Simon Green - The Man with the Golden Torc

"I’m a witch," Molly said slowly, holding my eyes with hers. "I see things, and remember things, that others can’t. I remember lying on that floor, dying…and then you rewrote history, changed the world itself, just to save me. And risked your own life doing it. You couldn’t have been sure the armour would cover you in time to save you from their guns. Why would you do that, risk that, to save me?"

"Because I had to," I said.

"Eddie…" she said.

"Molly…" I said.

"Oh, God," said Molly. "Are we having a romantic moment?"

We looked at each other; and it would be hard to say which of us was more appalled at the thought.

"I’ve made a decision," I said to Molly.

"Good for you," said Molly.

"I’ve decided I don’t want to meet any more rogues," I said.

"Not if they’re going to be like the ones I’ve already met. I mean, one crazy, one shut-in, and one moral cripple? Is that the kind of future I’ve got to look forward to if by some miracle I survive the next few days?"

"Probably," said Molly. "If you give up, like they did. They were all afraid to do anything that mattered. How about you?"

"I’m going home," I said. And just like that, I was certain. "It’s all that’s left to me. I’m going back to the Hall, and the library, and my backstabbing family. Because they’re the only ones I can be sure have the answers I need."

"Good for you!" said Molly. "I’m coming too!"

"No, you’re bloody not," I said. "This is going to be difficult enough without having to look after you as well."

"I do not need looking after," said Molly, her face clouding up dangerously.

"You could die in a hundred ways just trying to get onto the Hall’s grounds," I said, trying hard to sound reasonable. "My family is protected in ways even I don’t like to think about sometimes."

"If you think I’m going to miss out on an opportunity to stick it to the Droods where they live, you’ve got another think coming. I’ve dreamed of revenge like this! Usually after eating cheese. I’m going with you, and you can’t stop me!"

"Will you please keep the noise down?" growled Janissary Jane. She sat up slowly, wincing and groaning, and then peered blearily about her, taking in the unconscious Manifest Destiny soldiers piled up around her. "Must have been a hell of a party…Shaman? That you? Where the hell am I? And what have I been doing…? It feels like someone took a dump in my head."

"You were possessed by Archie Leech," I said, helping her to her feet.

"I drove his spirit out of your body, and then destroyed it. He won’t be coming back. Ever."

"Leech? That rat turd? He must have sneaked in while my defences were down. Hold everything; you destroyed him? No offence, Shaman—I mean, well done and thanks for everything and all that—but I never really saw you as being in Archie Leech’s league."

"Yeah, well, that’s because he isn’t Shaman Bond," said Molly. "He’s been fooling us all for years with that mild-mannered reporter shit."

"Molly? You’re here too?" Janissary Jane squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head slowly. It didn’t seem to help. "Well, if he isn’t Shaman Bond, who the hell is he?"

"There’s no easy way to say this," I said. "I’m a Drood, Jane. Eddie Drood, field agent, at your service. Only I’m not an agent for the family anymore. They made me rogue, so I’m on the run from everyone."

"I go to fight in the hell dimensions for one lousy month, and the whole world stops making sense while I’m gone." Janissary Jane studied me suspiciously. "You’re a Drood, Shaman? You? Bloody good disguise…Eddie. You two-faced little shit. Wait a minute; I’m still catching up here. You’re a rogue? What did you do?"

"I don’t know. But my family wants me dead. That’s why Archie came after me." I thought it best to keep the explanations simple for the moment. And I didn’t think I’d tell her that Archie had targeted her specifically just to get back at me. I could do that later. From a safe distance.

"At least you killed the bastard," Janissary Jane growled, running her hands over herself vaguely, as though checking for signs of recent interference. "I’ll bet you didn’t even take the time to torture him properly first, did you? No; I thought not. So, Eddie; why are we all here, who are all those sleeping beauties, and why are you hanging out with the infamous Molly Metcalf?"

"If I hear one more person use that word…" Molly said ominously.

"You mutilate a few cattle, abduct a few aliens, and you get a reputation…"

"Let us please not go there," I said quickly. "Jane, Molly and I are working together for the moment. On matters of mutual interest."

"Like what?" said Janissary Jane. "What could you two possibly have in common?"

"We’re going back to his old family home to take names and kick arse," Molly said happily. "And possibly burn the place to the ground while we’re at it."

"You’re not much of a one for keeping secrets, are you?" I said.

"You want to break into the Hall?" said Janissary Jane. "Better you than me. I’ve been to hell and back so many times they made me up a special visa, and I still wouldn’t go anywhere near the Hall. You couldn’t bust through their defences with a tactical nuke. The Chinese tried, in ’sixty-four."

"Nineteen sixty-five, actually," I said.

"Shut up, Eddie; I’m on a roll," said Janissary Jane. "The point is, the Hall has serious defences. A hundred different ways to kill your intruder, all of them quite spectacularly vicious and nasty."

"Indeed," I said. "Spot on, in fact."

"So what you need," said Janissary Jane, "is a skeleton key."

Molly and I looked at each other. "What?" I said.

"You need something to get you through the Hall’s defences without them kicking off on you. Something that’ll let you sneak through."

"No, hold everything," I said. "There’s no such thing. The whole point to my family’s many and varied protections is that there are no weak points, no possibilities for overrides. My family has spent generations designing and improving on their defences, including multiple redundancies and a quite appalling attention to increasingly nasty details. It has to be that way, or our enemies would have wiped us all out long ago. We have a lot of enemies."

And then I broke off as a new wave of pain shot through me. It stabbed through my shoulder as though I’d just been shot again, a pain so bad it made me cry out despite myself, and then it slammed down through the whole of my left side. It hurt so bad I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think. I staggered and would have fallen if Molly and Janissary Jane hadn’t been there to grab me from both sides.

"Shaman? What is it? Molly, what’s wrong with him?"

"Elf lord shot him with an arrow made of strange matter," said Molly.

"The stuff’s still in his system, poisoning him. Eddie, can you hear me? Eddie?"

"I’m all right," I said, or thought I said.

"Jesus, he looks bad," said Janissary Jane. "Should we get him to a healer? I know some good people, ask no questions…"

"It wouldn’t help," Molly said flatly.

"Oh," Janissary Jane said quietly. "Like that, is it?" And after a moment, she said, "Bloody elves. Vicious little turds. Okay, strange matter…Nasty stuff, yes; other dimensional…Really bad mojo, when you can get your hands on it, which mostly you can’t. Never dealt with the stuff myself, but I know a man who has. Word is, he can even supply it direct from the source on occasion."

I forced strength back into my legs until they straightened and could hold me up again, and then I forced my head up to look at Janissary Jane. "Who?" I said.