Jason Morrow - Anywhere but Here

I tiptoe to the stairs as the third floor door opens. Each step down I take is a potential alarm system to Paxton. Which board creaked when I came up? My foot lands on the fourth one from the bottom floor and it seems to let out a much louder sound than the first time.

Paxton is near the second floor.

“Is someone there?” he calls out. He flips a switch in the stairwell and the light flickers on, blinding me for a moment.

I decide to make a run for it, skipping the last steps completely, jumping onto the landing at the bottom.

“Hey!” Paxton yells out, probably following closely behind. I run through the middle of the café and slide under the table. I crawl as quickly as I can and push the swinging door open. I look behind me as I run into the kitchen and catch a short glimpse of Paxton following. I run through the back door and scan both directions of the alley.

The dumpster.

I open the top lid and the smell of trash engulfs me. I try to hold my breath as I climb to the top and slide in, allowing the lid to fall slowly over me. It’s not even seconds before I hear the back door crashing open. All Paxton has to do is open the lid to the dumpster and I’m done for.

Was this a bad idea? Wouldn’t this be the first place he looked? I suppose not since I hear him shuffling up and down the alley before finally cursing and running back into the kitchen, probably to get a radio and a gun.

I wait a moment before daring to open the lid. I know I only have a minute or so before he calls someone and alerts the guards to be on the lookout. That gives me little time to run back to my apartment building.

I’m sure he didn’t see who I was. At least, I hope he didn’t. I close my eyes and focus my hearing toward the top of the building. The echoes on the walls indicate he’s running up the stairs. This is my chance.

I hop out of the dumpster and make my way to Main Street. I stay crouched as I run to the roundabout, and when I get there, I watch the guards on the wall to make sure they aren’t looking in my direction. Satisfied, I take a deep breath and sprint for my apartment building and don’t stop until I reach my home.

I’m almost wheezing by the time I close my apartment door and lock it behind me — as if doing so will keep me safe. I hurry to the window on the other side of the room and stare out at the guards on the wall. They are talking on their radios now.

“I don’t know who it was,” the voice of Paxton says over the radio. “I want you to do a sweep of the entire town.”

“Can you give a description?” one of the guards ask, but he is met with silence.

I smile, thinking Paxton probably only saw a shadow of me, never getting a good enough look to even tell that I am a woman.

“I know it was a woman, but I didn’t see her face,” Paxton says.

So much for that thought. But it doesn’t matter. There are plenty of women here in Crestwood. Sure, I might be one of the first people he questions because I’m newer, but that doesn’t mean he’ll find his precious journal.

I hold the book in my hands and sigh, hoping that I’ll find out something good enough for Gabe. But more than that I hope I don’t find anything too damning. I would like to stay here, after all. It would be a shame to find out Paxton was planning to kill everyone in Crestwood or something. Then I would feel obligated to leave.

My hand feels for the slick, grey metal of the pistol at my back and I pull it out in front of me. Nothing in this world, not the safety of walls, not the promise of protection, not the roof over my head, nor the food in my stomach, can give me peace of mind like a loaded gun in my grip.

Spending the entire next morning holed up in my dirty apartment going through Paxton’s journal feels like I’m in school again. I hate it.

The entries date back to the first meeting of the elders, and for the first hundred pages it makes no mention of any Shadowface. But then, things start to change. Dating back to just under a year ago, Paxton writes about a meeting where the elders talked about a supplier. He didn’t make mention of any name until a few pages later when an elder named Kenneth suggests requesting a truck from Shadowface. As I turn through the pages I see this more and more. Everything ranging from food, to weapons, to clothing. There seems to be no mention of him unless the elders want or need something. I flip through every page until I reach the most recent entry.

Shadowface, I think to myself. He’s just a supplier. I stick out my lower lip and nod, happy that I didn’t find out that Paxton is some axe murderer with a twisted plan to turn all his citizens into greyskins. I slip the journal under my mattress and I see the silver glint of the pistol I stole last night. I hesitate for a moment, wanting nothing more than to keep it by my side but I know I can’t. First, there’s the rule that no ordinary citizen is allowed to be armed. Second, it’s a nice pistol. It’s not the kind you just steal and show off to all your friends. It’s the kind an owner would recognize which is why it was doubly stupid for me to take it in the first place. I panicked last night. I saw it, so I took it — just like they took my gun.

My ears perk up at the sound of the building’s front door crashing open. “We’ll start at the top floor,” comes the voice of Gabe.

I sit up straight on the bed as the pounding of footsteps rush up to the top floor. The pit in my stomach is growing and I know they will come barging in here, looking for the journal. But it’s Gabe, right? He wouldn’t set me up like this. Would he?

I look down at the mattress and wonder if I should find a better spot to hide the gun and the journal. What if they find it on me? They’ll kick me out. I shake my head. The old rules of law don’t apply in this situation. For this offense, the rules will be different. I don’t know what kind of man Paxton is. For all I know he could have me executed for something like this. I curse and smash my hand against the mattress as the footsteps come closer to my door.

“You two get these rooms, I’ll get the one at the end,” Gabe says.

A few seconds later, he raps his knuckles on my door.

“Open up!” he shouts. I stand up and walk to the door. I unlock it and Gabe pushes through the entrance. I can’t help but jump back as he comes in. “Paxton’s furious,” he whispers to me.

“Does he know anything?” I ask.

“Where is it?” he says.

“I can’t give it to you, because he’ll know I took it!”

“Where is it?” he repeats.

“Under the mattress,” I say, looking down at the floor.

Two sets of footsteps come walking toward the door, and when I look up I see two large men who I recognize as patrolmen on the outer wall. One of them wears a sleeveless shirt like a moron, even though it’s cold outside, no doubt to show off his giant muscles. The other doesn’t seem quite as dumb, but still big and burly, with his beard falling to the top of his chest.

“Those two rooms are empty, boss,” beardy says. “No one is living there.”

“Boss?” I ask Gabe, unable to contain my grin.

He shakes his head and looks at the two guards. “You,” he points to beardy, “check in the bathroom. You check the couch, I’ll check the bed.”

“You got it,” sleeveless answers.

Gabe sighs and walks to the side of my bed. His hair is pulled back today and the bags under his eyes make it seem like he didn’t get much sleep last night. I wonder if I look the same. I didn’t sleep much at all: listening to Paxton bark out orders, listening to the guards talk about their theories of what might be going on. It actually made for quite an entertaining experience. The conversations ranged from Paxton seeing a ghost to the possibility of there being greyskins inside the town. But the most popular theory was that Paxton had slept so little that he had only thought he saw something. Of course, I’m sure by now they all know that a journal and gun were stolen, so those theories went out the window.