She drew her legs up tentatively. A burn stretched through her right thigh and made her breath catch. After a moment, she exhaled slowly and patted Wren on the side. He scooted towards the foot of the bed, giving her room to swivel and swing her legs over the edge. She gingerly moved back so she could lean against the wall, and then straightened her legs out again.
The pain was hard to define. It hurt certainly, but the raw edge was missing. Cass wasn’t sure if that was due to the injection Mouse had given her, or if it was a new way her body processed injury. The bandage around her thigh was discolored, like a bruise beneath the cloth, where the wound had oozed, but not enough to soak through.
Once she settled into position, she held up her arm and motioned for Wren. He slid in next to her and cuddled up.
Lil sat across from Cass, watching them together. The smile was gone, but she had a pleasant expression on her face. There was a heaviness in her eyes, though.
“Mouse told me about Elan,” Cass said. “I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am…”
Lil’s gaze dropped for a moment at the mention of his name. But then she gave a nod and looked back up at Cass. “We will all miss him very dearly.” And something in her voice said more, and Cass knew then that there had been more between them than she had previously guessed. More than friendship. Lovers. Perhaps only in secret, or maybe only in their hearts, separated by some other circumstance.
“His son… did I make him an orphan?” Cass asked.
Lil shook her head. “Ephraim’s mother is here with us.”
“How is she?”
“It’s a difficult time for her. Their relationship had been strained for quite a while, and I’m afraid they didn’t part on the best of terms.”
“And how are you?”
Lil hesitated. But she seemed to soften slightly, and after a moment, an unspoken understanding passed between them. “It’s a difficult time for us all.”
The emotions swelled within Cass, the sorrow, the anger, but most of all the guilt. “Lil, if I could go back–”
Lil raised a hand and shook her head. “Don’t, Cass. We know our enemy; our enemy took his life, not you. The seven of us made our own decisions, and we did so fully expecting that some wouldn’t return. That six of us did, with all of you as well… it’s a triumph beyond what anyone would have imagined. If you must feel sorry, pity Mouse. I think he has taken it the hardest of all.”
She dropped her gaze again, but a little smile crept across her lips. “He is something of a mystery. A valiant warrior, yet even more fierce a healer. ‘A poet in a barbarian’s body’,” Cass said, recalling Swoop’s earlier joke. Half joke.
“He fought relentlessly to save Elan. When it was clear we wouldn’t be able to resuscitate him, we had to physically restrain Mouse.”
“That couldn’t have been easy.”
Lil chuckled. “It was not.”
“But you were able to bring…” Cass almost said the body , but stopped herself, “…him home?”
Lil nodded. They sat in silence for a time. Cass ran her fingers through Wren’s hair, kissed the top of his head.
“Can you tell me what happened?” Cass said at last. “It’s all confused in my mind.”
Lil drew a breath and remained quiet a few moments.
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to,” Cass said, but Lil shook her head.
“When we arrived, we spread out just north of the enclave and remained hidden. I came closer than the others, to scout. I confess, I thought you had exaggerated how many Weir were there. If anything, you may have underestimated their numbers.
“After the explosion, the dust and smoke were thick, and I couldn’t see much at first. But we closed ranks as planned, hoping to provide a front against the Weir, for you to retreat behind.”
She paused, her eyes momentarily distant, unfocused. Cass waited patiently.
“You killed a lot of them, Mama,” Wren said. “A lot .”
Cass glanced down at Wren and then back up to Lil for confirmation. She nodded.
“I’ve never seen anyone move like that before,” Lil said. “Even now, I can hardly believe that what I remember is true. The explosion had thrown many to the ground, but it killed only a handful. Fifteen, maybe. We estimate you alone killed over forty.”
“It wasn’t just me,” Cass said. “Gamble and her team were firing from the building.”
“No,” Lil said, shaking her head. “That was before your team made it to the door.”
Cass thought back to the moments before she first heard gunfire. The ground had been covered with the slain, but she’d thought most of them had come from the explosion.
“The Weir didn’t seem to even notice the others until they were already behind us. We called to you then. But you didn’t hear. The Weir…” Lil trailed off for a moment, searching for the words. She shook her head again. “It was like a human whirlpool. In human. That was when we feared for you, and came to get you.”
“I think… I think that was Asher,” Wren said. “He didn’t want you to get away.”
“After I fell, I must’ve already been losing consciousness. I thought I saw…” Cass said; it was her turn to trail off now. She was almost embarrassed to say it. “I don’t know. Something like angels, I guess. And I could swear I heard singing.”
“That was Lil,” Wren said. “She sings.”
“We learned long ago that when one is surrounded by unearthly screams, a human voice can sometimes reduce the terror.”
“No one sings like Lil, though,” Wren added. “It makes you brave.” Lil looked at him with a warm smile.
“Well, that’s reassuring,” said Cass. “Good to know I didn’t hallucinate the whole thing.”
“You didn’t dream any of it, Mama,” Wren said. “They were doing their trick.”
Cass looked at Wren, and then back to Lil for an explanation. Lil didn’t seem to understand exactly what Wren was saying either, at first.
But then she said, “There’s something Chapel taught us. He called it broadcasting. We’re not sure what it really does, or why it works, but it seems to make the Weir more hesitant to attack.”
Cass thought back to her last view of the battle, and though her final thoughts had been full of dread, her curiosity nevertheless won out.
“Show me.”
Lil was initially reluctant, but after a moment, she drew herself up on the bed and inhaled deeply. She locked her eyes on Cass’s. At first, there was no change. But after a moment, a faint glow started to gather around her, subtle and shifting, like a thin wisp of electric smoke. Lil closed her eyes briefly. The glow rippled. Where once it had appeared to be drawing from the air around her, it now surged as if emanating from within her. Her skin became as white as lightning, and when she opened her eyes, they burned with white-orange intensity, like coals in the heart of a fire.
She was terrible to look upon. Terrible, beautiful, utterly impossible to withstand. Even knowing that Lil was a friend and would do nothing to harm her, Cass felt her heart quail within her. And yet she felt unable to look away.
In the next instant, the angel of destruction was gone and only Lil remained. Cass realized she was holding her breath. She closed her eyes and exhaled, tried to force the tension out of her body.
“Can you teach me?” Wren asked.
“It was difficult to learn,” Lil said. “But I can try, if it’s OK with your mother.”
Wren looked up at her.
“We’ll see,” she said. And then to Lil, “It was you. It was you that I saw. You came, ran into the swarm and saved me.”
Lil dipped her head forward in acknowledgment, and said, “I was there, with Elan and Mei. Swoop, Finn, and Mouse as well. Together we were able to push the Weir back and scatter them. Then we ran.”
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