Lev Rosen - Depth

“My dad—”

“Don’t be him.” It wasn’t so much an order as it was a warning. “Be better.”

Simone realized how close they were now, how she could feel the heat off Kluren’s body, almost see the circuits in her eyes, and she stepped backwards. She stroked the black cylinder in her hands and looked down at it. It was made of cheap plastic. It felt like if she squeezed it, it might crack and explode in her hands, sending ashes everywhere in a cloud.

When she looked back up, Kluren was gone. Simone told everyone it was a heart attack. Her dad hadn’t taken great care of himself. No one doubted it. They told her how sorry they were and offered to cook for her and take her in and make everything better. She smiled and shook her head. She was fine. Never trust anybody. Not even Dad.

There had been clouds on the horizon that day, and the water had been choppy. It had looked to Simone like the waves were reaching out to pull the ashes down, to sink them as low as they would go, to the blackest part of the water.

Her mother had never left her a note, but that didn’t matter much anymore. It didn’t even matter if what Kluren was implying was true or if when she met Simone at the recycling building that day, she’d been unsurprised. Relieved. However her mother had gone, she’d gone.

Simone turned and walked off Teddy. She tapped her earpiece and called Caroline.

“I hate my parents,” Caroline said, when she answered. Simone laughed at this and found she couldn’t stop. She laughed as she walked down a rickety bridge and the water reached up to grab her. “What’s so funny?” Caroline asked over her laughter, and Simone stopped.

“Nothing,” she said.

“You okay?” In the background, Simone could hear Caroline walking through City Hall Plaza, her footsteps on the solid wood, the fountain in the background. She pictured her there, staring up at the city, about to go into work after an awful morning, and still as poised and put together as a statue.

“Let’s have dinner. I want to tell you some things.” She stopped next to a large cruise ship and lit a cigarette.

“Okay,” Caroline said. “But not out. I’m sick of eating in public.”

“So come over. I’ll grab some food from one of the noodle carts or something.”

“Get the pad thai from Suzy’s,” Caroline said. “I’ll be by after work. I’ll complain about my parents some more.”

“Me too,” Simone said, exhaling smoke. It spread out into the air like vanishing ghosts.

“Okay, see you then.”

“Yeah,” Simone said. “And thanks.”

“For what?”

“For listening, I guess.”

“Sure,” Caroline said. “Later, stalker.” Caroline hung up. Simone stood where she was for a long moment. There were no other people in sight, and she could hear the waves underfoot and the way they hit the boat’s side. She could smell the salt and the vague gasoline smell of boats. She took another drag on her cigarette. There were a lot of bodies under her, their ashes piling up to make underwater trenches and caves. Tunnels, maybe. She smiled at that. Tunnels made of ash leading all the way back to the mainland. But she was still floating. She threw her cigarette into the water. Its burning red end went out immediately, like the final flash of lightning in a storm. She watched the cigarette bob there for a moment—just another bit of trash in the ocean. Then, she put her hands in her pockets and started walking home.

I owe so many people so many thanks for their help with this book—the first and foremost being my parents, for their incredible support and, as my dad is a big mystery fan and my mom loves sci-fi, for their inspiration. They both read this book multiple times and gave me such great feedback, too. I could not have done this without them and there are not enough ways to thank them for everything.

I pretty much wrote this book for my agent, Joy, and followed her lead on every revision and decision. She’s always pushing me in new directions and to try new things and I cannot thank her enough for all her love and support. This book would not exist without her.

My editor, Ron, has been totally amazing throughout this entire process, with a fantastic eye for refinement. He’s made this book so much stronger than it was when he got it, and he’s been funny and kind and wonderful to work with. Thank you, Ron, for being an awesome guy and an awesome editor. And thank you to the entire team at Regan Arts, especially Emi, Richard, Lynne, and, of course, Judith.

My readers! My amazing writing group and readers who are incredibly supportive and inspiring: Laura, Robin, Schmergel, Margel, Stella, Paula, Holly, Ryan, Rebecca, Adam, Angela, Leslie, and Sarah. They’ve all been vital to honing this book into what it is and I’m appreciative to all of them for taking the time to help me.

I also need to thank so many other people: Luke, for his thoughts and advice and helping out Joy when she was off having a baby. He really went above and beyond. My father-in-law, Mark, who provided me with stories, information, and some really disturbing photos from his time as a diver for the sheriff’s department. And Jens, my munitions expert, for talking me through all the gun stuff.

And Chris, for being Chris.

LEV AC ROSEN is the author of the critically acclaimed All Men of Genius and the middle grade novel Woundabout . Lev is originally from lower Manhattan, and now lives in even lower Manhattan, right at the edge of the water, with his husband and a very small cat. You can find him online at LevACRosen.com.

65 Bleecker Street

New York, NY 10012

Copyright © 2015 by Lev AC Rosen

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Regan Arts Subsidiary Rights Department, 65 Bleecker Street, New York, NY 10012.

First Regan Arts hardcover edition, April 2015.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014955529

ISBN 978-1-941393-07-9

ISBN 978-1-941393-80-2 (eBook)

Interior design by Kris Tobiassen of Matchbook Digital

Jacket design by Richard Ljoenes

Jacket art by Vladimir Krizan