Jason Morrow - Anywhere but Here

“Be careful,” I say, taking a step away from him. “This seems like the kind of thing where you could get way in over your head. It doesn’t seem safe.”

“I’ll be okay,” he says. “Paxton trusts me. It’s you that needs to be careful.”

I grin at him and look all around me with a shrug. “This is the life I’m used to. The past three months have been nice, but probably too good to be true.”

“There are other places, I’m sure,” he says.

“You just take care of Crestwood,” I say.

I turn my back to him and begin walking down the winding road. When I’m about a hundred paces away, I listen for Gabe.

Can you hear me speak to you now? he asks.

I keep walking, my head down as the wind hits me.

We will meet again, Remi, he says. Paxton may have placed a wedge between us now, but not forever. I have loved getting to know you. I love being around you. I love you.

I try not to let my head turn, but I give myself away only slightly. Then I keep walking — just as I always do. There’s no place for love, no time to get involved, to become close. More than likely, I’ll be dead soon. Love is just too painful. I should know this better than anyone. I’m not going to let it happen again.

My feet carry me forward as I get lost in my thoughts. I’m long out of sight before I hear the turning over of the engine and Gabe driving in the opposite direction.

I am alone.

I sit in one of the courtyards of Crestwood alone, without a weapon, and I feel at peace. It is the first time in a long while that I have felt so at ease. The wind blows softly through the streets and the voices of people and children pass through the alleys and lanes without a care. But the clouds that fill the sky make me think only of the storm to come. I think of that moment when Gilbert commits a final heroic act. I just can’t see how it is all supposed to happen. I want to try and stop it, but I don’t know how. And I’m beginning to think that I won’t be able to.

I see someone to my right and I smile when I notice that it’s Ethan. He looks nice after a fresh shower. He has shaved and his dark hair is combed to the side.

“You look like a real gentleman,” I say.

He grins at me. “And you, Miss Waverly, look stunning as usual.”

“How are you liking your new place?” I ask.

“It’s not bad. Has everything I need. I’ve stayed in much worse, I can tell you that.” He sits next to me on the bench and I scoot over a few inches.

“Have you gotten to know anyone yet?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I’ve only talked to the supply lady. She seemed real nice. Other than that I’ve just been keeping to myself. Enjoying my freedom a bit.”

“I hear you.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’ve talked to a few people,” he says. “There was a couple that has been here about a year now. They seem to like it okay. The word around town is that someone was banished from here not too long ago. Maybe a couple of days.”

“Hmm.”

“Yeah. I don’t know. I didn’t ask really.”

“Keep to ourselves and stay out of trouble,” I say. “That’s the best way to be allowed to stick around.”

“I just think it’s kind of weird,” he says. “I can’t really explain it.”

“The banishing?”

“No, just being here,” he says. “I really hope we can be a part of something. I don’t want to just survive. I’ve been surviving for the past three years. Now I want to help.”

“I’m certain that time will come,” I say. “For now, just enjoy the new freedom.”

He nods at me and smiles. “You holding up okay?”

“It’s been five days since Lucas died,” I say. “I hate it. He would have liked it here.”

“Lucas died doing a brave thing,” Ethan says. “I firmly believe that if he hadn’t done what he did, we would all be dead in that crummy little town.”

“Maybe so. I just… I don’t know. I thought things were going to be different. I thought we would survive this. I thought he and I were untouchable. He…he promised.”

“What did he promise?”

“I don’t know,” I say. I feel dumb for letting the words come out.

“You can tell me,” he says. “I’m not Gilbert.”

“How is he liking it?” I ask.

Ethan shrugs. “I haven’t really talked to him since we got here. I’m sure he’s glad to have his own place. That’s where he is all the time.” He clears his throat. “You uh…you were going to say…”

“Lucas promised me that we would survive this thing together. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” Ethan says.

“Those raiders made a liar out of him.”

“No they didn’t. He didn’t lie to you. In a way, he still survives…with you. You still love him. Use that love to help you carry on. Just because he passed, doesn’t mean you have to forget him. But most of all don’t be angry with him. And don’t let him die in vain by thinking of him as a liar or that he broke promises. He died to protect you. That is the highest honor he could give you.”

I don’t know what it is — his words, his look of sincerity — but for a brief second I see Ethan in a different light. More than a friend. I like the picture, but I’m having trouble believing it could be real. He is much like Lucas in the way that he seems to care for me without even knowing me that well, but he is a different person entirely.

“Thank you,” I say.

He shakes his head. “We’re a team. I don’t really know if Gilbert is on it, but with the town of Crestwood, our team just got a bit bigger.”

“I think Gilbert is on team Gilbert,” I say.

“He hasn’t left his apartment since he got here,” Ethan says. “I think you really spooked him the other day with your little vision thing.”

I was afraid the conversation would come to that.

“I know you probably don’t want to tell me about it,” he says. “I can respect that. But you have to admit, it seemed a little crazy.”

“What I saw was crazy.”

Ethan looks at me, his face still and his voice, quiet.

“I saw him die,” I say. “I had only expected to see a few minutes into the future, but I saw days apparently.”

“Were you and I there?”

“We were,” I say. “I don’t really want to talk about it.”

“But if you see it,” Ethan presses, “can’t you change it?”

“That’s what I tried with Hank,” I say. “But it didn’t work. I don’t know how it works. The only way I control it is by touching someone. That’s it. I can’t tell what I’m going to see. I can’t pick where in someone’s future. It just happens. Truth is, I don’t know if changing it is possible. I don’t know why this has happened to me. I wish it would go away.”

Ethan looks at me as though he is scared. “Are we at Crestwood when it happens?”

“No, but like I said, I don’t want to talk about it. I don’t know any more than that. It’s as much of a mystery to me as it is to you. I’m still trying to figure out a way to keep Gilbert alive.”

“Sorry I pressed you,” Ethan says sincerely. “It’s just crazy to me is all.”

“You and me both,” I say. “I didn’t ask for this. I’d like to know why it is happening at all. It makes me feel strange. Like an outsider.”

“Well, that’s why we have to keep it a secret,” Ethan says. “You’re no outsider to me, but this is the kind of thing that if word got out, people would flock to you to see what their future is. People used to pay for this kind of stuff.”

“I suppose I could get pretty rich off of it,” I say.

“Well, I don’t know about that. You might not make a good living giving people bad news all the time.”