Gail Carriger - Heartless

No one, later that evening, nor ever again so long as any of them lived, mentioned what had to be done in order to get a very pregnant Lady Maccon into that passenger basket. There was some heaving, and a good deal of squeaking (both from Alexia and Tizzy), and hands might have had to be placed upon portions of the anatomy pleasing to neither Alexia nor her rescuers. Suffice it to say that Lady Maccon had cause to be grateful Lord Akeldama insisted that his drones undertake some sporting activity, for all their fashionable proclivities.

Alexia landed upon her bustle, legs slightly in the air. Gravity being even more forthright than Lady Maccon, she flailed about before managing to roll to one side and climb laboriously to her feet. She had a rather severe stitch in her side, a few bruises on her nether regions, and she was flushed with heat and exertion, but everything else, including the child, seemed to be in working order. The two young men jumped back inside after her.

“What are you doing here?” Lady Maccon demanded, still in shock that her plan to signal for help had actually worked. “Did my husband put a tail on me? What is it with werewolves and tails?”

Tizzy and Boots looked at each other.

Finally Boots said, “It wasn’t entirely the earl, Lady Maccon. Our lord asked us to keep an eye on you this evening as well. He indicated things might come to pass on full moon that required additional recognizance in this part of London, if you take my meaning.”

“How on earth would he know to do a thing like that? Oh, forget I asked. How does Lord Akeldama know anything?” Logic returned along with dignity, and Alexia took stock of her change in circumstances.

Boots shrugged. “Things always come to pass on full moon.”

Without having to be directed, the pilot was already taking the small craft back up, away from fire and smoke. He was a diminutive man, clean-shaven, with a snubbed nose and a mercurial expression. His cravat was very well tied and it coordinated perfectly with his waistcoat.

“Don’t tell me.” Alexia looked him up and down. “This dirigible happens to be owned by Lord Akeldama?”

“If that’s what you desire, my lady, we won’t tell you.” Boots looked guilty, as though he were somehow failing her in this request.

Lady Maccon twisted her lips together in thought. The infant-inconvenience kicked at her mightily, and she clutched reflexively at her stomach. “I hate to do this to you, gentlemen, but I find myself in desperate need to call upon Westminster Hive, as quickly as possible. How fast does this contraption go?”

The pilot gave her a cheeky grin. “Oh, you’d be surprised, my lady. Very surprised. Lord Akeldama had this little beauty retrofitted by Madame Lefoux. That he did.”

“I didn’t know they had professional dealings with each other.” Lady Maccon arched an eyebrow.

“I understand this was a first commission. The very first. Lord Akeldama was delighted with her work. Quite delighted. As, indeed, am I. Can’t try floating himself, poor man.” The pilot looked as though he really felt genuinely sorry for the vampire’s inability. “But he’s had this beauty put through her paces around the green, and I assure you, that Frenchwoman is a miracle worker. A miracle worker, I say. The things she can do with aeronautics.”

“She did comment once that it was her specialty at university. And, of course, there’s always Monsieur Trouvé and the ornithopter.”

The pilot looked up from his activities with a gleam of interest. “Ornithopter you say? I’d heard the French were branching out. My goodness, what a sight that must be.”

“Yes.” Lady Maccon’s voice was low. “Better to see in action than to use oneself, if you ask me.” She raised her voice. “About this dirigible going faster? It’s very important that I put in an appearance within the next few minutes. Why don’t you show me the full extent of this lovely craft’s paces?”

Another grin met that request. “Just point me in the appropriate direction, my lady!”

Alexia did so, gesturing north. They were already above the rooftops, the fire well behind them. She toddled to the edge and looked down: Hyde Park was to their left and a little ahead, while Green Park and the Palace Garden lay spread behind them and to the right. Even so high, she could hear the howling of Queen Victoria’s personal werewolf guard, the Growlers, locked away in one special wing of Buckingham below.

She indicated a point ahead and slightly to the right, between the two parks—the center of Mayfair. The pilot pulled down hard on a doorknob-ended lever, and the craft lurched in that direction, faster than Alexia had thought dirigibles could go. Madame Lefoux’s touch, indeed.

“Does she have a name, Captain?” she yelled into the rushing air.

Both the interest and the title earned Lady Maccon a great deal of loyalty from the young pilot. “ ’Course she does, my lady. Himself calls her Buffety, for the rocking motion, I suspect. She’s on the registry as Dandelion Fluff Upon a Spoon. Don’t know as I can rightly explain that one.”

Tizzy tittered knowingly. Lady Maccon and the pilot looked at him, but the young lordling seemed disinclined to elaborate.

Lady Maccon shrugged. “I suppose Lord Akeldama names in mysterious ways.”

Boots, his eyes on Alexia’s other hand, which was still wrapped protectively about her swollen belly, inquired solicitously, “Is it the child, Lady Maccon?”

“The reason for our urgency? Oh, no. I have an invitation to attend Countess Nadasdy’s full-moon party, and I am late.”

Boots and Tizzy nodded their full understanding of this grave social necessity. All speed was indeed called for.

“We shall make haste, then, my lady. We wouldn’t want you to arrive beyond the fashionable hour.”

“Thank you for your understanding, Mr. Bootbottle-Fipps.”

“And the fire, my lady?” Boots’s muttonchops fluffed up in the breeze.

Alexia batted her eyelashes. “Fire? What fire?”

“Ah, is that how it is?”

Lady Maccon turned to look once more out of the gondola. She could make out the massive form of the octomaton, careening through the corner of Hyde Park behind Apsley House directly below them. But with another pull on that lever, Dandelion Fluff Upon a Spoon surged ahead and on into Mayfair, leaving the rampaging octopus far behind. The drones, having noticed the great crashing beast, made little warbling noises of distress before insisting Alexia tell them all about it.

The Westminster Hive house was one of many similar fashionable residences. It stood at the end of the block and a little apart from the row, but nothing else distinguished it as special or supernaturally inclined. Perhaps the grounds were a little too well tended and the exterior a little too clean and freshly painted, but no more or less than that customarily afforded by the very wealthy. It was a good-enough address, but not too good, and it was large enough to accommodate the countess, the primary members of her hive, and their drones, but not too large.

On this particular full moon, it was busier than usual, with a number of carriages pulling in at the front and disgorging some of the ton’s very highest and most progressive politicians, aristocrats, and artists. Alexia, as muhjah, knew (although others might not) that the assembled were all in the vampire’s enclave, or employ, or service, or all three. They were attired in their very best, collars starched high, dresses cut low, britches tight, and bustles shapely. It was a parade of consequence—Countess Nadasdy would allow nothing less.

High floating was assuredly a fashionable way to arrive at a party, the latest and greatest, some might say. But it was not at all convenient for a street already clogged with private carriages and hired hansoms. As the dirigible neared, a few of the horses spooked, rearing and neighing. Ground conveyances crashed into one another in their efforts to clear space, which resulted in a good deal of yelling.