Jason Morrow - Anywhere but Here

The final bullet will take me away from here. Here is hell on earth. Here is pain and suffering.

Anywhere but here.

I turn the gun around and hold the barrel, the end resting under my chin. It feels hot, but I don’t have time to worry about such a trivial problem. I rest the stock on the floor and extend my arm so my thumb can slide over the trigger.

Another tear streaks down the side of my face as a hold the door closed, my thumb beginning to press down.

Anywhere but here. This life is too much anyway. This world is hopeless. My last bullet… It can take me anywhere but here.

The door swings in a few inches and the rifle falls to the floor. I’m forced to use my hands and feet to push as hard as I can.

I just need a second!

I hold myself against the door as I reach down and pull up the rifle again. The barrel is cooler this time when the skin under my jaw presses against the metal. My thumb finds the trigger again.

Can I do this to myself? I didn’t come here ready to die.

I close my eyes to embrace the bullet. Anywhere but here.

Boom!

The shot is deafening, but I feel no heat, no pain, just as I expected. However, I am still very conscious. How?

Boom! Boom! Boom!

The door becomes still as the greyskins stop pushing against it. My eyes travel to the trigger and I realize that I haven’t even attempted to pull it. I set the gun on the ground and sit on my knees, staring through the broken glass in the door. There are at least five men, raiders probably. No doubt they heard my shots and came running in here to see what I’ve looted.

They will be sorely disappointed.

My heart is pounding as I watch them take out the entire first floor of greyskins with such grace as though they did this every day. I suddenly realize that they are going to find me, so I might as well let them know I am here without them mistaking me as a greyskin.

“Help!” I yell out. I set my gun on the ground and raise my hands in the air. I can hear the footsteps of greyskins both coming up and down the stairs. “Help!” I yell out again.

The door in front of me swings open and two men burst through. “Get on the floor!” the first one yells. I lie flat and press my cheek against the cold floor as more shots ring out and they blow the heads off the greyskins coming up and down the stairs.

I was about to kill myself. I wonder if I should have done it anyway. I don’t know who these men are. Would it have been better to kill myself than to be raped and then killed by these strangers? I took a chance, and now I’m going to have to live with the consequences. I just hope I don’t live to regret my decision.

The two men pull me up by my coat and force me into the hallway. The bodies of greyskins lie everywhere and I quickly remember what it used to be like to travel with a group. In a group, I could have gotten to the medical records more easily.

They pull me to the front of the hospital until they set me on my knees just in front of the sliding doors. I count all the people around me. There are five men and two women. One of the men stands at the center. He only carries a pistol in a holster on his belt. He has a thick, black beard and olive skin. His brown eyes stare into me like he’s never come across another person before.

“What’s your name?” he asks me as one of his men takes off my backpack and begins to rummage through it. Another gives the leader my rifle and pistol.

“None of your business.”

“What are you doing here?” the leader asks.

“Looking for supplies.”

The leader looks at his man that’s searching my backpack and the man hands it to him.

“Beans,” the leader says, fumbling through the bag, “pocket knife, fish…” He pulls out Jessi’s medical file. “These aren’t really the supplies I thought one would go into a hospital to find.”

“I’m looking for someone,” I say this time.

“New story, eh?”

“Why do you care?” I can feel my cheeks beginning to turn red. “Just do what you want with me and let me go.”

The leader shakes his head and motions for one of his men to grab me. “I don’t think so,” he says. “We’re going to take you in, question you.”

“What, are you pretending to be cops?”

“I do police this territory, yes,” the leader says. He thumbs through the file. “I don’t know you so I’m taking you in.”

My stomach sinks at his words. This could mean a lot of things. Long hours of questioning. Maybe there won’t be questions at all and they will do nothing but have their way with me until I’m withered away — this being the more likely scenario.

I should have pulled the trigger. I should have ended it myself. I wish I was anywhere but here.

The leader looks at the man who’s got a hold of me and nods. I’m about to say something when I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head and all I see is black.

I’m not surprised when I wake up in a dark room with my hands tied to the back of my chair. My coat, backpack, and guns are all gone, of course. I’ve been stripped to just my t-shirt and jeans and they even took my shoes and socks. My bare feet feel so cold against the concrete floor.

My head is screaming with pain and I’m sure there’s a giant lump under my hair. I’m almost glad there isn’t a bright light in here since I know it would just add to my headache. There is, however, a faint light shining around the cracks of the door on the other side of the room. Occasionally I will see the shadows of someone moving past the door, but no more than that.

I didn’t see anything on my way here. All I remember was being hit in the head and then waking up here. I have no sense of the layout of whatever building I might be in, so using my special hearing ability is difficult. I’m not sure where the bearded leader might be, so finding him will be next to impossible. Instead, I try to find any nearby conversations.

I close my eyes and listen as intently as possible. I’m pretty sure that beyond the door is a hallway, so I project my hearing through the door and I turn left. I hear a conversation.

How long do you think the rain will continue?

I don’t know, you idiot, it’s not like we have weathermen anymore.

I move forward and pause after a few feet. I hear a door open at the other end of the hall, so I know there is something ahead. I move forward and push through the next door. I can hear the sound of the wind, so I know I’m outside now. I can hear voices to my right, so I try to move there.

You’re it!

No, you’re it! I was in the safe zone!

Stop cheating, Marshal!

Yeah, stop being such a baby.

These are the voices of children playing outside in the rain. That means that I wasn’t captured by raiders at all. Is this another town or village? I have never heard of there being such a place so near the Epicenter. But there is no way that the bearded leader could guess that I know that. He’s going to try and make me think that I’m in danger, though there is still a possibility of that. But if there are children, then that means these people are just trying to stay safe. Once they see that I’m not a threat, they aren’t going to kill me.

The thoughts leave my mind instantly as I open my eyes. It isn’t true. Townspeople kill outsiders all the time if they think it will better serve them. Regardless, it makes me feel more at ease.

The door opens wide and beardy flips on the light, blinding me and sending a surge of pain through my head. Through squints I can see two men at his side, both carrying guns. Beardy seems unarmed but he undoubtedly has a knife or something.