Richelle Mead - Iron Crowned

It was something I’d figured out recently. Dorian had been an advocate of using the Iron Crown to scare other monarchs, but the thing was, now that we weren’t together anymore, he had to realize it could be used against him too. I actually hadn’t had to give in to his “spoils of war” demands. That had been a kindness on my part, and he knew it. I didn’t have to fear Dorian. I no longer needed him.

“Very well,” Shaya replied. Her tone was obedient, but I knew she dreaded that letter. She’d never lost her devotion to him, and I was forcing her to split her loyalties. “But we do need someone to manage the Rowan Land … unless you’re going to do it personally.”

“No,” I said swiftly, not that I needed to. She’d already known I had no interest in it. “Do you have someone in mind?”

“Yes…. Me.”

I wasn’t exactly surprised that she’d step up to the task. I was surprised, however, that she didn’t look particularly upset about it. Maybe she relished the challenge.

“I’m cool with that,” I said. “Hell, after what you did around here, I know you can get Rowan into shape. But … who’s going to run things here?”

“I was thinking Nia could.”

“Nia?” I asked, startled. “My hairstylist?”

Shaya crooked me a grin. “What do you think she does when you’re not around? She’s been helping me and learning…. I think she’d do very well. There’d be others to assist her, and, of course, she could always contact me.”

It was still an unexpected choice, but Shaya seemed confident. And, I supposed, we’d gotten the Thorn Land into good enough shape that it now functioned pretty smoothly.

“Okay,” I said at last. “Let’s make it happen. When do you plan on moving?”

“Today,” she said. “I’ll go when you go. My things are packed.”

I couldn’t help laughing. “You knew I’d agree. And you knew I’d refuse Dorian.”

Shaya put on her primmest look, but her eyes sparkled. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

I walked the Thorn Land before leaving, long enough to reassure the land I was there and boost the morale of the soldiers guarding my keep. Not that they needed it. We were victorious, and they were still celebrating. I’d donned my gold crown for the trip to the Rowan Land, and my men regarded me with adoration, calling out cheers for their brave, all-powerful queen. What would they do if they knew? I wondered. What would they do if they knew I was carrying a potential warlord? Somehow, it wasn’t much of a mystery. They would cheer more. They would worship me and revel in the chance to extend our rule.

It made me eager to go to the Rowan Land, where I was feared rather than adored. Of course, I didn’t know if that was any better. If those people knew I was carrying Storm King’s grandchild, it would simply intensify their fear and convince them more than ever that they were under the control of a tyrant queen. Kiyo was right, I realized. No one in the Otherworld could know about my pregnancy. Any reaction it drew would be a powerful one. The sooner I could leave, the better.

Borrowed soldiers from the Thorn Land still made up the bulk of the guard at Katrice’s former castle, and their expressions mirrored those of their colleagues back home. I played the part, smiling and walking among them confidently, not daring to show the fear and uncertainty I felt. Like the Thorn Land’s, the Rowan Land’s energy buzzed around me. Only I felt it, of course, but once, when I paused and talked to a guard for several minutes, I saw a small red flower growing where I’d stood. No one noticed, and I hastily headed for the castle, figuring nothing would sprout out of stone walls.

Rurik greeted us happily, having already known about Shaya’s new position. As we all converged, I saw something flash between them, something that surprised me. Affection. More than friendly affection. It was then that I also noticed a bracelet Shaya wore, made of emeralds and pearls. I’d seen it before. Girard had been working on it when I first met Imanuelle. It was the piece Rurik had commissioned. I tried not to gape as the truth hit me. Shaya and Rurik. They had a relationship going on, some romance, probably one that had been building right before me that I’d been too oblivious to notice. That was why she hadn’t minded taking on stewardship of a kingdom conquered through unorthodox means.

No one else seemed to notice—or maybe everyone already knew about them—but as I stood there and listened to more debriefings, I felt a pang in my chest. It was like Tim and Lara—and not because both couples were so bizarrely matched. No, the similarities came in that it was so easy for all of them. Just fall in love and go with it. No political machinations and motives. No world-altering prophecies to muck things up. I’d untangled myself from Dorian’s scheming—and not without a fair amount of heartache—but things with Kiyo now were irrevocably altered. No matter how my pregnancy panned out, even if it had as happy an ending as it could, I knew things between him and me would never be the same. I would never have an easy relationship.

Queasiness welled up in me, and I didn’t bother trying to figure out which of the myriad reasons could be causing it. I leaned against the wall as Rurik continued speaking about troop placement. Even though it wasn’t part of the land, the wall and castle’s foundation touched the land, and I felt that magic warm and comfort me. I took a deep breath. I could do this. Everything would be all right, just as I’d told Kiyo. I’d know my child’s gender soon. Then I’d know what to do.

My intention had been to stay around longer and make sure Shaya was settled in, but I soon decided I needed to get back. The others looked like they would have liked me to stay a little longer too, but they were also used to my weird—or as they considered them, “human”—ways. I assured them all that I had the utmost faith in them, reminded Shaya to rebuke Dorian, and then headed back to Tucson as soon as I could.

When I arrived home and analyzed how I’d been feeling today, it occurred to me that the transitions from world to world were making me sick. Transitioning wasn’t an easy feat in general; some couldn’t even do it. I’d grown adept at it, but now, it took its toll, even with the help of a gateway. I understood enough about pregnancy to know these annoying symptoms only lasted for a short time, but that didn’t negate their annoyance. I didn’t want anything slowing me down. I didn’t want to be hampered. My body was turning against me, and Kiyo’s urging just to end the pregnancy began to seem like a better and better idea. What did gender matter? I wasn’t ready for this.

He was relieved to see me back early and wrapped me up in another big embrace. “Everything’s okay?” he asked in a low voice. “Nobody found out?”

I shook my head. “No. And I’m not going back until … until this is settled. I’m also starting to think …”

“What?” he prompted.

“That you were right. That gender doesn’t matter. The test is so close, though … I’ll still do it. But. Well. Like I said, it doesn’t matter.”

Relief flooded his features. “I’m glad, Eug. It’s the right thing to do.” He hugged me again, and the hug was filled with more intensity. “You can always cancel the test.”

“No, I’ll do it. Especially after the fit I threw with my poor doctor.”

“I wish I could go with you,” he said wistfully. “But I’m not sure I can. I’m taking a couple of work shifts.”

Are you? Or are you running off to Maiwenn?

“It’s fine,” I said. “You wouldn’t be able to find out anything that day anyway.”

“But you’ll let me know the moment you know?” he asked, staring at me hard.