Jeanne Stein - Haunted

He picks up on my reticence. “I shouldn’t have sprung this on you. I know it’s a lot to process. But you have no family tying you to San Diego now. And it’s a much shorter flight to Europe from the East Coast than the West.”

“Stephen, there’s more—”

“Your business. I understand it wouldn’t be easy to give that up. You and David are friends as well as partners. But you could find something to do in Washington. Maybe not as exciting as what you do now. Police work, or working for a private detective agency. Plenty of sleuthing to do in the land of political intrigue.”

He’s not letting me get a word in. Maybe in his excitement he’s forgotten that we don’t have a normal girlfriend/boyfriend situation. Maybe he’s so excited about the big boost to his career, so flattered to have the opportunity that he’s blind to everything else. Should I burst his bubble now? Or should I let him go on thinking that there might be a chance I’d actually be able to make a move like that with him?

Like with Frey a few nights ago, I’m dumbstruck. Why is this happening now?

“Hey. Is that a new ring? It’s beautiful. A Christmas present?”

I don’t realize I’ve been twisting Sani’s ring around my finger until Stephen mentions it. He takes my hand and holds it up for a closer look. “Silver and turquoise? Really nice craftsmanship. Native American?”

It’s such an abrupt change of subject, I bark a little laugh. It comes out forced and self-conscious to my ear but evidently not to Stephen’s. His gaze remains curious. “Navajo. I didn’t realize you knew anything about Native American jewelry.”

“It’s Susan’s passion. I guess I’ve picked up a few things along the way.”

Susan is his sister. A witch with the Watcher organization and one of the reasons we met. She and her sister witches made it possible for me to penetrate the astral plain and dispose of Belinda Burke. Because of that connection, Stephen was kidnapped and held to assure my presence at the “trial.”

“Does Susan know of your job offer?”

He shakes his head. “I plan to talk to her tomorrow.” He pulls me close to him. “Tonight is for us.”

Then we’re kissing and one thing leads to another. We don’t make it upstairs to the bed this time, the couch in the living room is convenient and comfortable.

He is right about one thing. The sex Stephen and I have is certainly remarkable. Maybe the best sex ever.

You haven’t given Frey a chance. That damnable voice is back. It’s been too long. You thought sex with him was pretty damn good, too.

I almost say shut the fuck up, out loud, until I catch myself.

And then Stephen is busy with fingers and tongue and I don’t have to.

STEPHEN HAS JUST LEFT TO SEE HIS SISTER AND I’M suffering from sensory overload. His smell fills my nostrils, the warmth of lovemaking and feeding sends heat to my skin.

Still, I didn’t get up to see him out. I couldn’t. Very little sleep and a body numb from a lot of sex leaves me inert, snuggled under the covers while Stephen jumps out of bed, showers, and takes off with the promise to be back before dark.

Where is he getting the energy? A day in transit to get home, a night of energetic lovemaking, very little food, no coffee even, and he’s bright and chipper and whistling his way out the door.

Probably from his excitement about this new job offer, my little voice replies.

And I think it’s right. While Stephen didn’t push for a commitment from me, he did manage to work into every conversation how great it could be for us in Washington. If he sensed my lack of enthusiasm, he didn’t mention that, either.

It might have been better if he had. It might have been better to make me put into words just what it is that has me so ambivalent about something he wants so much.

What would I have said? How could I have made him understand how impossible it would for me to hide my true nature in such a media-saturated city? Especially as the consort of a high-profile reporter?

I couldn’t.

I pull a pillow over my head and stifle a groan.

The telephone on the bedside table rings. I toss the pillow aside and reach for the receiver. “Hello.”

“Anna, it’s Max.”

Great. “What’s up?”

“Have you talked to Culebra?”

“Not since Christmas Eve.”

“You hurt his feelings, you know.”

“I hurt his feelings? How? By being shocked to find out about his past?”

Max answers with a hiss into the receiver so pregnant with recrimination, it’s like a slap.

Maybe because I’m tired, maybe because my head swims with too many uncertainties about my own life, maybe because I’m looking for an excuse to vent, the words spew out. “So, Max, tell me. What should I have done? Pat him on the shoulder and say it’s all right that he was an assassin? That it’s all right that he killed indiscriminately on the orders of a drug lord? That it’s all right that it led to the massacre of his own family? Just tell me. What is the proper reaction?”

“So you’re going to write him off?” Max’s heated reply comes just as quickly. “Just like that. You can be such a bitch, you know that, Anna? He’s done a lot for you. Made it possible for you to pretend to be human as long as you have. Kept you from turning into a predator. Without Culebra in your life, where do you think you’d be now? Probably dead—oh, excuse me, really dead because you’d have had the Revengers after you the first time you left a corpse. Yeah, there are vampire hunters out there, remember? And I swear to god, right now I have half a mind to turn you over to them myself.”

“Jesus, Max—”

He cuts me off in midsentence. “Save it.”

And disconnects.

Whoa.

I stare at the receiver in my hand.

Since when has Max become Culebra’s champion? I’m tempted to call him back, remind him that he has a strange attitude for someone who works for an agency whose main purpose is to put narcos out of business. Culebra helped him do that job once, okay, but that doesn’t balance the scales. How could Max think that it did?

And what in the hell does he want me to do? If Culebra is suffering a crisis of conscience, good. He should be.

And killing doesn’t bother you? The annoying voice in the back of my head chirps up once again. How many people are dead because of you? How many supernatural creatures, your own kind, have you eliminated? How many humans? You had reasons. But you killed nonetheless. So exactly how different are you from Culebra?

It’s not the same thing. It wasn’t indiscriminate. It was never indiscriminate.

Was it?

You worked for Warren Williams and his Watcher organization once. He used you like a loaded gun, pointed you at the target and pulled the trigger. Wasn’t that indiscriminate?

Am I really arguing with myself?

I thrust away the covers and get out of bed. May as well. I doubt I’ll be getting any sleep. I’m sore and sticky and pissed. I head to the shower and crank on the hot water. When the room is filled with steam, I step under the spray and let the heat scald my skin red. I soap up and scrub. Still, thoughts keep spinning themselves around inside my brain like a dog chasing its tail.

Why do things have to change? A few days before Christmas, I was simply looking forward to Stephen coming home. Since then I’ve had a confrontation with Culebra, found out my parents are selling their house, been presented with an out-of-the-blue proposal from Frey and blindsided with Stephen’s announcement that he wanted me to move with him to the other side of the fucking country.

And even before all that happened, I wasn’t happy. I felt sorry for myself because I was alone on Christmas Eve. My family’s visit was nice, but over too soon.