Майкл Бишоп - The Final Frontier - Stories of Exploring Space, Colonizing the Universe, and First Contact

Kamilah shook her head. Her medallion had gone completely black.

“A hundred and thirty-three people have jumped to me since Nuevo Sueño. How many times do you think I’ve had this conversation, Kamilah?”

Kamilah bit her lip.

“Ah, if only these walls could talk.” The Godspeed ’s laugh sounded like someone dropping silver spoons. “The things they have seen.”

—is she all right?—buzzed plus .

“Here’s something I’ll bet you didn’t know,” said the Godspeed . “A fun fact. Now that Adel has replaced Upwood among our little company, everyone on board is under thirty.”

The four of them digested this information in astonished silence.

“Wait a minute,” said Meri. “What about Jonman?”

“He would like you to believe he’s older but he’s the same age as Kamilah.” She reached into the pocket of her greatcoat and pulled out a scrap of digitex. A new window opened on the wall; it contained the birth certificate of Jon Haught Shillaber. “Twenty-eight standard.”

“All of us?” said Jarek. “That’s an pretty amazing coincidence.”

“A coincidence?” She waved the birth certificate away. “You don’t know how hard I schemed to arrange it.” She chuckled. “I was practically diabolical.”

“Speedy,” said Meri carefully, “you’re starting to worry us.”

“Worry?”

“Worry,” said Jarek.

“Why, because I make jokes? Because I have a flare for the dramatic?” She bowed low and gave them an elaborate hand flourish. “I am but mad north-northwest: when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.”

minus buzzed—time to be afraid—

“So,” said the Godspeed , “we seem to be having a morale problem. I know my feelings have been hurt. I think we need to come together, work on some common project. Build ourselves back into a team.” She directed her gaze at Adel. “What do you say?”

“Sure.”

“Then I suggest that we put on a play.”

Meri moaned.

“Yes, that will do nicely.” The Godspeed clapped her hands, clearly pleased at the prospect. “We’ll need to a pick a script. Adel, I understand you’ve had some acting experience so I’m going to appoint you and Lihong to serve on the selection committee with me. I think poor Sister needs to get out and about more.”

“Don’t let Lihong pick,” said Meri glumly. “How many plays are there about praying?”

“Come now, Meri,” said the Godspeed . “Give her a chance. I think you’ll be surprised.”

There are two kinds of pilgrimage, as commonly defined. One is a journey to a specific, usually sacred place; it takes place and then ends. The other is less about a destination and more about a spiritual quest. When we decide to jump to a threshold, we most often begin our pilgrimages intending to get to the Godspeed or the Big D or the Bisous Bisous , stay for some length of time and then return to our ordinary lives. However, as time passes on board we inevitably come to realize—sometimes to our chagrin—that we have been infected with an irrepressible yearning to seek out the numinous, wherever and however it might be found.

Materialists don’t have much use for the notion of a soul. They prefer to locate individuality in the mind, which emerges from the brain but cannot exist separately from it. They maintain that information must be communicated to the brain through the senses, and only through the senses. But materialists have yet to offer a rigorous explanation of what happens during those few seconds of a jump when the original has ceased to exist and the scan from it has yet to be reassembled. Because during the brief interval when there are neither senses nor brain nor mind, we all seem to receive some subtle clue about our place in the universe.

This is why there are so few materialists.

Adel had been having dreams. They were not bad dreams, merely disturbing. In one, he was lost in a forest where people grew instead of trees. He stumbled past shrubby little kids he’d gone to school with and great towering grownups like his parents and Uncle Durwin and President Adriana. He knew he had to keep walking because if he stopped he would grow roots and raise his arms up to the sun like all the other tree people, but he was tired, so very tired.

In another, he was standing backstage watching a play he’d never heard of before and Sister Lihong tapped him on the shoulder and told him that Gavrila had called in sick and that he would have to take her part and then she pushed him out of the wings and he was onstage in front of a sellout audience, every one of which was Speedy, and he stumbled across the stage to the bed where Jarek waited for him, naked Jarek, and then Adel realized that he was naked too, and he climbed under the covers because he was cold and embarrassed, and Jarek kept staring at him because he, Adel, was supposed to say his line but he didn’t know the next line or any line and so he did the one thing he could think to do, which was to kiss Jarek, on the mouth, and then his tongue brushed the ridges of Jarek’s teeth and all the Speedys in the audience gave him a standing ovation…

… which woke him up.

Adel blinked. He lay in bed between Meri and Jarek; both were still asleep. They were under a yellow sheet that had pink kites and blue clouds on it. Jarek’s arm had dropped loosely across Adel’s waist. In the dim light he could see that Meri’s lips were parted and for a while he listened to the seashore whisper of her breathing. He remembered that something had changed last night between the three of them.

Something, but what?

Obviously his two lovers weren’t losing any sleep over it. Speedy had begun to bring the lights up in Meri’s room so it had to be close to morning chime. Adel lifted his head but couldn’t see the clock without disturbing his bedmates, so he tried to guess the time. If the ceiling was set to gain twenty lumens a minute and Speedy started at 0600, then it was… he couldn’t do the math. After six in the morning, anyway.

The something was Jarek— yes . Adel realized that he’d enjoyed having sex with Jarek just a bit more than with Meri. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed her too. There had been plenty of enjoying going on, that was for sure. A thrilling night all around. But Adel could be rougher with Jarek than he was with Meri. He didn’t have to hold anything back. Sex with Jarek was a little like wrestling, only with orgasms.

Adel had been extremely doubtful about sleeping with both Meri and Jarek, until Meri had made it plain that was the only way he was ever going to get into her bed. The normal buzz of his opposites had risen to a scream; their deliberations had gotten so shrill that he’d been forced to mute their input. Not that he didn’t know what they were thinking, of course; they were him.

Jarek had been the perfect gentleman at first; they had taken turns pleasuring Meri until the day before yesterday when she had guided Adel’s hand to Jarek’s erect cock. An awkward moment, but then Adel still felt like he was all thumbs and elbows when it came to sex anyway. Jarek talked continually while he made love, so Adel was never in doubt as to what Jarek wanted him to do. And because he trusted Jarek, Adel began to talk too. And then to moan, whimper, screech, and laugh out loud.

Adel felt extraordinarily adult, fucking both a man and a woman. He tried the word out in the gloom, mouthing it silently. I fuck , you fuck , he, she, or it fucks , we fuck , you all fuck , they fuck . The only thing that confused him about losing his virginity was not that his sexual identity was now slightly blurry; it was his raging appetite. Now that he knew what he had been missing, he wanted to have sex with everyone here on the Godspeed and then go back to Harvest and fuck his way through Great Randall Science and Agricultural College and up and down Crown Edge. Well, that wasn’t quite true. He didn’t particularly want to see the Manmans naked and the thought of sleeping with his parents made him queasy and now that he was an experienced lover, he couldn’t see himself on top, underneath or sideways with his ex, Gavrila. But still. He’d been horny back on Harvest but now he felt like he might spin out of control. Was it perverted to want so much sex?