Em Garner - Contaminated

I’m not sure how to approach this. My brain hurts. I still want a shower. I’m hungry now, too, and thirsty, and I really just wish all of this would go away.

I’m thinking so hard, the sound of footsteps on the floor doesn’t distract me right away. I hear the patter of feet on the bare wood floor of the kitchen, then more muffled steps in the living room. Then, farther off, some harder steps that sound like they’re coming from closer to the front door. What are they doing up there, playing tag? I can imagine Opal suggesting it, maybe even encouraging my mom to play, but I can’t imagine my mom moving fast enough to be any sort of fun.

As if on cue, there’s a thump and a muffled crash. Craig’s forgotten as I stare at the ceiling, ears straining. More footsteps. Heavier. Not Opal. Not my mom.

Someone else is in the house.

I DON’T EVEN THINK, I JUST GRAB UP THE nearest thing to a weapon I can reach. It’s a hammer. I might get close enough to use it.

All I can think about is Craig slamming his body into the glass. About the woman in the bathrobe. About the Connie in the hallway of the laundry room, and about the dozens, no, hundreds of Connies on the news.

And about my mom.

I push the thought from my mind. My mother would never hurt us. Not even without the collar. Not even without Mercy Mode. Even when she was succumbing to the Contamination, she saved us. She is not up there chasing my sister, trying to hurt her.

I’m at the top of the basement stairs before I know it, but I stop myself from hurtling through. The door opens into the kitchen, but when it’s open, it blocks the doorway into the dining room, which is the area where I heard the crash and the thumps, close to the front door. If I fling open this door, it will prevent anyone in the dining room from getting to me, but it will also keep me from getting to them. It will also give away my presence.

Connies aren’t subtle. They’re not usually fast, either, but they are relentless, and they’re drawn to noise and motion. It would be easier to sneak up on one than it is to come right at it from the front—and the same would be true if it’s not a Connie, just some random person breaking into our house for whatever reason.

Downstairs, faced with Craig’s body, I thought I couldn’t think anymore. I couldn’t do anything but pant and hold back screams while my mind twisted and turned, trying to make sense of all of this.

I don’t need to make sense now. I’m acting on instinct. The way I did when the Connie came out at me from the door that was supposed to be locked. The way I did when Craig started walking into the sliding glass door.

And the way I did when I killed the man in the woods behind our house. The one I don’t think about, ever, because the memory makes me shake and sweat and want to pass out. I don’t remember the feeling of his hands on me, the sourness of his breath, or the stink of his sweat. I don’t remember the way his blood was hot and sticky on my hands, or the sound he made when I gut-stabbed him. I never think of those things because I don’t want to remember that once I killed a man, or that I’d do it again if I have to.

With shaking hands I turn the door handle. Slowly. The door creaks, so I open it slowly, too. I’m tensing, listening for the sound of screams or moans, even the shuffle of feet. I can hear the low mutter of voices, one low and deep and therefore not Opal or my mom. A man’s voice. I can’t make out what he’s saying, but it sounds urgent and important.

I slip through the door and stand in the kitchen, breathing hard, listening. They’re still by the front door. If I turn to my left, I can sneak through the family room and come at him from the front. If I turn to my right, it’s a short skip and jump through the dining room to attack from the side. Faster, but potentially more dangerous because I’ll be revealing myself right away, and I can’t remember if the furniture in the dining room’s been moved around. Also, I hear Opal saying something but not what, and I don’t know where she and my mom are.

When I hear my mom cry out, I don’t waste any more time thinking. My mind goes blank. The hammer goes up.

I’m screaming when I round the corner at top speed. I hit a chair, knock it out of the way. Pain bursts into my shins, but I’m not even limping as I cross the room, ready to bust in the face of whoever’s hurting my mom and sister.

I’m moving too fast to stop, even when I see who it is. My socks slide on the floor when I try to slow down. I stumble, sliding, and bury the hammer into the wall, up to my wrists.

Just about a foot from Dillon’s head. Nobody says a word. The only sound is my harsh breathing and Opal’s small squeak. Dillon seems stunned speechless, eyes wide, jaw dropped. He hasn’t even moved. If I let go of the hammer, I can probably pull myself free of the hole I’ve made in the wall, but my fingers won’t release.

From behind me I hear a low, muttered garble. Not words. Not humming. Not a groan or a grunt, either. It takes me a few mangled seconds to figure out what it is, and when I do, I manage to pull the hammer and my hands from the wall.

My mom’s laughing.

Opal, standing behind her, looks back and forth from me to Dillon. “I thought you liked him, Velvet!”

Dillon lets out the breath he must’ve been holding. “Velvet, are you all right?”

It takes me a few more seconds to realize that I can see everyone and everything because the lights are on. Just one here in the front hall, one in the kitchen, one in the family room. Dillon’s hair has fallen over his eyes and he shakes his head to get it out of the way. I put the hammer on top of the small table where we usually put the mail that needs to be taken down to the mailbox.

“Dillon.” My voice sounds harsh.

My mom’s still laughing gently, her eyes bright. She shakes her head and reaches for me. She hugs me hard, her hand stroking my hair. When I pull away to look at her, it seems impossible that after everything we’ve been through, I could be annoyed with her, but I am.

“It’s not funny!” I scowl.

My mom shakes her head. Her gaze goes to Dillon, then to me. She doesn’t speak, and her smile’s crooked, drooping on one side, but I get her meaning. She’s echoing what Opal said.

“I do like him,” I say. I look at him. “I just didn’t know it was him. God, you guys. I thought… I thought…”

Then they’re all hugging and patting me. Even Dillon gets pulled into it by my mom, until we’re all in this great group hug that should feel awkward but makes me laugh, too, when I start to see the humor in all of it. Or maybe the only way to react any longer to any of this is to laugh, because if we don’t, we might as well just give up.

“I’m sorry, Dillon.”

He shrugs. “No problem. I guess I should’ve called first, huh?”

I roll my eyes at his joke. My mom backs up, tugging on Opal’s sleeve. Opal’s clearly not ready to leave, her eyes wide as she stares at me and Dillon. Still, she gives in to my mom’s tugging and they head for the family room to leave me and Dillon standing in embarrassed silence at the front door.

“I’m sorry, Velvet. Really. I didn’t know I’d scare you like that. But… wow.” Dillon lifts the hammer, hefting its weight. “Impressive. You really could’ve taken me out with this.”

“I…”

He shakes his head. “It’s okay. I understand.”

We’ve all had to do things we normally wouldn’t have. Dillon’s seen a lot of Connies at his mom’s work. I’m sure he does understand. And suddenly, I want to tell him my story, the one I’ve never told anyone. Nobody knows.

“There was a man in the woods,” I tell him, blurting it out so I can’t stop myself. “I went out to get some wood for the fire. This was before, before now.”