P. Hoover - Solstice

Charon flips the coin around in his pocket. “Nobody would dare say anything of the sort.”

It’s the same banter from before, and I realize this must go on every time Shayne makes the water journey. Eternal friendship.

“Can you move Randy?” I ask.

I hear Charon let out a whistle under his breath.

“No, Piper. I can’t. He’s been judged. He has to stay there.”

“But don’t you ever worry that you’re wrong?” I ask.

Shayne looks out across the water when he answers. “If I worried about that, it would consume me. I judge and move on.”

I process this thought as we get into the boat and decide I’ll come back to it. There has to be some way I can get Shayne to move Randy. Charon boards last and picks up the pole to move us.

“How long have you and Charon known each other?” I ask. We sit on the bow of the boat, side by side still in the darkest part of the cavern. I look out to the black water, seeing the sorrows there bubbling to the surface. Seeing the creatures shimmering below the froth, eating what sorrows they catch. Far ahead, the sky brightens where I know the two suns shine down from above.

“Forever.”

I laugh. “That’s a long time.”

Shayne pulls me closer. “An eternity.”

“So who do you live here with? Just Charon?”

Shayne glances back at Charon whose face is frozen as if he’s trying to not blink. But Shayne quickly turns back to me and smiles. “Don’t forget Rhadam.”

I smile at the memory of the energetic overlord of the Elysian Fields.

“And Cerberus. Not to mention the billions of dead souls keeping me company.”

I think of the sorrows of all those souls, left behind here in the river to be devoured by creatures of the Underworld. “What was Randy Conner’s last sorrow?” The question forces its way into my mind. I can’t pick Randy out of the chorus. All the voices blend together, shifting in rhythm when one gets swallowed by the creatures. Moving to fill the empty space.

Shayne is rigid against me all of a sudden. “You don’t want to know.”

“Yes, I do.” I think of the shuttle accident. Randy’s girlfriend and tons of friends and classmates at his funeral. His miserable family. And I remember Tanni and her friends by the Virgin Mary. I press my eyes closed and try to find his sorrow on my own, but it won’t come. “I just want to know.”

“Maybe you should just let Randy be.”

But I know I can’t let Randy be. “I want to know.”

Shayne sighs and looks to the river, and I see a bubble rise to the surface. It grows larger and begins to float, and the things under the water stay away from it.

I lean toward the edge of the boat, hoping to hear, but I feel Shayne’s hands grab my arms. He’s worried I’ll fall in.

“I want to hear.” I need to hear.

“You’ll be able to.”

So I lean back into him and close my eyes again.

If I die, who will protect them?

I gasp when I hear it, and images fill my mind. My eyes fly open, remembering his family at the funeral. His little sister with dry eyes. His mom shaking with sorrow, leaning away from his dad, not touching him. And his dad, with a black aura of anger pulsing through his veins. I see his dad’s anger in Randy’s sorrow. Anger his dad can’t control. Anger which makes Randy’s dad hit his wife and children.

Tanni’s words pound into my head.

“It’s my fault.”

I don’t even realize I say them aloud.

“No, Piper.”

The bubble pushes again below the water and disappears. My fault. Randy Conner’s death is my fault.

“I made you save Chloe.”

But Shayne grabs my shoulders and turns me to him. “No, it’s not your fault. You can’t think that way.”

“Then why?”

Shayne narrows his eyes and glances to the side. “The Fates determine who will die next. Not you. Not me. Chloe lived, and they chose Randy Conner.”

It’s all tumbling around in my mind. “But if Chloe had…” I can’t even bring myself to say it. I don’t want her dead. More than anything, I don’t want her dead.

“Randy may still have died.” His eyes shift back to me. “It’s all a game to them, watching lives fall apart.” His eyes have narrowed to slits, but the brown irises inside start to stir with flecks of red.

“And you do whatever they say?” I know it comes out harsh, but he’s just taken Randy and delivered him for eternity to the wrong place.

His defenses go up. “What do you mean?”

“When they die. You take the soul away from whoever the Fates say.”

An icy look runs across Shayne’s face, and his arms tense. “I don’t take anyone’s soul away.”

I motion around with my arm. “But this is your world.”

Shayne is holding anger just under his skin. “Yeah. My world. And my responsibility. But not my doing.”

“But I thought—”

“—wrong.” Shayne’s eyes won’t meet mine. “My job is to judge and maintain control. And trust me, that’s a big enough job.”

I feel like I’ve slapped Shayne. My cheeks burn, and I wish I could take it back. “I’m sorry.”

Shayne’s face softens, and he gives my shoulder a gentle caress which sends a shiver down my spine. “I’m the easy person to blame.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?”

His lips curl up in a smile. “It does get a bit old having every single death in history blamed on me. But it goes with the job.”

“So why is Randy in Asphodel?”

“It’s not so bad there, Piper,” Shayne says.

Bad or not, if I’ve fated Randy to die and doomed his family to suffer under an abusive father, then at least I need to see the product of my actions. My choice to save Chloe. “I want to see.”

Shayne rubs my shoulder and pulls me close. “I know.”

I hardly remember Charon is on the boat. His presence seems to evaporate when Shayne and I argue. When the boat bumps against the dock and Charon jumps out, I remember him, and my heart sinks; I’ve hardly spoken a word to him.

But he’s the one who helps me out this time, and when his hand grabs mine, he gives it a quick squeeze. Something stirs inside me, and I reach out and hug him. He lets go of my hand and grabs me in a bear hug so fierce, my lungs feel like collapsing. When he lets go, his weathered face cracks into its smile, which, even after two visits, I love.

“Have a wonderful time.”

I smile back, and Shayne gets out of the boat behind me. “I will.” The Underworld feels more welcoming than my real home back at the Botanical Haven, even with all its scary river monsters and haunting sorrows.

Once our feet hit the swampy shore, Cerberus runs over, weaving through the trees, tail thumping so hard it’s like his lower half is another head with a mind of its own. He jumps both front paws up onto Shayne, and they wrestle around until Shayne finally falls to the ground.

“Does he wait for you every time you leave?”

Shayne reaches over to rub Cerberus’s belly which causes him to flop down, roll over, and expose every bit of his giant stomach. Even with three heads, he’s just a dog.

“Pretty much. Man’s best friend, right?”

I laugh. “You mean god’s best friend.”

“I may be a god, Piper, but I’m still just your regular, average guy.”

All it takes is one look at Shayne to know there’s nothing average about him.

We turn and wave a final goodbye to Charon. He’s already far away from the dock, out in the reeds and cattails, but the warmth of his smile even at that distance broadens my own.

“Charon likes you,” Shayne says.

“I like Charon.”

Shayne laughs. “Now that’s one thing not many people will say. Most people aren’t happy about dying. Everyone knows they don’t live forever, but when it’s actually their time, they almost never want to go.”