Amanda Sun: Shadow

The shadows chased me as I raced along the shore, my sandals sinking into the sand. I stumbled out of one, then the other, the curl of a smoky claw scraping against the backs of my legs. The tide lapped against the bare soles of my feet, the spray of salt water burning like a demon’s tongue.

In the distance, the Torii rose like a great yawning mouth to swallow me whole.

I burst through, the shadows slamming against the gateway with flashes of golden lightning. Dust glittered downward and peppered the beach with volcanic ash.

“Why do you run from yourself?” said a familiar voice, and I twisted toward her in the sand. The girl, standing in her golden kimono, held a mirror the size of a shield.

Blond hair spilled over her shoulders and splayed over the silver-embroidered phoenixes on her sleeves.

“Who are you?” I said.

“You must bear the marks, Taira no Kiyomori,” she said.

“I’m not Taira. And I saw you. In my school.”

“It is what it means to be one of us.”

“Answer me,” I said. “Why were you at my school?”

She paused a moment, as she decided whether she’d tell me. “We are not the same.”

“But she looks like you somehow. Why?”

“Because the time is at hand,” she said. “Because she has a part to play. But there is only death ahead.”

“You’re wrong,” I said. “You’re wrong about me. And I think you’re wrong about her.”

She pressed her lips together in a thin, grim line. And then she turned her shield with both hands, the sound of it grinding into the sand filling my ears.

It was me in the reflection, but different somehow. A darkness in the eyes, hollow and sleep deprived. Monstrous, alien pupils, scars bleeding ink down my wrists. I looked cold, uninterested. Somehow less than human.

This was the part where I would wake up, where Taira would see me and panic. But this time I was me, not Taira. I saw myself, and I was frightened.

I reached for the sword at my side, shouting and leaping forward as I swung.

I watched myself splinter into a thousand pieces as shards of glass sprayed across the sand. They cut into my bare feet as I dropped the broken sword with a thud.

The base of the mirror stood empty in her hands. No reflection, nothing but a frame of tarnished brass.

“I will fight until the end,” I said, heaving breath into my burning lungs.

She pulled her lips into a tight smile.

“And you will fail,” she said.

I woke to the sound of my clock ticking in the darkness. I woke to shadow, and silence, and the uncertainty of what was to come.

* * * * *

Chan: Suffix used for female friends or those younger than the speaker

Chigau yo: “It’s not like that” or “No.” Literally, “It’s different”

Deshou: “Right?” Used to look for agreement when the speaker isn’t sure what’s being said is accurate

Furoshiki: A cloth traditionally used to wrap lunch boxes or other goods

Genkan: The foyer or entrance of a Japanese building. Usually the floor of the genkan is lower than the rest of the building to keep shoes and outside things separate from the clean raised floor inside.

Hai: “Yes.” Also used as a filler word to show that one is listening to the speaker

Heiki: “It’s fine” or “I’m not concerned”

Ii yo: “Sure”

Inugami: A dog demon from Shinto tradition. Known for their uncontrollable wrath and murderous instincts

Ittekuru: Tough guy slang for Ittekimasu , “I’m leaving (and coming back).” Said when leaving the home

Itterasshai: “Go (and come back safely).” Said when someone is leaving the home

Kaasan: Tough guy slang for Okaasan , “Mom”

Kagura: An ancient style of theatrical dance

Keitai: Cell phone

Kendouka: A kendo participant

Kotatsu: A heated table used in Japanese homes in the winter.

Mou: As used in SHADOW, depicts annoyance at the situation. “Jeez!”

Nani: “What?”

Ne: “Isnt it?” It can also be used as “Hey!” to get someone’s attention (like “Ne, Tanaka”)

Ohayo: “Good morning”

Oi: “Hey”

Onigiri: Rice balls

Sakura: The cherry blossoms

Sa-me zo: Tough guy slang for Samui yo , “It’s cold”

Shabu shabu: Japanese hot pot, a popular meal. Raw vegetables, meat and fish are cooked in a shared pot of boiling broth on the table and then dipped in various sauces before eating

Shinai: A sword made of bamboo slats tied together, used for kendo

Shinkansen: The bullet train

Suki: “I like you” or “I love you,” often used when confessing feelings for the first time

Tatami: Traditional mat flooring made of woven straw

Torii: Shinto entrance monument to a shrine. The O-Torii is the famous orange gate in front of Itsukushima Shrine

Tousan: Tough guy slang for Otousan , “Dad”

Tsuki: A kendo hit to the throat

Urusai: “Shut up!” Literally, “it’s noisy”

Yokatta: “Thank god”

Yuzu: A citrus fruit popular in Japanese sauces, drinks and dishes

Amanda Sunwas born in Deep River, Ontario, a small town where she could escape into the surrounding forest to read. She is an archaeologist by training, but her intense fear of spiders keeps her indoors, where she writes novels instead. She will write your name in Egyptian hieroglyphic if you ask, though. The Paper Gods is inspired by her time living in Osaka and traveling throughout Japan. She currently lives in Toronto, where she keeps busy knitting companion cubes, gaming and sewing costumes for anime conventions. Ink is her first novel. Visit her on the web at www.AmandaSunBooks.com and on Twitter at @Amanda_Sun.