Eleri Stone - Witch Bound

“Honor isn’t love.”

“He’ll love you.” He almost choked on the words. Damn her for making him say them. Damn Christian too. He had this fucking precious gift in his hands that he’d done nothing to earn and the lucky bastard didn’t even seem to realize it. But Christian was a smart man. He’d figure it out and he would love her. How could he not?

And Rocky would get over these nerves and fall for Christian just like everyone else did. Fen would be happy for her too. Christian would give her children, normal not-cursed children. He’d make her happy.

Fen started to move her away, but she lifted her face, eyes bright, hair a god-awful mess, tendrils sticking to the tracks of her tears. “He kissed me today.”

“Rocky...”

More tears leaked from the corner of her eyes and he cupped her cheeks to brush them away with his thumbs. “You should go be with Christian now. Talk to him about Elin. About all of this.”

She sniffed and leaned forward, setting her cheek against his chest and wrapping her arms around his waist. She sighed...the same kind of sigh he made when he slipped into bed bruised and battered from the hunt. The sound of someone reaching a safe shelter. And he wasn’t—couldn’t—be that for her.

“That’s the thing,” she whispered. “When he kissed me today, it felt wrong. And when I saw him with Elin... I should be upset about that. But that’s not why I’m crying.”

“I saw the way you looked at Alan’s. You were upset. I wanted to go to you.”

“It stung my pride.”

“You’ve only known him a few days.”

She’d stopped crying, but made no move to unwrap herself. He should do that, untangle her arms.

“I’ve only known you a few days.”

He closed his eyes. Bending his head, he touched his lips to her temple and breathed her in. He stroked a hand through her hair as he considered how to respond. He didn’t want to, didn’t want to acknowledge this at all. “You’ve never met a friend you felt like you’ve known forever? It happens sometimes.”

She fell silent. He should set her aside now, step back and start putting some distance between them. But...he couldn’t seem to do it. Not yet. When would he ever hold Rocky like this again? Never.

When he let her go tonight, he’d let her go.

“I thought about you.” Her voice fell to a bare whisper. “When Christian kissed me, it felt wrong because I wanted it to be you.”

He felt it like a shot to his gut. The pain hit first before it turned into something else. Something that caused his arms to tighten around her shoulders. Rocky tipped her head back to look at him and he stared at her lips, parted slightly, trembling. For a second, he let himself imagine it—bending his head to claim her mouth, sinking inside her heat. He wanted to know the taste of her. His skin tingled like it did before a shift, when he was holding back the magic from washing over him.

“I don’t want to marry Christian.”

As if a gaping hole opened under his feet, he fell into that sentence. His mouth opened, but he clamped it closed. What could he possibly say? This was his best friend’s fiancée, and he didn’t want a mate. He didn’t want children who would grow up and have to deal with this shit. Didn’t want to take the risk of handing his soul over to another person and then spend the rest of his life hoping they didn’t change their mind.

He was still falling when the phone in his back pocket began to vibrate. It was enough of a jolt for him to close his eyes and pull away. He dug the phone out and glanced at the number before answering. Aiden.

“Is it Rane?”

“No,” Aiden said, sounding tense and frustrated. “Another surge. Gather your men, pick up Lois too and meet us at the house.”

“Will do.”

Rocky was close enough to hear. “I’ll come too. The rune stones...Lois said she fixed the last one this afternoon. There shouldn’t be a surge. If there’s something wrong with the—”

“No.” Fen would have let her ride along if he didn’t need the space so badly. Her lips firmed, but she didn’t argue. “Now’s not the time to try to figure it out. When the demons are dead and it’s clear, then you can go look at the stones. Maybe Lois missed something.”

“Maybe Lois missed something on purpose.”

The accusation shocked him and apparently Raquel read that on his face, because she blushed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, no. I shouldn’t have said that. Lois wouldn’t place her own people at risk to discredit me, I know that. I’m the one who screwed up. Again.”

“Raquel—”

“Just go, Fen.” She gave him a gentle push toward the door. “I’ll clean up here.”

He keyed the emergency text as he walked out, not looking back even though he knew she was standing there watching him leave. He had a job to do. He wasn’t running away from her.

Christian was walking toward the barn beside Elin when Fen arrived at the house. Of course he was. He’d probably come back here after dropping Raquel off to keep Elin company as she sat by Rane’s bedside.

Fen had told Rocky the truth. Christian had broken things off with Elin months ago—as soon as Raquel’s family contacted him to make final preparations for the ceremony. Christian was friends with any number of his ex-lovers scattered through the town. And Rocky was perceptive enough to see it. He didn’t think she was confident or forgiving enough that it wouldn’t bother her. Especially not when she’d already overheard him telling Aiden that he only saw her as an obligation.

“You dropped Rocky on me again so you could run back here.”

Christian stopped walking, turned slowly. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about your fiancée risking her life so she can take her place here and coming to my house to cry about you.”

Christian glowered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. We’re fine. She said she was fine. We’re getting to know each other. These things take time.”

Fen knew he should shut up and walk away. He knew it. But he still took a step closer. Still got in Christian’s face. “She needs more from you.”

“I’m marrying her.”

So she should be grateful? “And she’s marrying you. You can both walk down the aisle lockstep like good soldiers.”

Christian’s hand was on his sword and Fen could feel the magic gathering around his own body. He hadn’t been this close to an uncontrolled shift since puberty.

“I’m doing the best I can,” Christian said. “I don’t know what you want from me.”

Fuck.

“Love her.” It was the simplest thing in the world. Why couldn’t Christian grasp such an incredibly simple thing? Christian would love her and then Fen could stop.

Christian went very still, but his hand fell away from his sword. Elin stood there gaping and Fen felt suddenly sick. He thought about letting the change take him, shred through his clothes and favorite jacket. Sink into that altered state where everything was sharp and clear and simple.

“Is there a problem here?”

He swung around. Aiden was dressed in full leather armor and already mounted on his horse. His expression hard and unhappy. “We need to go. Fen, most of the hounds are already here and changed. They’re out creating a perimeter around the break. We need you.” His eyes flicked up to focus on Christian. “And you. Can you put whatever the hell this is aside for the moment?”

Not waiting to see how Christian answered, Fen turned and walked away. He stripped off his clothes and tossed everything onto the porch in a heap. They’d all seen him buck naked countless times—a hazard of being a hound, one that had long since ceased to bother him. Elin, far more polite than he was, walked away to make her own transformation. The crows...well, he’d never seen them shift before and not for lack of trying. And not, like Rane teased, to sneak a peek. Purely a professional curiosity.