M. Marshall - The End Is Nigh

My mind raced. I was breathing so hard I am surprised he hadn’t already heard me standing on the other side of the wall in the dark. As I waited for him to leave the bedroom I felt paralysed, I had no plan. Although I felt much stronger than a month ago, I had no illusions that I was a match for this guy, and I was right in his path. Waking me from my panic he appeared again on the landing and moved across to the opposite room, I seized my chance and swift as a cat stepped into the doorway of the room he had just exited.

Once inside I looked around for something heavy I could use to knock him out; there wasn’t much which suited my requirements, and in the end I picked up the door stop by my feet. Holding it above my head poised to strike, he moved past the doorway and headed past me towards the staircase. It had to be now.

I jumped out behind him and with both hands brought down the door stop as hard as I could onto the back of his head. Feeling the object in my hands connecting with his skull went through me. He didn’t even look around he lurched forward bouncing his shoulder off the wall in front of him on his way down. Crumpled, the intruder lay in a heap at the top of my stairway.

I dropped the door stop and whipped out the fishing knife from my back pocket.

“Who the fuck are you? And why are you in my house?” He didn’t move, my voice sounded strange like it wasn’t mine. “Answer me.” Still nothing. Shit, had I killed him?

I was horrified. I ran away, back down the stairs. As I reached the hall, I jumped at a loud scratching sound coming from the utility room. I had forgotten entirely about Shadow, who had been scratching at the door to get out and see what was causing such a commotion. I opened the door and felt safer the instant he was at my side.

I needed to check that the man upstairs was dead. The idea of it made me gag. I turned to Shadow and whispered “By me” and then tapped the side of my leg. Please let him understand. I made my way back up the stairs to the place where I had left the intruder. He hadn’t moved from where he had fallen.

I had mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I wanted him to be dead, on the other I wasn’t sure that I could face the reality that I had killed another human being. Bending forward over his body I reached down to check his pulse. I closed my fingers around his wrist and he sprung to life. He twisted his arm away from me and grabbed me firmly around the waist throwing me over and slammed me hard into the floor.

“There you are. I knew you were in here somewhere.” As soon as he spoke I knew who it was. Andy, Joanne’s husband. He was on top of me now, pinning my hips down with his weight. Where was Shadow? Fuck.

“Andy? Look I’m sorry I don’t know what you and your wife think I did to hurt your family. I was just trying to keep my daughter safe. I tried to warn Joanne that it might be dangerous…”

“Are you stupid? Family doesn’t exist for us anymore, everyone is alone. If you want something, you have to take it yourself. But you know that don’t you?” He was glaring down at me. Confused, my eyes searched for Shadow, but I was struggling to make anything out in the darkness. I still held the knife in my right hand, but he had both of my forearms pinned to my sides.

“The kids are gone. Joanne’s gone mad with the grief. There’s nothing left to live for now, so I reckon - life’s short. I’d better find a way to amuse myself with the time I got left - make sure I keep my pecker up if you know what I mean.” With a horrifying grin he looked down at my chest and ripped open the neck of my shirt. He positioned his groin so that I could feel him pushing against the inside of my thigh. Bile rose up in my throat as it sunk in what it was that he had been looking for and my legs turned to jelly.

Then I heard him. A low growl behind my head came closer. Andy’s face looked aghast. “You don’t have a dog. What the fuck is that?”

He let go of one of my forearms and reached down to take something out of his belt, but before he could touch it, Shadow leapt out of the black hallway with his teeth bared. In his efforts to get away from the snarling dog Andy had rolled off me and was now on his back with the dog backing him into the corner. I knew that Andy was dangerous, even with Shadow on my side. I gripped the wooden handle of the knife in my hand and looked for a way to help.

I watched in horror as Andy’s foot shot out and hit Shadow’s flank, a frightened cry came from the dog as he was thrown against the wall at the opposite side of the landing. I had to move.

I dived forward and used both hands to slam the angled knife up and into his unguarded side. I felt the pressure against the knife give way, as my blade pierced his skin and sunk deep between his ribs.

“You really should be more careful who you decide to amuse yourself with.” I hissed in his ear. Paranoid that one wound wouldn’t be enough to stop him, I pulled the knife out, found another target and slid it back in. I don’t like to think how many times I stabbed him. I kept going until I couldn’t feel him moving anymore.

Grabbing at a small table beside me I struggled to get to my feet, my legs were unsteady and my hands shook violently. I backed up until I fell against a wall. My hands dripped with his warm blood. I didn’t recognise myself. Unable to walk, I slid down the wall to the floor. Letting out a silent scream I felt my confidence crumble away and my body began to heave out great sobs of relief. I heard Shadow whining on the floor to my right, and I made my way over to check on him.

“Thank you” I sobbed as I reached him. “Thank you so much.” I stroked his head, and he dropped it on to my lap. What I had been faced with doing to protect myself I had done without thinking, without fully understanding what it meant. But Shadow had known. He had waited for the right moment. He was protecting people he barely knew and had risked his own life to save mine. I had never had a dog before, but I was beginning to understand people’s devotion to their animals.

“Can you stand?” I ran my hand over Shadow’s flank and checked each of his paws to see if they were hurt. Shadow flinched when I passed my hand over his ribs. “You might have cracked one. That was quite a blow you took for me.” Tears were streaming down my face unchecked. I stood.

I was still clutching the fishing knife firmly in my hand. I loosened my grip and it fell to the carpet with a soft thud. I mustered my strength and supported Shadow down the stairs, helping him as best I could into the kitchen. “You’ve been upgraded, buddy. You can stay with us in the house now if you like?” Shadow barely lifted his head. I gathered his bedding from the utility room and brought it through for him.

Gaining enough composure to go back, for my own peace of mind I knew I must feel for a pulse. I pressed the side of his neck and held my breath while waiting for the rhythm of his heartbeat. There was nothing, my skin prickled and I felt cold all over. I had murdered someone.

THE SHOWER WAS cold. I had been expecting it to be, but I barely noticed as the water trickled over me. I was going into shock. I started taking off my clothes, letting them fall to my feet in the bathtub until I was naked. His blood was everywhere. I took a flannel and began scrubbing at my skin where I could see the trailing stains of red. Washing my hair for the first time in almost two months should have been something to rejoice in. Any joy I might have taken from it before was lost on me now. I didn’t want to risk using the water in case it had been contaminated with radiation, but after what had just happened I didn’t feel that I had any other choice. I couldn’t hold my baby covered in the blood of a man I had just murdered.