S. Bodeen - The Fallout

Lucas pushed past me and went right up to the window, where he placed his hands flat against it and looked up at the bottoms of some huge salmon.

Eddy was reading the brochure and stopped. He glanced at his watch. “Hey, the dive show is about to start. There won’t be another one while we’re here.”

“Let’s do it,” I said. I pushed the stroller closer until I was standing behind Lucas, and Eddy and Lee stood on either side of me.

The water inside the tank surged now and then, which made the blades of kelp sway slightly. Huge rock formations took up a lot of space, and tons of fish swam in and out as we watched. Anemones poked out of holes in the rock, and sea stars and sea urchins were stuck to the sides. Eddy bent down beside Lucas. “See the sea stars?”

Lucas’s mouth was wide-open and he nodded. “Look at all the fish.”

As we watched, a diver entered the water and swam until he was on the other side of the window from all of us who were watching. A good-size crowd began to gather, mainly a lot of moms with preschool-age kids. The one man in the room caught my eye. He had a thick, reddish beard and wore camouflage pants and a black jacket. He held the hand of a little girl in dark braids who was sniffling. Her eyes were red, as if she’d been crying. She told him, “I want to stay!”

In the last few minutes before the program started, the crowd began to pack in tight around us.

My heart raced and my breaths became shorter. I felt like I wasn’t getting any air. My hands began to tingle, and I pulled my collar away from my throat. I wanted to scream.

Lee grabbed my arm. “You okay?”

“I don’t know. I—” Was I having a panic attack? All these people… Costco had been crowded, but the warehouse had been brightly lit, the ceiling high overhead, plenty of space. But here, in the aquarium, it was darker, and the ceiling was low, and I felt packed in with everyone.

“Take a deep breath,” he said.

“I’m trying.” I squatted down, so I was eye level with everyone’s purses and strollers. Cara reached out to me. I took her hand and held it, squeezing probably harder than I should have, but having her soft little hand in my hand helped. After a moment I could breathe again, and my heartbeat had slowed back down. I stood up. Lee asked if I was okay and I nodded.

The diver started talking through his headpiece, telling us about some of the fish and other creatures inside the tank. Lucas was riveted by all the commotion inside the tank, and as I calmed down more, I found that I was, too. How long had it been since I’d seen something like the aquarium?

Since the Compound, I’d spent a lot of hours on the beach in Hawaii, but hadn’t done any snorkeling. Even though the aquarium fish weren’t as colorful as tropical ones were, they were amazing to watch. I found myself mesmerized and didn’t really think anything of it when the diver offered to answer questions and Lucas raised his hand.

Lucas was little and cute, so of course the guy would call on him first, before I could pull his hand back down. And of course the guy would ask, “Where you from, buddy?”

Lucas said, “I used to live in the ground, but now we live in a new house.” He turned to me. “Eli, where is our new house?”

So stunned I couldn’t think, I managed to catch my breath in time to bark out a laugh and look around at the crowd, who were shooting odd looks at Lucas. “He likes to make things up,” I said.

Eddy joined my fake laugh and added, “He’s got the wildest imagination.”

I nodded, and soon some of the crowd began to smile and looked at their own kids. I breathed a sigh of relief and figured we’d better play it safe and move on. “Lucas, what should we see next?”

He looked confused, as if he really wanted to pursue his annoyance at us, but he also didn’t want to blow his chance to see everything. His face finally relaxed and he asked, “Is there a food place? I’m hungry.”

I grinned. “Yeah.”

I saw Eddy hold out his hand to Lucas, so I pushed Cara in the stroller, following the signs that said CAFÉ. I stood in line behind Lee, who turned around to ask us all what we wanted. Lee said he’d stay in line, so Eddy and I took Lucas and Cara to sit down at a table.

Lucas asked, “Where’s the bathroom?”

I stood up. “Come on.”

The bathroom wasn’t far—down a short hallway—and no one was inside. Probably because it was a weekday and the aquarium was mainly full of moms, who would take all their kids with them into the women’s room.

Lucas went into a stall and shut the door. I heard it lock.

“You okay in there?” I asked.

“Yes.”

My cell phone rang. Eddy. “Yeah?”

“Cara is sick. She took a drink of her apple juice and threw it back up. Along with her breakfast. Oh God…”

“Seriously?” I sighed. “Well, clean her up and I’ll be out in a minute.”

“Dude, can you come now? This is gross.”

“And it’s gonna be less gross for me?” I sighed. “Lucas, you almost done?”

His voice echoed in the stall. “No!”

I sighed. “Eddy, you’ve got to come in here and wait for Lucas.” Then I shoved the phone in my pocket and grabbed a bunch of paper towels, wetting some. “Lucas, stay there. Eddy’s coming in, okay?”

“Yes.”

I jogged back out to the table, which was a mess. Cara had thrown up not only the apple juice, but also the French toast she’d had at home for breakfast. Lee was holding his hand over his mouth and facing away from her. He shook his head at me. “Sorry. Sympathetic puker.”

I wanted to groan. “That’s fine. I’ll clean this up and then we’d better get her home.”

I heard an electronic beeping come from the direction of the hallway. It wasn’t loud enough to be a fire alarm, just loud enough to be annoying, so I ignored it and started in with the paper towels.

Eddy was still standing there.

I frowned. “Go get Lucas.”

“Sorry.” He turned and left. I wiped off Cara with the towels as best as I could and stuck her back in the stroller. Our food had come by then, and Lee had it in bags so we could take it with us. Although eating was the last thing on my mind.

At the edge of my vision, I saw Eddy come back. “Ready to go?”

“He wasn’t there.”

I turned to face him and noticed he was alone. “What?”

Eddy’s eyes were wide and he nearly spat out the words, “He wasn’t in there. Lucas is gone.”

Lucas couldn’t be gone. Eddy was wrong. I lowered my voice and spoke slowly. “He’s in one of the stalls.”

Eddy grabbed my arm. “No, he’s not. He wasn’t in there. I checked everywhere.”

Lee was already pulling on my arm. “There’s only one exit. I’ll go there, you check at the front desk.”

Eddy took the handle of the stroller, and I said, “I’m checking the bathroom. He has to be there.” I ran there, nearly smashing into a kid coming out. “Crap.” Inside, I slammed open each of the stall doors. No Lucas. I whirled around, trying to get a grip. “Lucas!”

I ran back out and headed toward the front entrance of the aquarium. Eddy was at the front desk. He’d gotten rid of the stroller and was holding Cara. “Did they find him?”

Eddy shook his head.

Outside, rain was pouring down, and Lee stood at the door, looking outside. I joined him. “Lucas has to be in here. He wouldn’t go out there. Not when it’s pouring.”

Eddy came out. “No one there has seen a lost kid.”

I covered my face with my hands. “It’s my fault. I should have waited for him.”

Eddy touched my shoulder. “No, I should have just cleaned it all up myself.”

Lee didn’t say anything, but from the look on his face, it was clear he considered himself at fault. Then he pointed outside, shoved the door open, and stormed through it.