Kevin Hearne: Trapped

If you’re an old hand with the series, then you know that some of the Irish names can be challenging if you try to say them according to English spelling rules. Since I have a lot of Irish names in this book, I’m taking the opportunity to repeat some names that I haven’t addressed since Hounded . As always, this guide is intended to help those who’d like to say everything correctly in their head. There is no requirement to do so, and I won’t be annoyed if you pronounce things however you like—especially since these are presented largely in the Ulster dialect, and folks who speak in the Munster dialect would pronounce them differently anyway. You’re supposed to have fun, dang it, so have fun whether you say these correctly or not! There won’t be a test later.

Irish

Aenghus Óg = AN gus OHG (Epic douche. Dead now)

Brighid = BREE yit (First Among the Fae, her magical powers are rivaled only by those of the Morrigan)

Cnoc an Óir = KNOCK a NOR (Location on the plane of Mag Mell; source of the healing hot springs. Literally means gold hill )

Creidhne = CRAY nya (One of the Three Craftsmen, specializes in bronze, brass, and gold)

Dubhlainn Óg = DOOV lin OHG

Emhain Ablach = Evan ah BLACH (That’s a guttural ch that often gets left off and pronounced like an ah , as it does in the words Fragarach and Moralltach . Means Isle of Apples)

Fand = Fand (I know, right? What are the odds that you’d say it the way it’s spelled? Daughter of Flidais, married to Manannan Mac Lir)

feeorin = FEY oh rin (A type of faery in Irish lore, which precedes the birth of George Lucas; bears absolutely no relation to the reptilian alien species in the Star Wars universe)

Fir Darrig = fir DAR ick (They’re like Fir Bolgs but woodier)

Flidais = FLIH dish (Irish goddess of the hunt)

Fragarach = FRAG ah RAH (Legendary sword that can cut through any armor; the Answerer)

geancanach = gan CAN ah (Another type of faery)

Goibhniu = GUV new (One of the Three Craftsmen, specializing in smithing and brewing)

Granuaile = GRAWN ya wale (People ask me about this one a lot, so there you go)

Luchta = LOOKED ah (The ch is kind of a guttural job, but I’m approximating with a k sound here. One of the Three Craftsmen, specializing in woodcraft. He’s sometimes referred to as Luchtaine in myth.)

Mag Mell = Mah Mell (One of the Irish planes of paradise; the really posh one)

Manannan Mac Lir = MAH nah non mac LEER (God of the sea and psychopomp to five planes of the afterlife, including Mag Mell and Emhain Ablach)

Moralltach = MORE ul TAH (Another legendary sword with an enchantment of necrosis on it; one strike and you’re toast. Means Great Fury)

Ogma = OG ma (First syllable rhymes with log . One of the Tuatha Dé Danann)

Scáthmhaide = SKAH wad jeh (Means Shadow Staff)

Siodhachan = SHE ya han (The real first name of Atticus given to him by his own dear mother)

Tír na nÓg = TEER na NOHG (Land of Youth. The primary Irish plane through which Druids shift to other planes.)

Tuatha Dé Danann = TWO ah day DAN an (The race o’ people who were the first Druids and eventually became the gods of the pagan Irish)

Norse

Álfheim = ALF hame

Einherjar = EYNE her yar

Gjöll = Gyoll (Short o as in not)

Hugin = HYOO gin

Munin = MOO nin

Nidavellir = NIH da VETTL ir

Niflheim = NIV el HAME

Sigyn = SIG in (Hard g )

Skadi = SKAH dee (With a softish d )

Svartálfheim = SVART alf hame

Vir = VER

Yggdrasil = IG drah sil (World Tree)

Ylgr = ILL ger

Greco-Romans

Agrios = AG ree ohs (A Thracian horror)

Bacchant = BOCK ent (There are alternate pronunciations for these that are perfectly valid; this is just the one I prefer)

Bacchus = BOCK us

Oreios = oh RYE ohs (Brother to Agrios, another Thracian horror)

Polyphonte = polly FAWN tay (Learned what happens when you displease Aphrodite; mother to Agrios and Oreios)

Thracian = THRAY shen

You know those spastic full-body twitches you get sometimes when you’re almost asleep and your muscles want to play a practical joke on your brain? You startle wide awake and immediately get pissed at your nervous system, wondering what the hell that was all about. I’ve caught myself talking to it before: “Damn it, Dude”—yes, I call my nervous system Dude, and the Dude abides—“I was almost asleep, and now you’ve slain all the sheep I was gonna count.”

What I felt as I walked on the Kaibab Plateau was kind of like that, except it was Gaia doing the spastic full-body twitch. It was more of an uncomfortable shudder that I felt through my tattoos, like when you step barefoot into the garage in winter and your nipples pucker up. But, as with those nervous muscle spasms, I got irritated about it and wondered what the hell was going on. And while I wasn’t about to go to sleep, I was about to enjoy the culmination of twelve years of training an apprentice—and, save for the first few months of it and a harrowing episode halfway through, I’d conducted it all in peace. Granuaile was finally ready to become a full Druid, and we’d been searching for a place to bind her to the earth when I felt the tremor. I shot a question to the elemental, Kaibab, in the cocktail of feelings and images they use instead of language: //Confusion / Query: What was that?//

//Confusion / Uncertainty / Fear// came the reply. That chilled me. I’d never heard confusion from an elemental before. The fear, on the other hand, was perfectly normal: Despite their awesome power, elementals are afraid of almost everything, from placer mines to land developers to bark beetles. They can be real scaredy-cats sometimes. But they’re never uncertain about what’s going on with Gaia. Stopping in my tracks and causing Granuaile and Oberon to turn and look at me quizzically, I asked Kaibab what there was to fear.

//Plane across ocean / Early death / Burning / Burning / Burning//

Well, that confused me too. Kaibab wasn’t talking about an airplane. He (or she, if Granuaile had been the one talking to the elemental) meant an entire plane of existence, a plane that was tied to earth somewhere on the other side of the globe. //Query: Which plane?//

//Name unknown / God from plane seeks you / Urgent / Query: Tell him location?//

//Query: Which god?//

The answer to that would tell me what plane was burning. There was a pause, during which time I stalled with Granuaile and Oberon. “Something’s up with Kaibab. Hold on.” They knew better than to interrupt, and they took this news as an invitation to be on their guard, which was wise. Anything worrisome to the avatar of the environment you currently occupy should rouse you to a caffeinated state of paranoia.

//God’s name: Perun// Kaibab finally said.

Almost unconsciously, I sent //Shock// in reply, because it was truly my reaction. The Slavic plane of existence was burning, perhaps even dead? How? Why? I hoped Perun would have the answers. If he sought me in hopes that I had them, we’d both be disappointed. //Yes / Tell Perun location//

I’d also like to know how Perun even knew to ask for me—did someone tell him I’d faked my death twelve years ago? There was another pause, during which I filled in Granuaile and Oberon. Thanks to Immortali-Tea, they hadn’t aged any more than I had.