James Kunstler - World Made by Hand

“Now you’re talking like a lawyer,” Victor said.

“I am one,” Dale said.

“Too bad there’s no law anymore.”

“Of course there is.”

“It’s all pretend,” Ned Larmon said. “Where are the courts, then?”

“They’ll reconvene by and by,” Dale said. “When things settle down.”

“Things are about as settled as they’re going to get,” Todd Zucker said, and several of the men laughed ruefully because they knew exactly what he meant.

“I didn’t see any courts convene in the case of that Watling boy,” Cody said.

“We’ll get to that separately,” I said. “Let’s go back to this school deal. Maybe we can work something out. Maybe it’s a good thing no cash was involved. There was nothing to get mislaid—”

“Are you insinuating”

“Oh, shut up now, Dale,” Loren said.

“You all talk about how there’s no law, and you don’t even observe the order of the council chamber.”

We went around in that vein for quite a while. But finally we gave up gibing each other and I proposed a solution: the New Faithers would work in lieu of payment, and that work would consist of civic improvement projects, starting with repair to the town water system so the next time a house caught fire we might have a chance to put it out. I further proposed that Brother Jobe be appointed to the vacant post of public works director at a salary of one dollar a year. The trustees voted him into the job unanimously with Dale Murray abstaining.

Brother Jobe said he would accept the post and the financial arrangement and he would begin making an assessment of the water system and the town reservoir right away.

Dale Murray, as mayor and chair of the board of trustees then moved to adjourn the meeting.

“We’re not done,” I said. “I told you I had a list of particulars.”

“All right, all right,” Dale said. “Don’t get all touchy.”

We turned to the matter of Shawn Watling and the fact that nobody was doing anything about it. Stephen Bullock, the elected magistrate, hadn’t commenced an inquest. Heath Rucker hadn’t started even the most elementary investigation-I knew that for a fact because I was the only person at the scene besides Wayne Karp’s bunch, including Bunny Willman, and Heath had not even spoken to me about it. So I made a motion to begin by replacing the constaLle, Heath Rucker. The other trustees glanced around at each other, and that’s when it occurred to me that nobody else wanted the job, I suppose because nobody wanted to go up against Wayne, when it came down to it.

“I move formally to remove Rucker,” I said. “Second?”

Andy Pendergast seconded.

“Mr. Rucker’s not here to defend himself,” Dale Murray said.

“He isn’t charged with anything,” I said. “We’re just firing him.”

“And anyway, why isn’t he here?” Terry Einhorn said. “He’s required to be present at town board meetings, if I remember the charter right.”

“Probably off drunk somewhere,” Cody DeLong said.

“So, who’s going to replace him then?” Dale said. “Any nominations?”

“Is that a move to call for nominations?” Ned Larmon said.

“Yes it is.”

“Then say it,” Dale said.

“Okay, I make a motion for nominations to the post of town constable,” Cody said.

There was no rush to nominate anyone. You could hear birds twittering their evening songs outside the open windows.

“You can nominate yourselves,” I said. “If anyone wants to volunteer.”

More birds singing. A horsefly buzzed across the circle of chairs. Someone coughed.

“I’ll nominate you, Robert,” Todd Zucker said finally.

“I decline because of where I stand in the Watling case.”

“All right,” Jason LaBountie said, “then I nominate you for mayor.

That brought everybody up short, and a silence followed wide enough to drive a team of oxen through.

“That post is occupied,” Dale said eventually.

“We can vote you out, just like that good-for-nothing constable,” Jason said.

“There’s a different motion on the table.”

“Well, I move we suspend that motion and move on with my motion,” Jason said. “Anyone second?”

“I second,” Victor Gasparry said.

“I don’t know that you’re in order on that,” Dale said.

“I don’t give a damn,” Jason said. “Discussion?”

“Let’s vote him the hell out,” Rod Sauer said.

“Look at what’s become of our town under him,” Cody DeLong said.

“Point of order,” Dale said. “You are not following proper procedure here. Didn’t any of you bring the Robert’s Rules?”

“If proper procedure means so much to you, why didn’t you bring the damn Robert’s Rules?” Jason said.

“We’ve never had these disputes at town board,” Dale said.

“Maybe we should have,” Ned Larmon said.

“I call a vote on the motion to get rid of Mayor Dale Murray,” Todd Zucker said, “and replace him with Robert Earle.”

“Wait a minute,” I said. “How come nobody asked me if I want the job?”

“Sometimes duty just calls, son,” Brother Jobe said from the outer circle of the few nonvoting observers. He was grinning.

“You’re out of order, sir,” Dale Murray said.

“Those in favor of the motion to give Dale the boot and put Robert in, raise your hands,” Jason said.

“You can’t call the vote,” Dale said. “That’s the chair’s job.”

All the trustees except Dale raised their hands.

“The motion is carried,” Jason said. “You’re out, Dale. Robert’s the mayor now.”

“And the chair of this board,” Rod Sauer said.

“Congratulations, son,” Brother Jobe said, and everybody in the room except Dale Murray clapped their hands briefly. Terry Einhorn actually got up, walked across the circle, and made to shake my hand-the one that wasn’t bandaged up. I was flustered by this recognition from my peers, of course. But I also realized that somebody had to be responsible for things in town after years of apathy and paralysis, and that I was ready to try. I figured if I managed to accomplish the least thing it would be an improvement over the current situation.

“I guess you can always vote me out if you’re dissatisfied,” I said.

“You’re damn straight we can,” Ben Deaver said.

“All right, then, let’s get back to the business of this meeting,” I said. Meanwhile, Dale Murray made a big show of shoving his chair into the center of the circle and stalking out of the hall.

“Go easy on the corn liquor,” Ned Larmon said, as Dale clomped across the big room to the exit.

And that was how the gavel passed to me, except there wasn’t any gavel. By God, I thought, I could make one, though.

We went on with the meeting. Loren was nominated for the post of constable and the board elected him. I was surprised that he agreed to serve, considering all the rest of his duties around the community. We couldn’t agree what to do about the Shawn Watling case. Victor Gasparry wanted to convene a special court and haul Bunny Willman in-Andy Pendergast called it “a kangaroo court"-but anyway that meant going up to the trailer park, Karptown, and placing Willman under arrest, and that posed additional problems.

Andy brought up for discussion the related matter that Wayne Karp’s bunch had no legal right operating the former town landfill as their own private resource mine, and that we should investigate some means for getting it away from his control altogether and running the place as a public utility.

“Good luck with that one,” Victor said.

“My people could run it,” Brother Jobe said.

“How do we know you wouldn’t turn it into a racket for your own selves?” Jason LaBountie said.