Richelle Mead - Iron Crowned

“No,” he said wearily. “But there are potions. Maiwenn could help. Along with healing, she can work all sorts of other medical magic.”

“I’m sure she can.” I couldn’t hide the bitterness in my voice. “And I’m sure she’d be more than happy to.”

“Eugenie—”

“Look,” I interrupted. “Here’s how it is. I don’t like your attitude. I don’t like you dictating this to me like I’m stupid or something. I know the consequences, okay? And you know where I stand on the prophecy. But I just have to know what exactly is in me first. Two days. We just wait two days for the test.”

“And then how long until the results?” he asked. “More time passes. Every day is dangerous.”

“But what if it’s a girl?” This came from Jasmine. Both Kiyo and I turned to her. “What if Eugenie can have it? You’re always going on and on about how awesome Luisa is. Wouldn’t you want another one—especially with, like, your actual—sort of—girlfriend?”

“It’s not—” Kiyo bit off his words and turned back to me. Those dark eyes studied me, and I felt my anger diffuse as they softened. I felt his love and knew all of this was coming from panic, his fears about the prophecy finally coming true. “Two days,” he said at last.

“Two days,” I repeated. “And then I’ll do the right thing.” I wasn’t exactly sure what the “right thing” would be if I was having a girl, seeing as motherhood still didn’t really jump out at me. But that didn’t matter right now. What mattered was that I had the choice.

Then, abruptly and without warning, Kiyo wrapped his arms around me, crushing me to his chest. “I love you,” he said, voice shaking. It was the first time he’d spoken those words since we’d gotten back together, and they tore something inside of me. “But I’m just afraid.”

“I am too,” I said, feeling tears spring into my eyes. Fucking hormones. “Everything’ll be okay.”

When he released me, I finally really comprehended that Jasmine had witnessed all of this. The dramatic factor had probably trumped anything she could find on TV. Her face was a blank mask now, which made me uneasy. What was she thinking about all this? For so long, she’d wanted to be the one to have the heir. I supposed she should be all for an abortion. Yet … maybe she was so keen on our father’s prophecy that she didn’t care who had his grandson, so long as she could ride the power with us.

“I need you to stay with Jasmine tomorrow,” I told Kiyo later, when we were lying in bed. “I wish she hadn’t found out about this. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I’m worried she’ll do something with the information. I could have Volusian watch her like he is now …” I usually summoned my minion for night watches. “… But I’d feel better with you there.”

Kiyo drew the covers up around us. “Where are you going?”

“Where do you think?”

He groaned. “Eugenie, you can’t go back there until this mess is settled. If they find out—if anyone finds out—well. All hell will break loose, from those who are for the prophecy and those who are against it.”

“I have to,” I said. “I realize now that most of my being sick is because … well, you know. But being apart from those lands is affecting me too. I just need to check in.” No more full-fledged meditation sessions, though. I couldn’t risk any more telltale signs of my pregnancy from that intense communion. I’d just do the bare minimum required. “And not just with the lands’ magic. I need to keep an eye on the Rowan Land’s transition.”

I feared his reaction, particularly after his earlier outburst. Instead, he brushed a kiss to my lips. “Be careful. Be quick.”

“I will.” I pushed my lips back, kissing him harder. I moved my body closer to his, wrapping our legs together. I was terrified of what was happening, terrified of what I might be carrying. But now, with Kiyo on my side, I felt safe. We would get through this together, and I suddenly wanted to connect with him and feel his love around me.

He responded instantly to the kiss, one of his hands tipping my head back in order to consume more of my lips. His other hand gripped my upper arm, nails lightly scratching my skin as animal lust began to take over. Then, abruptly, he stopped and pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” I asked. I started to say he didn’t have to worry about getting me pregnant, but that joke seemed kind of inappropriate.

“Nothing … I’m just … I’m just tired.” He kissed me again, but this time it was on my cheek. “It’s been a long day. Just not up for it tonight … even though you’re as sexy as always.”

The lightness in those last words seemed forced, and I was glad he couldn’t see my frown in the darkness. I had just been rejected because … because why? Having sex during pregnancy wasn’t harmful, I knew that much. Was I repulsive? Was the thought that I was carrying Storm King’s heir putting him off? Whatever the reason, I didn’t buy that he “wasn’t up for it.” We’d been pressed hip to hip moments ago, and his body had most certainly been up for it.

A sexless night was the least of my problems, and although neither of us spoke, I knew he slept as badly as I did. We tossed and turned, our movements as disturbing to each other as our individual worries. We both had bloodshot eyes when we woke.

I headed off to the Otherworld as soon as I could after breakfast—well, after what passed as breakfast for me. My appetite was still low. Jasmine wasn’t happy when I denied her request to come with me, but Kiyo and Volusian’s presence was too daunting for her to put up much of a fight.

I felt the Thorn Land’s welcoming energy when I crossed over, but thankfully, it revealed nothing about my maternal state. My staff was equally happy to see me, particularly Shaya, who looked like she’d thought I wasn’t ever going to return. It wasn’t an entirely unwarranted fear. She and I sat alone in one of the parlors while she updated me on the situation.

“Rurik feels the Rowan Land is stable enough to move in a governing body. There’s still some unrest, and he’ll stay on for a while, but most have accepted your rule. It’s the way things go. He’s also culled the Rowan military and feels you can trust who’s left.”

I tried not to grimace at that, wondering what his “culling” had entailed. “And Katrice and Cassius?”

She shrugged. “Still imprisoned. Awaiting your verdict.”

“I don’t really want to do anything with them,” I admitted. “I don’t know what to do with them.”

“Honestly? With Katrice? You could set her free, and it wouldn’t matter. Stripping the land from her stripped most of her magic. Her reason to live. She’s harmless. Without hope. But Cassius …” Shaya frowned. “He’s dangerous. He can’t wrestle the land from you, but he’s got enough power to make trouble. Dorian’s already written and advised execution.”

I scoffed. “I’m sure he has.”

“Dorian’s also provided a list of people he’d like to see installed in the Rowan Land. We settled the resources split, but he feels he deserves a controlling interest in your rule there.”

“A ‘controlling interest?’ This isn’t a corporation!” I exclaimed. “Write him and make it very, very clear that his help isn’t needed over there. It isn’t wanted. He has no right to it. Tell him all of that.”

Shaya hesitated, fretfully toying with one of her black braids. “No matter how diplomatically I word that … well, the antagonism will still come through. It’ll anger him.”

“Good,” I retorted. Dorian was a safe target for my churning emotions at the moment, and God knew I needed some sort of outlet. “Let him be angry or pout or whatever. I’m pretty sure he isn’t going to declare war on me.”