Kristie Cook - Promise

I pulled his face to mine and kissed him gently on his satiny lips. Then I kissed his forehead…and his eyelids…and his cheeks…and his chin…and the corners of his mouth. The built-up emotions of the night—fear, anxiety, shame, pain, sadness—crashed down on us and then were pushed away by the strongest of them all: love. Our lips moved together hungrily. I tasted the tangy-sweetness of mangos and papayas, lime and sage, on his lips…his breath…his tongue.

Our kisses became more passionate as he leaned into me. My heart raced with excitement, my body pulsing with electrical charges he sent through it with every touch. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pressed my body into his while pulling him closer still with my arms. I wanted to just melt into him and let him feel that I did really love him.

He laced his fingers into my hair and pulled gently back, exposing my neck. He moved his lips along my jaw, down my throat. I let out a sigh as he kissed my collar bone and then pulled my head back further, lifting my chest. He nestled his face between my breasts. His body trembled against mine. And then he let go of my hair and relaxed his own body, breathing heavily against my chest. My own breathing was ragged as I struggled to use my brain, to figure out why he'd stopped.

We both sat there for a minute, him on his knees, his head against my chest, me holding him tight, but starting to relax. When the fog cleared from my mind, I knew it was good he'd stopped. I wasn't ready for anything more.

"I don't think we should push it any further," he finally said.

"Right," I agreed, reluctantly letting him go.

"I should probably go home."

"Please don't," I reacted. Then I remembered what I did to him—his internal struggle between wanting to love me and wanting to kill me—and my heart hurt for him again. "I mean, I wish you would stay, but if you think you need to…"

He rocked back on his heels and his face was tight, as if concentrating hard on something. His eyes were closed and he took careful, controlled breaths. When he opened his eyes, the gold looked more like fire than sparkles, but not bright flames like I'd seen before. That's when I realized what the flames meant…he was about to lose control. Each time I'd seen them, we'd been in a moment of passion and passion led to loss of control, regardless of who—or what—you were. I knew that already just from the little bit I'd experienced. He stopped us not just because he was a gentleman, but also to protect me. I shuddered.

"I do scare you," he said quietly.

I shook my head.

"I trust you, Tristan," I whispered, my throat hot and dry. A cold glass of ice water suddenly seemed absolutely necessary. "You want a glass of water?"

He smiled. "That would be wonderful."

I stood up and found my legs to be slightly weak and wobbly. By the time I returned and we both drained our glasses, we felt cooled down enough to lie safely together. We lay on our sides in my small bed, my back against his chest, his arms around me, holding me close. It felt nice…perfect.

But my mind continued to spin, not ready to shut down, questions still flying through it. I started with an easy one.

"So, when's your birthday?" I asked.

"Ah. Now the questions." He chuckled in my hair. "October 31."

" Halloween ? Oh…I guess that shouldn't be surprising."

"It was just a coincidence, though, especially since I was premature," he said. "I was born . They didn't hook me up to a machine and turn a switch on."

"So you're not like Frankenstein?" I asked with a giggle.

"Definitely not. They just made sure the right genes…and other things…were a part of my creation. But I'm more like you than you realize."

"You keep saying that and I believe it…although I still really don't know who I am."

"I'm sorry I can't tell you, but it's not my place." He kissed the back of my head. "If you pay attention to your mom and to me—and really believe we're very much alike—you'll get an idea of who you'll become."

"Hmm…good idea. So, we missed your birthday. I'll have to make that up to you."

"No need. I prefer not to acknowledge it," he said sadly. I realized the real meaning of his dislike for Halloween.

"So are you twenty-one now?"

"My age is irrelevant. I can be whatever you'd like me to be."

"Well, I'm eighteen, almost nineteen…" I sucked in my breath as a thought occurred to me and I giggled. "You know, you are quite the dirty old man!"

He chuckled quietly in my ear. "I guess you could look at it that way. But I'd rather not. Let's say I'm twenty, okay?"

"Okay. That works for me. So, how'd you meet Mom? During the war, I mean."

"She was a nurse, I was a soldier."

"You were a soldier? You fought in the war? Wait…which side were you on?"

He sighed. "I've fought in many wars and most of the time not on the side you would prefer. But, in that one, I was on the Allied side. The Daemoni had an ulterior motive for me with some American soldiers."

"Oh." I didn't know how to respond.

"I never completed it, though."

"Why not?"

"One of my…targets…was severely wounded. Sophia took care of him. I knew who she was, but I couldn't bring myself to do what I'd been created for. She was so tender and caring. She didn't know this guy at all, but she showed so much… love for this complete stranger." He paused. "That's when I first started to comprehend the action of love—not the emotion, but at least what it looks like in action. I'd always hated the way I was, but I didn't know any other way. Not until then. So I left her alone, left him alone. He became an influential reverend and then U.S. senator—that's why I was supposed to take him out. So, I considered leaving the Daemoni then. I started thinking about whether I could be any different. It took nearly forty years, though, before I knew for sure I could change—the next time I met Sophia, when she took me to the Amadis."

Wow . Tears filled my eyes. "She saved you," I whispered.

"Yes, she did," he whispered, too. "That's how I knew I was okay with her—I could be around her without any of those…urges—and I just had to worry about you. I knew she wanted me to stay away from you, but I couldn't, and it was difficult to defy her like I did. I owe everything to Sophia—more than just my life. So much more."

We lay there silently for a minute or so. I thought he was done, but then he continued. "When I joined the Amadis, I shed that old life permanently, Alexis. It was like a rebirth. I took the name Tristan Knight and started a whole new life, never looking back. I need you to understand that."

"I know already," I said quietly, squeezing his hand. "And, in that way, you are only around twenty."

"Yes, that's how I like to look at it." I could hear the smile in his voice. "Now, can we change the subject? Or go to sleep?"

Sleep? Yeah, right.

"If you wanted to sleep, you should've gone home."

He chuckled. "Then ask a different question. Preferably, something about the present. The past is gone and I'd rather you not think of me the way I was."

"To me, you'll always be my sweet Tristan. I love the person you are now. We can leave the past where it belongs."

He hugged me tighter in appreciation. I kissed his hand while I thought about an easier topic.

"Do you really do all that stock market and consulting stuff? Or was that just a cover?" I finally asked.

"No, I do that. I tried to be as honest as I could with you. The consulting I do is for the Amadis. And one of my abilities is I can open my mind to see all the possibilities in a situation and identify the best solution or path to take, as long as I have the facts. So that stuff is easy to me."

"Wow. That must make school easy. But why do you even bother with school anyway?"