MaryJane Davidson - Undead and Unwelcome

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"Ms. Davidson has her own brand of wit and shocking surprises that make her vampire series on of a kind" (
). And heroine Betsy Taylor has problems that only a suburban vampire-queen housewife could possibly understand, such as...
FIFTY THOUSAND ANGRY WEREWOLVES.
That's what Betsy is facing when she takes her werewolf friend Antonia's body to Cape Cod, where the Pack resides at Wyndham Manor. Because Antonia died in her service, Betsy is alive and well—and wracked with guilt. She has no idea if the Wyndham werewolves will greet her with fangs or friendship.
While Betsy and her husband, Sinclair, try to make nice, their legal ward, BabyJon, freaks out every werewolf he meets. Meanwhile, Betsy's posse back at the St. Paul mansion is not LOLing. Increasingly frantic e-mails alert Betsy to her half sister's increasingly erratic behavior. Looks like the devil's daughter is coming into her own—and raising hell. All in the name of making Betsy's life easier, of course.

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Chapter 23

Wyndham Manor, I had been told, was not only werewolf HQ and the seat of their power, it was also home to dozens of Pack members. And it had obviously been built to accommodate crowds, because the service was held in a room the size of a warehouse and nobody was crowded. I was guessing, when there wasn’t a coffin involved, it was a ballroom.

Michael had spoken briefly, and then a minister (a werewolf Presbyterian minister!) had spoken, and then people started filing past the coffin, no doubt paying their respects.

I had noticed right away that they’d switched Antonia to a much nicer coffin. It shone like polished jet and was just as black. An enormous spray of white calla lilies nearly covered the entire top. I wonder what they’d done with the old one—the one Derik had destroyed. Then I decided a) it was a morbid thought and b) none of my business.

At least Jessica was missing this. This was actually fine by me—if I knew where she was, I wouldn’t worry about her.

BabyJon was snuggled against my shoulder, thumb popped into his mouth, gazing around with bright-​eyed interest. I tried to pretend he wasn’t drooling on the lapel of my Ann Taylor.

Weirdly, it had been Sinclair’s idea for me to bring him. It was the first time Sinclair had suggested we bring BabyJon anywhere, so on top of being sad for Antonia, and scared for us, I was suspicious of my husband’s motives.

I didn’t move when people started getting up. I had already paid my respects. I had wept over her, called her Pack, and told them the unthinkable, had flown her home. It was more than I’d done for my own father.

“Hello. It’s Betsy, right?”

I looked up and almost gasped. One of the most striking women I had ever seen in my life was standing in front of me, with a pregnant belly out to here.

“Uh, yeah.” I shifted BabyJon and held out a hand, which she shook briskly. “Betsy Taylor.”

“The infamous queen of the dead.” But her blue eyes were kind, and she was smiling. Her hair was a rich auburn cloud around her shoulders. “I’m Sara, Derik’s wife.”

“Undead,” I corrected, “and yeah, that’s me. Was Antonia a friend of yours? I s’pose she must have been; she and your husband were kind of tight, or so I heard. I’m very sorry about what happened to her.”

“Thank you.” Sara eased herself into the chair beside me and massaged the small of her back. “But she wasn’t my friend. I couldn’t stand spending time with her.”

I stared. And stared. And stared some more, feeling equal parts admiration and horror. Sara had a pair, that was for sure, to speak ill of the dead in this of all places. But she was telling the truth, which I admired tremendously.

“She was kind of a grump,” I admitted. “You’re, um, not a werewolf. Are you?”

“No, no.”

“So Jeannie’s not the only human who, ah, runs with the Pack?”

“No indeed. Although I’m not technically human,” she said.

“Oh.”

“I’m the reincarnation of the sorceress Morgan Le Fay.”

Oh. Great. A crazy woman—a crazy pregnant woman—was sitting less than two feet away. My, what an interesting week this was turning out to be!

Sara laughed, accurately reading my expression. “Never mind, you don’t have to believe it, just like I don’t have to convince you. Although I should warn you, if you try to hurt me, the chances are excellent that something awful will happen to you.”

