Mike Carey - The Naming of the Beasts

‘It’s a piece of fucking history.’

‘Cut it into three-inch pieces. Sell them for a tenner each.’

He tried the idea on for size and decided that – besides increasing his profit margin substantially – it made a lot of sense. ‘I guess people only want as much history as they can easily carry around, right?’

‘That’s always been my personal preference.’

‘Yours feeling any lighter?’

‘Yeah,’ I admitted. ‘A little. But I’m benching three and a half decades, Nicky. A month here, a year there . . . it makes less difference than you’d think.’

He nodded philosophically. ‘Sure, sure. Well, I’m up to my neck here, and tomorrow is the grand opening. Stop by if you’re in the neighbourhood.’

I headed back out into the night, the heavy steel doors echoing behind me.

I could have taken in a late-night movie, or caught the last couple of rounds at a bar where the music and the beer were more or less bearable. I could even have gone back home and slept. But Pen and Rafi were renovating both the house and their relationship right then. I never knew which room they were going to turn up in, so the less time I spent at home, the less chance I had of accidentally walking in on some of the wilder stretches of the Kama Sutra.

I caught the last Tube out of Walthamstow Central back into town, and walking on autopilot I found my steps taking me through Somers Town again. To my amazement, I bumped into a familiar group of zombies sitting around a familiar fire, although they had it banked a little higher now that the nights had started to turn.

There was a Londis open nearby, with a small but not too shabby selection of booze behind the counter. I bought a couple of bottles this time, one of whisky and one of rum, and a packet of plastic cups. Then I went and sat with the dead men for a while, fulfilling a promise I’d all but forgotten I’d made.

They were surprisingly good company, once you stopped registering the smell. They’d been through everything the world had to throw at them and earned their philosophical detachment the hard way. It made for a sort of fatalistic good humour: life’s a bitch, and then you die, and then . . .

The levels in the bottles sank inch by inch, the sky started to lighten around the horizon, and I was about to call it a night when a newcomer joined the circle around the fire, crowding me a little close. She brought her own warmth with her, noticeable in this company because most of the regular crowd were at the ambient temperature.

I turned round to see who it was.

‘Private party?’ Trudie Pax asked.

‘Limited to the living, the dead and the pending file,’ I told her.

‘Good enough. Any of that booze left?’

I poured her a generous measure of Scotch. ‘How did you track me down?’ I asked.

She held up her hands, both of which were wound around with many loops of multicoloured string. ‘A little stiff,’ she said, ‘but I’m right back in the game. You wouldn’t believe what I can do with these babies now.’

‘I’d love to find out.’

It was the kind of mildly off-colour remark I throw out by reflex, and I expected an equally perfunctory put-down. Instead, Trudie slipped her hand into mine.

When the dawn filled half the sky, the zombies headed off to pastures new – an ownerless shed round the back of Camden Lock where they could lie low until the unruly sun stopped poking at them. Hand in hand with Trudie, I walked through Euston Square and watched the morning get its kit on.

‘I heard that Imelda Probert’s daughter made a full recovery,’ Trudie said, her tone guardedly neutral.

‘Yeah,’ I agreed. ‘I heard that, too.’

‘Any idea where she’ll go now?’

‘She got a job,’ I said. ‘At a market stall in Walthamstow. It’ll pay the rent.’ My tone was even more off-hand than Trudie’s, but that was because the subject was one that still hurt too much to dwell on for long. I’d given Lisa back her life: I didn’t believe for a moment that in doing that I’d settled the debt between us.

‘You ever wish you were part of this?’ Trudie asked, indicating with a toss of her head the scuttling commuters, the street cleaners, the shopkeepers taking down their shutters on the station concourse.

‘Of life, you mean?’ I asked, surprised by the question. ‘No. Not much. I’d rather be an ironic commentator. ’ But it was a flip answer, and from the tone of her voice she’d meant the question seriously. ‘I suppose when I think of it at all, I feel like Janis Joplin in the Chelsea Hotel song. “We may be ugly, but at least we’ve got the music.” I wouldn’t want to give up what I’ve got for what they’ve got.’

‘No,’ Trudie agreed. ‘Me neither.’

We walked along together in silence for a while.

‘So how religious are you feeling today, Ms Pax?’ I asked at last.

‘Very. Very devout. How about you, Mr Castor?’

‘Atheistic. Blasphemous. Practically satanic.’

She leaned her head on my shoulder.

‘Let’s form an inter-faith study group,’ she suggested.

Mike Carey is the acclaimed writer of Lucifer and Hellblazer (now filmed as Constantine ). He has also written extended runs for Marvel’s fan-favourite titles X-Men and Ultimate Fantastic Four , the comic book adaptation of Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere , and a movie screenplay, Frost Flowers , soon to be produced by Hadaly/Bluestar Pictures. He lives in London with his wife, Linda, also a novelist and screenwriter, their three children and a cat named Tasha.

For more information about Mike Carey visit www.mikecarey.co.uk