Kylie Chan - Red Phoenix

‘I will do my best,’ John said gently. ‘What does your home look like? Where is it?’

‘It’s green and crystal and beautiful,’ I said. ‘It’s pure and bright and joyful. It’s full of love and kindness. And I miss it so much I want to die.’

‘I wish you hadn’t done this to me,’ the Emma part of me added softly. ‘I can see it. It will haunt my dreams until I find it.’

‘I’m sorry I did this to you, Emma,’ the Tiger said. ‘I feel your pain.’

‘Simone and John are enough for me until I find it,’ I said. ‘And poor Leo, who is scared to death of me.’

‘Will you leave us if you find it?’ John said, his voice full of grief. ‘Will you leave us if you find your home?’

‘I don’t know,’ I whispered. I shook myself. ‘John, Leo’s outside the door. He has the stuff. He’s terrified. But he needs to face his fear. He needs to do this. He will have to get used to me, now that I am here. Let him in. Ms Kwan, let him in, and hold his hand. I need to talk to him.’

I still couldn’t see anything. But I heard the door open. Ms Kwan moved and Leo bellowed with terror.

‘Hold, Leo,’ I said firmly, with both voices. I felt him freeze. I saw his face with my eyes closed. I saw right through him. I saw his dread.

‘Approach,’ I said. ‘Don’t be afraid.’

He stood still for a long time. ‘Kwan Yin,’ I said. She nodded, and moved to help him. I blindly sensed them approach me. Every step was a million miles for Leo.

‘Touch me,’ I said softly. ‘Please, Leo, touch me.’

It was the hardest thing he’d ever done in his life. It took reserves of courage that he didn’t even know he possessed. He truly was terrified of me. The poor man was more than scared of snakes; he had a phobia. He was mortally afraid of them…of us. But he reached out and touched me anyway, helped by Kwan Yin, who understood.

‘Let go, Lady,’ I said softly. Leo flinched. He was sure I would strike him down and kill him.

‘You are a stupid asshole, Leo. It’s just me.’ And I showed him. I showed him right through.

‘Holy shit,’ Leo said quietly.

‘You know, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you use any sort of bad language?’ I said with delight. ‘For a Navy guy you really don’t fit the stereotype.’

‘I try not to fit any sort of stereotype,’ he growled. His voice softened. ‘What are you, Emma?’

‘Apart from what you see, Leo, which I can’t see myself right now, ‘cause I’m completely blind,’ I said, ‘I have absolutely no idea.’

‘You can’t see?’

‘Not a thing,’ I said. ‘You’ll have to tell me what I look like later.’

‘You don’t want to know.’

‘Is it one hundred per cent snake?’ I said, and turned my head under Leo’s hand.

‘I wish. That would be a major improvement on what I’m looking at.’

‘Do you want me to take a photo, Emma?’ John said.

‘No way. I’m handling this now, don’t freak me out.’ I pulled myself together. ‘Whoa, I’m okay. I really am. I feel fine.’ I turned to Leo. ‘Are you okay, Leo, dear Leo?’

I blindly saw Leo nod. ‘Yes, my Lady.’ John sighed with relief.

‘We have things to do,’ I said briskly. ‘Parents to reassure, demons to kill, things like that. How will we get me back again?’

‘Can I take my hand off?’ Leo said.

‘Sure,’ I said, and his hand moved away.

‘I thought you’d be cold and slimy. But you’re warm and dry and rather nice to touch,’ Leo said.

‘Most reptiles are,’ John said, across from me. ‘What we will do, Emma, is the Tiger will take his claws out of your head.’

‘Ouch,’ I said. ‘That will hurt like hell. You have your claws in my head?’

‘Metaphorically speaking,’ the Tiger said. ‘I’m not actually physically touching you at all right now.’

‘Still feel the same way, Tiger?’ I said.

‘Not so sure now, my Lady,’ the Tiger said. ‘I think it would take a very special sort of guy to love what I’m looking at right now.’

‘Good thing I have one then,’ I said, and I felt John nodding. I felt his amused reaction. Then I felt a jolt of shock. ‘Wait! Tiger. Hold. Don’t do it yet.’

They all hesitated, wondering.

I turned very carefully to face John. I saw him, still blind.

On the other side of the table was a Turtle. Its head was fierce and demonic, with a frilled scaly mane around it; like a cross between a lion’s and a dragon’s, but much uglier. Its black shell stretched forever. Its enormous shining dark eyes watched me with amusement. With John’s eyes. I suddenly wanted to weep with joy, but the snake eyes wouldn’t let me. He was the most beautiful and the most horrifying and the most wonderful thing I had ever seen.

‘I can see you, John. I can see all of you. My God, but you are ugly. No wonder Simone was scared of you.’ I paused. ‘Simone should see me, John. She needs to understand as well.’

‘What we are looking at now is different from what we saw before,’ John said, and the Turtle spoke. The sight took my breath away. ‘What we have now is a halfway point between Emma and the Serpent, artificially forced on you by Bai Hu. It would not be a good idea to show this to Simone. I will talk to her later, and explain.’

‘Michael too,’ I said softly.

The Turtle nodded without speaking. I wanted to smile but I couldn’t. ‘Damn, John, but you are the cutest thing I have ever seen in my entire life.’

‘You’re pretty goddamn cute yourself,’ John shot back. The Turtle grinned and I wanted to laugh. ‘Those black scales are incredibly attractive.’

‘Cute is not a word I would be using right here and now,’ Leo growled.

I took a deep breath. It felt very strange to be breathing through both forms. ‘Okay, Tiger,’ I said firmly, ‘do it.’

The world exploded into a haze of agony. He ripped my brain out of the top of my head, pulling my eyeballs with it. He tore the skin on my face from my skull.

And then the pain was gone.

‘Open your eyes, Emma,’ Ms Kwan said.

I opened my eyes and quickly checked myself. Perfectly normal. The Tiger sat next to me on my right. Leo stood between him and me. Ms Kwan sat across from me. John sat on the other side of her. They all watched me with varying degrees of incredulity.

Leo bent over me, took my hand and kissed me on the cheek. ‘I’m sorry, Emma,’ he whispered.

I squeezed his hand, then touched his cheek. ‘I love you dearly, Leo, you know I wouldn’t hurt you.’ I looked into his eyes. ‘You were really brave. You are the bravest man I know. I saw what that took.’

He smiled down at me and his eyes sparkled. ‘Thanks, Emma.’

‘You were going to do some other tests? I hope they won’t hurt as much as that.’ I grinned at the Tiger. ‘Those are some serious virtual claws you have there.’

‘Can I stay and watch?’ Leo said.

‘If Emma doesn’t mind, I don’t,’ John said.

‘Of course not.’

‘Good.’ John pulled the bowl of water towards him. ‘Watch this.’ He put his hand over the water. It quickly boiled. Steam rose from it. ‘Now.’ The water made a sharp crackling sound as it instantly turned to ice. ‘Next.’ The water immediately melted, then rose out of the bowl in a glistening lump.

‘Whoa,’ Leo said.

‘Drop it on the Tiger,’ I said. ‘Wash his dirty mind.’

John and the Tiger both laughed softly. The water went back into the bowl. John put the bowl in front of me. ‘Try.’

I concentrated. Nothing happened.

‘Put your hand in the water, see if you can warm it,’ John said.

I did. I concentrated. Again, nothing.

‘Nothing there,’ John said, and the disappointment was obvious in his voice.