“I just met you. Why would I want to hurt you?”

“Nobody knows. Just like no one can predict what you and your husband are up to at any given time. Are you going to finish that?”

I handed her my cherry Coke—yes, now that the actual service was over, they’d broken out the bar drinks. “Predict . . . what the hell are you talking about?”

Sara gestured to the room. I looked, but all I saw were hostile gazes pretty much everywhere I turned. “You’re just making them extremely nervous, that’s all.”

“What? Me? But that’s—”

“You don’t have a scent,” she interrupted gently. “So they can’t tell how you’re feeling at any given time. It makes them—all of them—extremely nervous.”

Of course! I almost slapped my forehead. I had completely forgotten how much that had weirded Antonia out when she came to live with us. It took her weeks to get used to us for that exact reason.

“Then how come you’re on this side of the room, talking to me?”

Sara shrugged. “You don’t make me nervous. You’re still our guest, despite the circumstances. And you won’t be able to hurt me.”

Back to that again. “What, are you a superstar pregnant ninja warrior or something?”

“No, no. Nothing like that.”

Silence.

“Well? Jeez, you can’t make comments like that and then leave me hanging.”

“But you won’t believe me anyway, so why waste my breath?”

“Try me,” I retorted.

She shrugged. “I affect the laws of probability. If someone tries to shoot me, the gun will jam. Or a pinprick aneurysm he had all his life will pick that second to blow. Or he’ll miss me and the bullet will ricochet back into his brain.”

Sara sighed. “I knew you’d say that.”

“I didn’t have a chance to say anything, you—” Poor crazy person, I’d been about to say, which wasn’t nice, under the circumstances. “So in order for you to—to—uh—”

“Affect the laws of probability.”

“Don’t you have to do tons of math all the time?”

“Oh, no. My power’s completely unconscious. I have no control over it at all. After I won the lottery for the fourth time, I sort of hung it up.” She patted her belly. “Besides, there are more important things than buying lottery tickets.”

“Yeah, I s’pose.”

“And knowing I’ll win sort of takes the fun out of it.”

“Sure, I can see that.” Looney tunes.

“Is this your son?” Sara smiled and held her arms out. BabyJon smiled back and snuggled more firmly into my shoulder.

“It’s not you,” I hastily assured the crazy pregnant woman. “He pretty much only likes me. He’s not my son, though. He’s my half brother.”

“He’s charming,” Sara said admiringly. “What beautiful eyes!”

“Thanks.” I perked up a little. “He’s really a sweet baby. He almost never cries, and he sleeps all day—”

“I would imagine, with a vampire big sister.”

“Yeah, we had to do some juggling with everybody’s schedule,” I admitted.

“But weren’t you worried about bringing him here with—with everything that’s happened?”

“I haven’t been his guardian very long. My husband and I need to get in the habit of thinking like parents, not ravenous, slavering monarchs of the undead.”

Sara cracked up, holding her belly and clutching the table so she wouldn’t fall over. I perked up even more. At least someone at this funeral didn’t blame me for Antonia’s sacrifice. I could feel the disapproving stares, but Sara just laughed and laughed.

Finally, she settled down and wiped her watering eyes. “Hormones,” she explained. “Sorry.”

“Hey, I’m not offended. It’s kind of nice to see someone—” Lightening up, I’d been about to say, which would have been seriously uncool.

“So! I’ve never met a vampire before.”

“Well, I’ve never met a sorceress before.” I was trying to remember what I knew about Morgan Le Fay, but history was so not my strong point. I thought she’d been a witch during King Arthur’s time. She was one of the bad guys, I was pretty sure. Well, I could always ask Sinclair.

“We can’t say that any longer, can we?” Sara was asking.

“Not hardly .” I glanced over her shoulder and saw Derik stomping toward us, his normally smiling countenance twisted into a scowl. “Uh-​oh. Pissed off hubby at six o’clock.”

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