Richelle Mead: Succubus Shadows

Again, I focused on Godiva. The man in the dream. Maybe it was Seth. Maybe it wasn’t. Maybe I could make it him. His love had been great enough to rescue me and then try to rescue himself. I realized now what had been bothering me. He was doing all of this—how could I do any less? All my life, I’d hidden from hard choices. I’d always found some compromise to avoid bad things, the results of which never really turned out that great. If anything, they’d become worse. My love for Seth was no less than his for me, but I hadn’t been willing to do the things that might hurt.

He’d told me there was no way the universe would let us stay apart. He was right—and this time, I would be the one who made sure we came together again. I wouldn’t abandon him.

I was moving toward the door, my coat and purse in hand, when Roman came home, carrying flowers. He took one look at me and offered a small bitter laugh that carried all the woe and resignation in the world. The bouquet sagged in his hands.

“You’re going to Seth.”

“How did you know?”

“Because…because you’re shining. Because you look like you’ve found all the answers in the universe.”

“I don’t know about that,” I said. “But I’ve found some kind of answer. He’s risked so much for me…. We found each other across all the other souls in the world….” I trailed off, feeling horrible. My decision about Seth burned brightly in me, but Roman’s face…there seemed to be nothing in this world that didn’t end up causing someone pain. “I was wrong to abandon him. Especially now.”

“Sounds like you better go to him,” said Roman at last.

“Roman—”

He shook his head. “Go.”

I went.

I hadn’t been to Seth’s condo in so long, not in the flesh. Walking up to the door, a barrage of memories flooded me, particularly that first night I’d stayed over when he had taken care of me….

It wasn’t that late, but when he opened the door, there was a scattered, mussed look to him that made me think he’d been sleeping. Or maybe he’d just been too consumed by writing to properly groom. It happened sometimes when he got caught up with the worlds in his mind.

From the look on his face, it was clear he was in this world now. I don’t think he’d believed he’d see me for a very long time. I wondered if I was still shining the way Roman had claimed I was because Seth’s eyes regarded me with more than just surprise. There was wonder and awe there. I’d only driven across town, made one impulse decision to come here, but we might as well have been meeting across time and space again.

“Georgina,” he breathed. “What are you—”

I didn’t let him finish. I threw myself into his arms and kissed him.

And this time, I didn’t pull back.

Not even when I felt his life energy come into me. I kept going.

He pulled me into his condo, deftly kicking the door shut with his foot. His arms gripped me close, and we never broke the kiss as we stumbled through the living room and into his bedroom. We fell onto the bed, removing each other’s clothing with practiced ease, almost like Mexico had just been the warm-up. My hands ran over the lean muscles of his chest, the scent of his skin drowning me. Letting down all restraint made me feel that much giddier—as did the sweet, glorious taste of his soul wrapping around me.

Was it my imagination, or was it a little purer than it had been in Mexico? Had one decision to come back and face his fears cleaned that darkness even a little? I didn’t know for sure, and even if it wasn’t perfect, the energy still felt amazing.

“Why?” he asked at last. His thoughts and feelings were coming through with the energy, and I’d wondered when he’d bring up the question warring with his desire. His hands continued touching me the whole time, one sliding up between my thighs. “Why now?”

I arched my hips against his, crying out softly as his fingers slid into me. His mouth crushed mine, killing off my response for a moment. “Because I’m tired of fighting it. You’re right. We’re going to keep coming back to each other over and over….” My eloquent speech was put on hold again when his mouth moved down to my breast, letting his tongue toy with my nipple. “You’ve said before you’ll risk the shortening of your life…. I’ll risk your mortality. I’ll risk it all to be with you…to help you. If you still want it…”

“Yes,” he breathed against my flesh. “Yes.”

“I won’t leave you alone through this,” I murmured. “And I don’t want to be alone either….”

Those were my last coherent words. He gently rolled himself onto me and slid his hands up my arms so that they could hold my wrists against the bed. I spread my legs, welcoming his body as it pushed into mine. Just like the first time we’d had sex, there was one perfect moment—one moment of astonishing, total completion. Like we’d found something we’d lost and were afraid we’d lose it again if we moved.

Then, the metaphysical sentiment was gone, replaced by the driving desire of our bodies. He thrust into me, gently at first, then steadily increased the strength. I stared at him wide-eyed, taking in every feature, refusing to miss one instant of this experience. And believe me, I was getting quite the experience. Aside from the ecstasy of our bodies moving together, I still had his energy and feelings coming in. Knowing what he was thinking as we made love added a whole new dimension to it all. Sometimes with men it would be coherent thoughts. With him, it was just pure emotion. Love and trust and longing…feelings so strong that he was willing to risk anything for them, anything to be with me. Even his life.

My body burned against his, growing increasingly turned on by the rapture and love on his face juxtaposed with the fierceness of the way he held me and kept pushing into me. Everything grew more intense—both physically and spiritually—and my body finally reached its breaking point. I came with a loud cry and thrashed against him, wanting to free my arms and wrap them around him. He continued holding me until he came, which didn’t take much longer. The full burst of his soul’s energy flooded me with his orgasm, and I heard myself moaning again at the joy of it. He thrust in a few more times, the motions growing slower and longer as his body took its release. The grip on my wrists loosened, and he shifted over to his side, taking me with him. I pressed against his chest, feeling the racing of his heart and sweat on his skin.

My own heart was pounding too as my body reveled in its own satiation. Every part of me still tingled, and though there was really no way to get closer, I tried anyway. I wanted as much skin to touch as possible. I wanted as much of him blending into me as possible. He brushed the hair from my face and rained kisses down upon my forehead.

“So that’s the full succubus effect, huh?”

“Yup.”

“Worth it,” he murmured. Already, I could see the loss of energy taking its toll. “Whatever the cost, worth it.”

I refused to allow myself to ponder that cost. Making love in the full throes of my succubus abilities might have added a powerful element, but it had undoubtedly taken years off his life. It wasn’t for me to decide if it had been worth it, though. He’d made this choice.

Said choice was exhausting him, and I knew he’d soon sleep for a very long time as his body and soul recovered their losses. I shifted so that we changed positions, bringing his head to lie against my breasts.

“Rest,” I said, wrapping my arms around him.

He tilted his head, looking up at me with warm, sleepy eyes. “Don’t want to sleep yet…I want to stay with you. Will you be here in the morning this time?”