Russell Hoban - Riddley Walker

I said, “Every body knows you aint a bit woar out plus youre as qwick as the nex 1.”

He said, “Which is you nor I aint no where near as qwick as you. Youre myndy dont you see. You ben lernt to read and write and all ways thinking on things. Trubba not nor I aint staring but I wunt want to be like that it aint no way for a man to be.”

I said, “No Trubba but you wer saying if you wer me.”

He said, “There it is you see. Which I aint becaws Im slow nor I aint myndy so how cud I be you. Yet if I wer you and praps youwl let me give a word and to the whys.”

I said, “Im craving for it Fister.”

He said, “Riddley what Im going to say I Trubba not your dad it ben a diffrent time when he come a man this ben stil a moving crowd back then. May be a connexion man cud stil help his crowd to keap a littl bit a head of the cow shit plus may be he bint give no syn which you ben.”

I said, “Fister whatre you getting at youre going roun by such a long track Im afeart Iwl dy on the road.”

He said, “Riddley youre the qwick 1 how can you be so slow. Here come that dog at you dint he. Old woar out leader old woar out guvner which you steppt forit like a man and took him on your spear. Nex you do your 1st connexion and you come up with Eusas head is dreaming us. Which it is if you keap on connecting them cow shit shows and pontsing for the Ram which thats all it is and you know it. Innit time to sharna pax for Eusas head you take my meaning. Leave the telling to the women and connect with a mans doing.”

I said, “Youre mor the man for that nor me aint you Fister. I aint no kynd of a hevvy.”

He said, “You aint no hevvy but youve got the follerme and I aint. You going to use it or not?”

I said, “Iwl have to think on it wont I.”

He said, “Dont think too much youwl grow hair on the in side of your head.”

Wel I cernly growit a head ake right then and the day only jus begun.

Weare off to Widders Dump then nor we hadnt no moren sydlt on the hy groun sholder when heres the Bernt Arse pack come out of the woodlings like it ben ther rota to show us the way. And heres that black leader with his ears prickt up and waiting for a staytmen.

I cud feal my self getting humpyer by the minim I cud see why they callit getting the hump I fealt like I wer growing 1. All my bother hevvy on my back and tingling and like coming to a poynt. That dog wer looking at me that cern way I uppit bow but the clevver sod wunt even move he knowit he wer out of bow shot.

Straiter Empy wer out with the forage rota it wer Fister Crunchman the lstman of us that day. He said to me, “That dogs looking this way like hes got some thing on his mynd.”

I said, “Theres no knowing what a dog myt have on his mynd.”

Durster Potter said, “Not without youre dog clevver.”

Fister said, “Not that Ive numbert off that pack by colour but I never noatist that black dog til after he come leader.”

Durster said, “I never seen that dog til after Brooder Walker dyd.”

I said, “Whatre you getting at Durster?”

He said, “Wel you know theres some wil tel you of peopl dying in the Ful of the Moon and then theres 1 mor in the Black Pack. May be you shud ask that dog to show you hows your father.” He begun to larf he wer killing his self with it.

I ben carrying 2 throwing spears and a fighting spear like all ways. I ternt them roun and shovit the foot of them in Dursters belly. The wind gone out of him: Hoo! Then I swung them 3 spears and club bit him on the head with the shafs of them. Down he gone. He come up with blood running down his face and come for me with his fighting spear poynt 1st. Fister grabbit the spear and back handit him 1 acrost the meat hoal and he gone flying.

Dursters all of a heap in the mud but he aint interstit in moving til hes sure its all clear with Fister.

Fister says to him, “Durster Trubba not but wud you mynd if I call Plomercy right there? Im afeart if you and Riddley settl some 1 myt get bad hert. All right?”

Durster hes got 1 or 2 teef less in his mouf but he says, “All right Fister no Trubba.”

On we gone then and I tryd to let my self go easy but I wernt easy. Becaws Id noatist the same as Fister and Durster and it ben working on me. Id never seen that black dog til after I kilt the old leader. I dint think my dad gone in to no black dog but it did seam to me that dog musve come special from some where or ben sent to tel me some thing some how. I never heard of no such thing but thats the fealing I had. Plus I pernear did think it myt tern in to some 1 in front of my eyes. Not my dad nor I dint know who but it wuntve snuck me at all to see that dog tern in to a man. Lorna Elswint tol me some thing 1ce the others mus neverve heard it or some 1 wudve brung it in sure:

3 black dogs and 1 says, “The Pry Mincers dead I jus come from the berning.”

Up jumps the bigges of the 3 then on his hynt legs he says, “I bes walk tall Im No. 1 now.”

Coming a long the hy groun sholder where it wer hevvy woodit on the hy side the dogs run on a head of us and gone out of site amongst the trees.

I wer walking fastern I ben you know how youwl do some times youwl put a space be twean your self and some 1 as ben giving you bother. Walking with my head down not looking a roun. You perwel all ways know what youre doing is my beleaf. I wuntve livet to be 12 years old walking that way but that day I musve wantit to give some thing a chance to happen.

Littl by littl getting farther a head of the others I come roun a ben oansome and all on a sudden theres the black leader stanning oansome in front of me. He aint no moren 2 spear lenths a way from me and his yeller eyes ful on me.

I said, “What?” and going tords him. Not liffing spear nor making no move with my hans.

We wer stood there looking at each other then I heard the others coming. I throwt my self to 1 side and a arrer hisselt pas me. I ternt and I seen Durster Potter with a emty bow in his han and 2 dogs on him. Theyre in and out like a flash and theres Durster on the groun with his froat and his pryvits toar out and blood sperting all over and the dogs dispeart. They done it qwickern it takes to tel of it. I ternt roun agen and where the black dog ben it wernt nothing only emty space. No dogs in site at all. There hadnt even ben no noys nor not 1 scream from Durster hed never had no time for that. Nor I hadnt had no time to help him.

Durster ben about as far in front of the others as I ben in front of him. They come roun the ben then the other 17 of them. Wel you know there wer a big hulla bulla every 1 talking at 1ce nor no body never seen nor heard nothing like it. Broad in the day time and 5 days pas Ful of the Moon.

Coarse the upper asking mos in every 1s mynd were: Why Durster? Why not me? I ben the oansome 1 coming roun that ben 1st and the others not in site. Whynt they jump me whyd they wait for Durster? Peopl wer looking at me funny and Iwdve lookit at me the same ben I them. Becaws it lookit like them dogs ben watching when Durster and me had that littl rumpa and they contrackt my nemminy ther nemminy.

I bes put the red cord strait here becaws looking back over what I ben writing it looks like may be Durster ben shooting that arrer at me not at the black dog. I wont never know for cern but I dont think he ben shooting at me. Jus like Id uppit bow at that black leader when I ben fealing humpy I think Durster ben kean to hit some thing after getting flattent 1ce by me and 1ce by Fister. May be he thot coming suddn roun that ben he myt get his self a dog skin. Or may be he ben looking to miss the dog and hit me I dont know.

A nother asking in some peopls mynd and you cud see it in ther eyes wer why hadnt I done nothing. It lookit bad a nuff them dogs hadnt jumpt me but at leas I cudve got some blood on my spear when they ben pulling Durster down. Every body knowit how fas the dogs wer and how clevver but stil I cudve ben a littl qwickern I wer I knowit that. Fister said, “No use moufing it over we cant make it be no other way. Theres blame on all of us but mos on me becaws Im 1stman nor I shuntve had no wandrers out in front.”