S. Bodeen - The Fallout

“We will, just hold on.” I walked faster, shoving the cart in front of me, but as I got to the end of the aisle, an employee with a huge, orange flat cart full of cases of cans of Diet Coke and plastic bottles of SunnyD cut me off, blocking the aisle in the process.

“Excuse me,” I said. “I need to get by.”

“Just a minute. This is heavy.”

I grabbed the handle of her cart and yanked, pulling it past mine. Then I pushed past. But when we reached the next aisle, there was no one there. I kept on pushing up that aisle where the man should have been. When I got to the end, something crunched under my shoe.

I moved my foot.

There was a small pile of white powder. Like I’d crushed a small white tablet of some kind. Like a… Tums.

Those last few months in the Compound, my father was never without a pack of Tums.

Dad?

My hands started to tremble. It wasn’t possible. He was gone.

“Eli?” Lucas grabbed hold of my sleeve. “Your face is all white. Are you gonna puke?”

Just then a woman in a plastic cap at a display next to us called out, “Samples! Calcium supplements. They’re good for kids as well as adults. Sixteen-ounce bottle.”

I took one of the paper cups she held out.

Inside were two round white tablets. I looked down beside my foot. Exactly like the one that lay there on the floor, ground to a powder when I’d stepped on it.

I breathed out. Paranoid much?

Lucas was still looking at me with a concerned expression on his face.

I smiled. “No, I’m not gonna puke.” What a dweeb. I’d imagined some guy staring at me. And then I’d freaked out over some stupid calcium supplements.

I almost laughed. If I was ever going to be normal, I would really have to figure out how to stop being so paranoid.

I waited until the sample woman wasn’t looking and tossed the little paper cup, and the tablets, into the trash.

We met everyone else up front. After we checked out, we went to the snack bar where Lee bought a bunch of pizza slices and frozen yogurt berry sundaes. We all sat at a red picnic table in the food area to eat. Lucas and Cara couldn’t decide what they liked better, so they would take a few bites of pizza, then go for a spoonful of sundae. Even Lexie, who always watched what she ate, had both.

Other than Els baking morning pastries a couple mornings a week, our meals at home tended to be healthy, no processed foods, mainly fresh, and Els and the other cook got no argument from any of us. We’d had enough boxed and canned food to last the rest of our lives.

At least I had.

But still. Pizza and ice cream once in a while was fine with me.

Back home on Mercer Island, Mom hugged all of us, looking totally relieved that we’d survived Costco unscathed. After everything we’d been through, letting her kids go to Costco was probably more nerve-wracking for Mom than we’d ever know.

I helped talk Lucas into a nap and then went to watch some television in the den. I liked that our new house didn’t have humungous rooms like our mansion did. I loved all the windows and natural light, and the small rooms were just… homier. The den had a huge flat-screen TV mounted over the gas fireplace, both of which were on. Leather recliners sat on either side of a large leather couch, and Lexie sat in one, watching some talk show where people were screaming at one another. She quickly wiped her eyes and shifted so she faced away from me.

I plopped down in the other recliner. “This stuff will rot your brain.”

Lexie tried to sound upbeat. “These people are crazy. See that woman? She’s married to that guy, but she thinks the other guy is the father of her baby. They’re going to find out the results of the paternity test right now.”

I wanted to ask her how she was, why she was so sad. Instead, I just asked, “How can you watch this crap all the time?”

She shrugged. “Sometimes they have people find their long-lost relatives.” She pointed at the screen. “This one girl went looking for her real parents after her adoptive ones died, and it turned out her biological mother was actually the gymnastics coach that she already was living with! Is that crazy or what?” She looked like she wanted to say something else, but Eddy walked in and started digging through the DVDs. “You guys want to watch a movie?”

Lexie murmured, “When my show’s done.”

I opened up the ottoman nearest me and pulled out a white blanket.

Eddy kept looking through the DVDs as Lexie and I sat there, not saying anything. Finally the credits started rolling. Lexie glared at Eddy and then looked at me. “Eli? Can we talk?”

“Um, yeah?” Weren’t we already talking?

Her eyes flicked over to Eddy, then back at me. “Alone?”

Eddy stopped what he was doing and looked at her. “I’ll go get us something to drink. You two have your little talk.” He left.

Lexie said, “Is he mad?” She didn’t sound like she cared if he was or not. She and Eddy had not exactly bonded in the past few weeks, and I was beginning to feel like I was their intermediary. So it made things worse when she made a point of leaving Eddy out of our conversations.

I shook my head. “Why can’t you talk in front of him?”

Lexie glanced around a bit and then leaned closer to me. Her voice was a whisper. “What would you think if I wanted to find my real parents?”

I froze. “What?” Lexie was adopted, but it wasn’t something I thought of very often. She was just my sister. It was easy to forget the rest.

She nodded. “My biological parents.” She pointed at the television. “So many people have been reunited. It’s really cool.”

I shook my head. “Listen, just because people on these stupid shows do that doesn’t mean you should. Those things are probably fake and set up anyway.”

Lexie watched the show for a little bit. “Yeah. I guess.” She didn’t exactly look convinced, but I hoped that she meant it, and the subject was done. She tilted her head a bit and the corner of her mouth turned up. “It was a good day, wasn’t it?”

“Costco.” I snorted. “Who’d have thought?”

Her face lit up when she smiled. “I was very happy to get my industrial-size box of Tic Tacs.”

Eddy came back holding sodas and plates, along with the pound of mango salsa and huge brown bag of tortilla chips he’d chosen at Costco. He handed me a plate, poured some salsa onto it, and then ripped open the bag of chips.

Lexie turned off the television. “I’m going up to my room.”

As soon as she left, Eddy asked, “What was the big secret?”

I put a handful of chips on my plate, then dipped one into the salsa and stuffed it in my mouth. “Not a big secret,” I said, my mouth full.

“Says the person who’s in on the secret.” Eddy sounded miffed.

“Really, it was nothing.”

Eddy flipped on the television and started zipping through the channels, glaring.

“What?” I asked.

He didn’t answer.

“Dude, it was nothing. She just feels more comfortable talking to me alone I guess.”

Eddy turned to me, his eyes narrowed and dark. “That’s Lexie. Don’t you remember? She hated us. And we didn’t exactly like her. And now, it’s like…”

“What?”

He shrugged. “You two are BFFs. I’m the third wheel.”

I frowned. “That’s not it.”

He said, “Yeah? Then explain it to me.”

How was I supposed to explain that, until the last few days in the Compound, I’d isolated myself from everyone?

That Lexie and I had barely talked, been closer to enemies than siblings? That, for all those years, I had basically been alone?

How was I supposed to explain that Lexie and I had to finally put aside our differences in order to get our family out of the Compound?