Seanan McGuire - An Artificial Night

But they didn’t. The footsteps faded, leaving me alone with the frantic beating of my heart. The flame dwindled to normal, calming a lot more quickly than my nerves. “What did you expect me to do, Luidaeg?” I muttered. “Walk up and take them away from him?” I could still see Blind Michael when I closed my eyes, tall and vast against the sky. He was willing to be my god. All I had to do was let go of the candle and let him in.

No way in hell.

He was blind but saw everything in his lands—everything but me. He wouldn’t have agreed to my little game if he didn’t have to, because victory is always better than playing fair. He couldn’t see me, he couldn’t hold me, and so I was almost safe. But why was I so special? Why should a candle matter so much? I paused, reviewing. The Luidaeg gave me the candle and sent me into his lands. She said I could get there and back by the light of a candle.

Of course: we were in a child’s land, playing by children’s rules. Blind Michael would catch me if he could, because that was how the game worked, but he couldn’t stop me or see me as long as I kept my candle burning. That would make the game unfair.

“Just great,” I said. I was trapped in the realm of a mad Firstborn who obeyed the laws of children’s tales, and my only hope for escape was pinned on a candle flame. It hadn’t been able to hide Raj from the Riders, and I wasn’t counting on it to be able to hide any of the other children, either. The Luidaeg and I were going to have words when I got home.

And then there was the dream. I’ve always been a vivid dreamer, but this was different. It felt almost real, and it felt like it was important. Like it was something I needed to remember. Not that I could have forgotten the look in Karen’s eyes, even if I wanted to.

My thoughts distracted me enough that I didn’t hear the rustling until something grabbed my shoulder. That’s the kind of mistake you only get to make once, because afterward, you’re generally dead. I whirled as far as the bush allowed, ignoring the thorns raking my cheek as I pulled back my free hand to strike my attacker. Whatever it was might be disoriented enough by prey that fought back for me to get out of the brambles and run.

I started to swing and froze, staring. Quentin stared back. The brambles had forced him to his hands and knees. Mud was caked on his face and hair, making him look more like an extra from Lord of the Flies than a well-groomed courtier. Spike was on his shoulder, looking unperturbed by the situation. I guess when you’re made of thorns, a few more don’t hurt.

“Quentin.” I slowly lowered my hand. Spike gave me a wounded look, and I added, “Spike. What are you two doing here?”

It took Quentin a moment to find his voice. He just gaped, still staring, before he stammered, “T-Toby?”

“In the flesh.” I glanced down at myself and grimaced. “So to speak. How the hell did you get here?” Don’t you know you’re going to get yourself killed? Did you think for a second before you did whatever it took to follow me?

Idiots. Idiots, children, and heroes.

“I—the Luidaeg said you’d be here. She told me to look for the candlelight.” He pointed to my candle. “But I didn’t think …”

“Yeah, it’s a little weird from this side, too. I ask again, what are you doing here?” He’d gone to the Luidaeg. Oh, root and branch. The Luidaeg can be kind when she wants to, but her gifts are never free. What had he paid to find me?

Quentin stiffened, looking away for a moment before he turned back to me and said, “I’m here for Katie. You’re going to let me help,” in what was probably supposed to be a commanding tone.

I’ve been commanded by a lot of people in my time. Some of them were pretty good at it, and a few were even good enough to make me listen. Quentin had heritage and history on his side, but he didn’t have the practice, and when you’re trying to make me do what you want, practice is what counts. It also helps if you’re not down on your hands and knees.

I snorted. “I’m sorry, but no. Go home. It’s too dangerous.”

“I don’t care. They have Katie. I’m not going anywhere until we get her out.”

“There’s no ‘we’ here, Quentin. You have to go.”

“Why? This can’t be worse than when we went to help Jan, and I was good enough to go with you then. I’m staying. You can’t make me leave.”

How the hell was I supposed to tell him about Blind Michael? No one could have warned me about him. You can’t describe something so vast and old that it blanks out the sky; the words just aren’t there.

“Quentin, look at me,” I said, “Really look at me. This isn’t some kind of illusion—this is real. This isn’t the world you’re used to. We’re on an Islet. What does that tell you?”

“That things work differently here,” he said. Spike leaped off his shoulder, padding over to lean against my knee. I automatically started scratching under its chin. My pets have me well trained. Undaunted, Quentin said, “The Luidaeg warned me. I’m not scared.”

Of course he wasn’t scared. The fear comes later, after the hurting starts. “You need to go home.”

“Not without Katie.” His voice seemed to echo through the brambles and out to the plains. I cringed. He didn’t have a candle; Blind Michael could see him. If we kept fighting, I might be responsible for getting him caught.

“Fine, whatever,” I hissed, “But I’m in charge here, understand? You listen to me.”

“Of course,” he said, and smiled. My giving the orders and his taking them was a familiar pattern. Hopefully this time we could skip the part where I almost get him killed.

I gave him a bleak look and shook my head, turning to crawl out of the brambles. “Follow me.”

Getting back into the open was easier for me than it was for him: sometimes size really does matter. He had to back out, while I was able to crab-walk, only touching the ground for balance. Spike rode on my shoulder, pressed flat. It crooned as we moved, obviously glad to see me. I was glad to see it, too. I knew Spike could take care of itself, and having it along meant that if something happened to me, Quentin wouldn’t be alone.

Quentin stayed close, swearing when thorns caught in his clothes and hair. I didn’t feel sorry for him. He’d followed me into Blind Michael’s lands of his own free will, and I’d send him back if I could. We’d been through too much together. I didn’t want to see him hurt again. And he’d made sure that there was nothing I could do about it. Damn it. Why are we always so stupid when it comes to our own survival? How much of that was he learning from me?

I straightened once I was clear of the thorns, leaving Quentin still struggling to get free. The night seemed even darker without the brambles making a ceiling overhead to trap the candlelight.

Quentin finally got loose. I grabbed his sleeve, hushing him. I’ll give him this much: he froze, waiting for my signal before he did anything else. I couldn’t hear anyone coming—yet. That didn’t mean they weren’t on the way. “Quentin?”

“Yeah?”

“Run.” We bolted from cover together, my shorter legs pumping madly as I fought to keep up. The forest was a smudge on the horizon, holding darkness and shadows and Blind Michael’s lady. There was nothing there with reason to be friendly, but the Riders hadn’t been willing to follow me past the trees when I hid there before. We’d be safe a little longer if we could make it that far. Having Quentin along changed everything. He had no candle to hide him and no weapons I could see; he was defenseless, and it was up to me to get him out of the way as quickly as I could. We were almost there. All we had to do was keep running.