Cassandra Clare - City of Ashes

"He wasn't human," said Valentine, in his silky voice. "He had become a monster. You just couldn't see it, Clarissa, because it wore the face of a friend."

"He wasn't a monster." She moved a little closer to the Sword. It looked huge, heavy. She wondered if she could lift it—and even if she could, could she swing it? "He was still Simon."

"Don't think I'm not sympathetic to your situation," said Valentine. He stood unmoving in the single shaft of light that came down from the trapdoor in the ceiling. "It was the same for me when Lucian was bitten."

"He told me," she spat at him. "You gave him a dagger and told him to kill himself."

"That was a mistake," said Valentine.

"At least you admit it—"

"I should have killed him myself. It would have showed that I cared."

Clary shook her head. "But you didn't. You've never cared about anyone. Not even my mother. Not even Jace. They were just things that belonged to you."

"But isn't that what love is, Clarissa? Ownership? 'I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine,' as the Song of Songs goes."

"No. And don't quote the Bible at me. I don't think you get it." She was standing very near to the locker now, the hilt of the Sword within reaching distance. Her fingers were wet with sweat and she dried them surreptitiously on her jeans. "It's not just that someone belongs to you, it's that you give yourself to them. I doubt you've ever given anything to anyone. Except maybe nightmares."

"To give yourself to someone?" The thin smile didn't waver. "As you've given yourself to Jonathan?"

Her hand, which had been lifting toward the Sword, spasmed into a fist. She pulled it back against her chest, staring at him unbelievingly. " What ?"

"You think I haven't seen the way you two look at each other? The way he says your name? You may not think I can feel, but that doesn't mean I can't see feelings in others." Valentine's tone was cool, every word a sliver of ice stabbing into her ears. "I suppose we have only ourselves to blame, your mother and I; having kept you two apart so long, you never developed the revulsion toward each other that would be more natural between siblings."

"I don't know what you mean." Clary's teeth were chattering.

"I think I make myself plain enough." He had moved out of the light. His face was a study in shadow. "I saw Jonathan after he faced the fear demon, you know. It showed itself to him as you. That told me all I needed to know. The greatest fear in Jonathan's life is the love he feels for his sister."

"I don't do what I'm told," said Jace. "But I might do what you want if you ask me nicely."

The Inquisitor looked as if she wanted to roll her eyes but had forgotten how. "I need to talk to you."

Jace stared at the Inquisitor. "Now?"

She put a hand on his arm. "Now."

"You're insane." Jace looked down the length of the ship. It looked like a Bosch painting of hell. The darkness was full of demons: lumbering, howling, squawking, and slashing out with claws and teeth. Nephilim darted back and forth, their weapons bright in the shadows. Jace could see already that there weren't enough Shadowhunters. Not nearly enough. "There's no way—we're in the middle of a battle—"

The Inquisitor's bony grip was surprisingly strong. " Now ." She pushed him, and he took a step back, too surprised to do anything else, and then another, until they were standing in the recess of a wall. She let go of Jace and felt in the folds of her dark cloak, drawing forth two seraph blades. She whispered their names, and then several words Jace didn't know, and flung them at the deck, one on either side of him. They stuck, points down, and a single blue-white sheet of light sprang up from them, walling Jace and the Inquisitor off from the rest of the ship.

"Are you locking me up again?" Jace demanded, staring at the Inquisitor in disbelief.

"This isn't a Malachi Configuration. You can get out of it if you want." Her thin hands clasped each other tightly. "Jonathan—"

"You mean Jace." He could no longer see the battle past the wall of white light, but he could still hear the sounds of it, the screams and the howling of the demons. If he turned his head, he could just catch a glimpse of a small section of ocean, sparkling with light like diamonds scattered over the surface of a mirror. There were about a dozen boats down there, the sleek, multi-hulled trimarans used on the lakes in Idris. Shadowhunter boats. "What are you doing here, Inquisitor? Why did you come?"

"You were right," she said. "About Valentine. He wouldn't make the trade."

"He told you to let me die." Jace felt suddenly light-headed.

"The moment he refused, of course, I called the Conclave together and brought them here. I—I owe you and your family an apology."

"Noted," said Jace. He hated apologies. "Alec and Isabelle? Are they here? They won't be punished for helping me?"

"They're here, and no, they won't be punished." She was still staring at him, eyes searching. "I can't understand Valentine," she said. "For a father to throw away the life of his child, his only son—"

"Yeah," said Jace. His head ached and he wished she would shut up, or that a demon would attack them. "It's a conundrum, all right."

"Unless…"

Now he looked at her in surprise. "Unless what?"

She jabbed a finger at his shoulder. "When did you get that?"

Jace looked down and saw that the spider demon's poison had eaten a hole in his shirt, leaving a good deal of his left shoulder bare. "The shirt? At Macy's Winter sale."

"The scar . This scar, here on your shoulder."

"Oh, that." Jace wondered at the intensity of her gaze. "I'm not sure. Something that happened when I was very young, my father said. An accident of some kind. Why?"

Breath hissed through the Inquisitor's teeth. "It can't be," she murmured. " You can't be—"

"I can't be what?"

There was a note of uncertainty in the Inquisitor's voice. "All those years," she said, "when you were growing up—you truly thought you were Michael Wayland's son—?"

Sharp fury went through Jace, made all the more painful by the tiny stab of disappointment that accompanied it. "By the Angel ," he spat, "you dragged me off here in the middle of battle just to ask me the same goddamned questions again? You didn't believe me the first time and you still don't believe me. You'll never believe me, despite everything that's happened, even though everything I told you was the truth ." He jabbed a finger toward whatever was happening on the other side of the wall of light. "I should be out there fighting. Why are you keeping me here? So after this is all over, if any of us are still even alive, you can go to the Clave and tell them I wouldn't fight on your side against my father? Nice try."

She had gone even paler than he'd thought possible. "Jonathan, that's not what I—"

" My name is Jace !" he shouted. The Inquisitor flinched, her mouth half-open, as if she were still about to say something. Jace didn't want to hear it. He stalked past her, nearly knocking her to the side, and kicked at one of the seraph blades in the deck. It toppled over and the wall of light vanished.

Beyond it was chaos. Dark shapes hurtled to and fro on deck, demons clambered over crumpled bodies, and the air was full of smoke and screaming. He strained to see anyone he knew in the mêlée. Where was Alec? Isabelle?

"Jace!" The Inquisitor hurried after him, her face pulled tight with fear. "Jace, you don't have a weapon, at least take—"

She broke off as a demon loomed up out of the darkness in front of Jace like an iceberg off the bow of a ship. It wasn't one he'd seen before tonight; this one had the wrinkled face and agile hands of a huge monkey, but the long, barbed tail of a scorpion. Its eyes were rolling and yellow. It hissed at him through broken needle teeth. Before Jace could duck, its tail shot forward with the speed of a striking cobra. He saw the needle tip whipping toward his face—