponsive. I took her pulse and realising how weak it was I readied myself to start CPR.

“How far away are we from your sisters?” Liam asked.

“I’m not sure maybe 40 minutes, an hour? I think we are right on the edge of the national park boundary.” I tried to concentrate. What could I give her to get her to Kate’s? She would know any local hospitals or a doctor that was still practising. If it were happening anywhere, it would be up there, surely. That place was crawling with rich doctors.

I gathered Rosa up in my arms and handed her into Liam’s.

“Hold her and check her pulse if it gets any slower shout me.” I ran round to the boot and pulled out the medical box I had taken from the nursery cupboard. I rifled through it, desperately searching for something, anything that would save my little girl’s life out here. Then I saw it on the floor of the car; it had fallen out of my pocket. The Jnr. Epi-pen. I had no idea if it would help her or not I assumed the Jnr meant that it was designed for children it was in a pre-school after all.

“Elizabeth!” Shit. “She isn’t breathing.” Shit. “What should I do?” In a split second, he was beside me, holding my daughter who lay across his arms like a tiny lifeless doll. You inject it into the thigh for adults; it might be the bum for kids?

“Lie her face down in the boot.” He did it, I pulled down her little leggings and shoved the Epi-pen needle into the fleshy cheek of her bottom. “Please, Please, Please!” I begged whichever higher being that would listen to let my baby live. I flipped her over and waited to hear her breathe and psyched myself up to begin CPR on her tiny chest. Until a sharp intake of breath and then an almighty scream escaped from Rosa’s mouth. I grabbed her and rolled her into the recovery position.

I had no idea what I was doing. Tears streaming down my face blurred my vision. I spoke to Rosa trying to get her to focus on my voice, but her eyes darted all over the place. She shivered from the rush of adrenaline surging through her.

Too late I realised, that even a junior dose from an Epi-Pen was probably far too large for her small body. It had done what I needed it to, and frankly, that was all I cared about.

“We need to get her to a hospital. If you see a sign for a medical centre or something on the way to Kate’s, then we need to go there.”

“We’re in the middle of nowhere Elizabeth. We won’t find one. Your sister’s our best bet now but you’ll have to guide me. I’ve never been here before.” I picked up Rosa and lay her down across the backseat and then ran around to the driver’s side slamming the boot shut as I went.

“Shadow. In. Liam. In with Rosa.” They both did as they were directed and I drove. I remembered the route to Kate’s as soon as we were at the right junction and things started to become familiar. I knew where I was. Thankfully it hadn’t changed. Nothing seemed to change drastically here. The beautiful scenery and rolling hills were in stark contrast to the flurry of dark thoughts taking over my head.

“How much time will that thing buy us?” I didn’t dare to answer; I didn’t even look at him. The truth was I didn’t know.

I FELT SICK with fear as we turned up yet another country lane, leading away from the towns and further into Lakeland. Deep down I knew Liam was right. We were only getting further away from the medical centres. With each turn into the drystone walled lanes we risked Rosa’s life, but I had no way of knowing where else to take her. I only knew where Kate lived and how to get there. I knew very little about the local area. We didn’t tend to venture into the towns when I visited. Kate actively avoided them, instead insisting that she preferred the tranquillity of living off the beaten track.

Out of nowhere with a stutter and a lurch, the SUV spluttered and then finally ground to a halt in the middle of the road.

“Fuck!” I slammed the heels of my hands into the steering wheel. I looked across at Liam. He was struggling to think of something to say that would make me feel better and I knew it. There was nothing he could say to make this less of a disaster than it already was. I didn’t have time to be comforted. I didn’t need it. This wasn’t about me. We needed to keep moving.