Russell Hoban - Riddley Walker

He said, “How is it with you? On or off?”

I said, “On.”

He said, “Is there a connexion?”

I said, “Theres all ways a connexion.”

He said, “Is there a reveal for this crowd?”

I said, “Theres all ways a reveal if itwl come.”

He said, “Is it come?”

I said, “Yes its come. Eusas forage is our meat. Eusas pain is our gain if we look and if we lissen.”

He said, “Tel us.” Then he sat down.

Every body looking at me waiting to hear what kynd of connexion Brooder Walkers boy wer going to do. On my belly I cud feal them 3 stroaks pulling. Torch fires shimmying and the rain spattering in and the shadders shaking over us inside the roof. Faces all ternt to me out of bodys what lookit like wet bundels throwt down on benches and steaming in the warm. Our crowd pong rising which it wer mud and wet it wer meat smoak and sweat long soakt in to the levver and the wool and the hard clof. Suddn it comes to you: What can any body tel any body?

I said, “All right here I am your new connexion man which Im the son of your old connexion man Brooder Walker him as ben kilt in the digging at Widders Dump for a peace of old rottin iron. Here goes my 1st connexion then.”

Befor I write down that 1st connexion I bes say a word or 2 about connexions and I myt as wel tel Truth. When my dad ben a live I all ways thot I cud do better connexions nor him when my chance come. How he done it he wud mummel slow and qwyet and start and stop with long sylents be twean and mosly his connexions wernt nothing very as citing. Every body liket them tho. They all ways gone strait to the hart of the matter plus they wer jus that littl bit else nor mos peopl wuntve thot of it qwite the same way.

Like the time back when I ben 7 or 8 when Littl Salting Fents got largent in by Dog Et Form. That ben up on Top Shoar and we ben down by Fork Stoan then in Crippel the Farn Fents. Every body heard of it tho and talking on it. Dog Et tol some cow shit story of a Outland raid from over water they said thats how Littl Salting got ther Big Man kilt plus 8 mor dead and the res of the crowd sparsit out to who ever wud take them in. In that woal story Dog Et tol there bint a word of Truth only how many dead. Every body knowit Dog Et said, “Les largen in to gether” and Littl Salting said “No” which then it wer arga warga for them.

Wel the Pry Mincer and the Wes Mincer done 1 of ther specials dint they. Coarse they done. My dad tol me that show over when he ben lerning me. I myt as wel tel it here then when I write down the connexion for it thatwl show his styl.

That show ben done by the same Goodparley & Orfing as done the show Ive all ready wrote down. I dont have only the las part of the patter.

Orfing says, “Eusa when you coming up?”

Eusa says rather his voyce says, “I dont know. Longs I stay down no 1 cant put me down.”

Orfing says, “Eusa you dont soun very salty.” Eusas voyce says, “May be thats why every body ben trying to salt me.”

1st figger up aint Eusa its a bloak with a pan of salt. Hes singing a littl song to his self:

Hes singing like that going backards and forit with his salt pan. Mr Clevver comes up then. Hes stanning there watching the salting bloak and hes hummering to his self a littl. The salting bloak stops and hes looking at Mr Clevver.

Mr Clevver says, “Salty bloak are you.”

The salting bloak says, “I reckon Im as salty as the nex 1.”

Mr Clevver says, “Parbly you are mos of the time. This heres a nice littl peace of shoar.”

The salting bloak says, “O yes its a good a nuff peace of shoar.”

Mr Clevver says, “You bes in joy it wylst you can. Have good pleasur and good measur wylst youve got it.”

The salting bloak says, “What dyou mean? This here peace of shoar its ben myn and it all ways wil be.”

Mr Clevver says, “You myt know whats ben but you dont know what wil be. You bes keap your eye on Eusa.”

The salting bloak says, “What for?”

Mr Clevver says, “Becaws hes got his eye on your peace of shoar.”

The salting bloak says, “Wel he better take his eye off it then. Any 1 trys to move in on me wil fynd his self in Trubba. This heres my groun and Iwl stan my groun.”

Mr Clevver says, “And Iwl stan right behynt you. Here comes Eusa now.” Mr Clevver goes down then.

Up comes Eusa leading a cow. The salting bloak is looking at him hard. Eusa looking out to 1 side all scanful.

The salting bloak says, “Oy! Whatre you looking out for then?”

Eusa says, “Looking out for raiders. Im worrit over this shoar.”

The salting bloak says, “Dont you worry over this shoar. Its my groun and Im right here on it and wide a wake.”

Eusa says, “Yes I know only Im worrit any how. Heres you oansome on the shoar with no hevvy fentses and heres me jus inlan of you. Any body gets pas you is going to be headit my way aint they. Whynt you and me largen in to gether wewl be 2ce as strong then.”

The salting bloak says, “2ce as strong but ½ as oansome. Iwl keap this shoar my self. All bes and theres the out path.”

Eusas off then and the Littl Shyning Man comes down hes in 2 peaces. He says, “Onlyes way Iwl get put to gether is when peopl pul to gether.”

The salting bloak says, “Whynt you pul your self to gether no 1 wil do it for you in this worl.”

The Littl Shyning Man says, “I cant pul my self to gether.” The salting bloak says, “Wel I can. So Iwl stan my groun oansome.”

The Littl Shyning Man goes up out of site then Mr Clevver comes up agen. Hes jus stanning there agenst the back clof behynt the salting bloak and looking on. The salting bloak says, “I aint worrit Iwl be snuck from the sea side its the Eusa side Im worrit about.” Hes keaping a sharp look out tords where Eusa gone off.

Wylst the salting bloak is looking that way here comes a hevvy bloak in a boat hes coming from the other side. Hes got a club in his hans and hes coming sly. He jumps out of his boat and knocks the salting bloak on the head. Down goes the salting bloak. Off goes the hevvy bloak where Eusa gone and back he comes with Eusas cow. In to the boat with the cow and the salt and a way he goes. Mr Clevver looking on the woal time he dont do nothing he dont lif a han hes jus stanning there.

The salting bloak comes up agen hes holding his head and no 1 in site only Mr Clevver. Salting bloak says to Mr Clevver, “Why dint you help me?”

Mr Clevver says, “I said Iwd stan behynt you and I done that.” Hes larfing then he goes off.

Eusa comes up agen hes holding his head as wel. Eusa and the salting bloak holding ther heads and looking at each other.

Eusa says to the salting bloak, “Whats the matter with your head?”

Salting bloak says, “It aint as hard as the club what basht me thats whats the matter with it. What about you?”

Eusa says, “I ben basht the same plus my cow ben took off.”

Salting bloak says, “My salt ben took as wel.”

Eusa says, “I thot you ben on your groun and wide a wake. How come you ben snuck?”

Salting bloak says, “I ben looking inlan and got raidit from the sea.”

Eusa says, “I ben looking to the sea but he come roun behynt and raidit me from inlan. You cant be looking every way at lce when youre oansome.”

Salting bloak says, “May be we bes largen in to gether itwl be the safes thing for boath of us.”

Eusa says, “Iwl yes with that.”

Then Eusa and the salting bloak get fents poals and theyre largening in to gether and thats the end of the show.

Reason Ive wrote down this woal show is so I cud put in my dads reveal at the end of it. Like Ive said he tol me that show over when he ben lerning me. He ben prowd of his reveal for that 1 moren mos he done becaws for 1ce the crowd movit on his words.