Tony Ballantyne - Recursion

Nicolas carried a chair from the lounge into the room, knocking it on the doorframe as he did so. He placed it in the middle of the room and sat down on it. Katie went to the window and looked out. Alison unscrewed the top of the bottle and looked around her.

“Cups,” she said.

“Here,” said Eva. There was a stack of disposable cups by her bed. She shook them apart and handed them out.

Alison poured them each a measure of vanilla whisky. The clear liquid smelled sickly sweet, and seemed to want to stay stuck to the plastic sides of the cup. The four conspirators looked around at each other. Alison wriggled back on the bed so that she leaned against the wall, her bottom on Eva’s pillow, her feet stretched out across the duvet. Nicolas sat in his chair in the middle of the room, sipping at his whisky, grinning at the two women on the bed and thinking heaven knows what. Katie lurked by the doorway-keeping watch, Eva realized.

Alison spoke first. “We’re escaping first thing tomorrow.”

“How?” Eva asked. “Where are we going?”

“We don’t know. We’ll toss coins to decide. It’s the only way we can be sure that we’re not being second-guessed by the Watcher.”

“You must have some plan.”

“Several excellent ones. All so perfect they can’t be ours. So we’re going to extemporize.” Alison smiled.

“Extemporize?”

“Make it up as we go along.” Alison wriggled again suddenly and messed up the duvet. She kicked her tiny feet up and down on the bed.

“Oh, I feel so much better than this morning. It’s amazing what a hot bath can do.” She flashed Nicolas a dirty look. “Or a shower, eh, Nicolas?”

“Oh yes,” said Nicolas. He looked at his feet, confused.

“Have you ever thought about what it must be like for the Watcher?” Alison said, glancing at Nicolas with a suppressed smile. “It can access all that information. It knows everything, and yet it’s impotent. What can it do?” She wriggled a little more on the bed, shifting her breasts beneath her cotton top. Eva noticed how closely Nicolas watched them.

“She does it deliberately, doesn’t she?” said the voice. “That’s how she keeps him following her around, like a pet.”

“I thought that was obvious,” Eva muttered.

“She’s doing it again,” said Katie from her position by the door. “Did you see her, how she relaxed and went all blank?”

“I did, Katie,” said Alison. She gazed at Eva. “You just heard the voice, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Eva said uncomfortably.

“What did it say?”

Eva hesitated a moment.

“It thought you were right about the Watcher,” she lied.

“Too true,” said Alison. “Katie thinks it’s evolved in all those databases, all those computer networks and so on. It has become aware. Now it wants to stretch its wings, it wants to do things. But how? It’s far more intelligent than we are. It must be; it knows far more than we do. What if our machines and our senses are no longer enough for it? What is it going to do if it wants more powerful eyes and arms?”

“Build its own, I suppose,” replied Eva. “Oh. That thing on the news earlier today…”

“A mathematical expression that describes itself,” Katie said from the doorway.

Alison interrupted her. “And no one knows for sure where it came from. It just turned up on a computer.”

“Maybe that man; what was his name…?”

“Kay Lovegrove,” Katie said.

“Isn’t it possible that Kay Lovegrove wrote it?”

“It was the Watcher,” said Nicolas. “It’s beginning to shape the world into a fashion that suits itself. What does that tell you about us? About humans? What is it going to do to us?”

Alison stared at him. Outside the rain rattled against the windows and Eva stared out at the limes. She heard the voice.

“He’s right. What is the Watcher going to do to you? It’s watching you at the moment, you know. It can see you.”

“Eva! Speak to us, Eva!”

Suddenly, Alison was kneeling in front of the bed, gazing up at her. Eva didn’t remember her moving there.

“What’s the matter?” asked Eva, confused.

“I thought you were going to black out that time. What did it say?”

“It said the Watcher was looking at us now. It said it could see us.”

Katie was jumping up and down by the doorway. She seemed very excited.

“What is it, Katie?” Nicolas called.

Katie was having trouble speaking. Nicolas moved up beside her and put one hand on her arm. “Deep breaths, Katie. Deep breaths.”

“I think I understand!” Katie gasped. “Eva. Get off the bed. Go and stand over there.”

Katie was fighting for breath, such was her excitement. She pointed toward the opposite corner of the room.

Eva looked at Alison.

“Do it,” she said. Hesitantly, Eva obeyed. She moved across to the space by the tiny desk. Two magazines, bought for her at the village by one of the helpers, sat by her elbow. She looked at their glossy covers, embarrassed and confused.

“Ask the voice to speak,” said Katie, excitedly.

Eva nodded and coughed a little.

“Er, hello? Are you there?” she said. Nothing.

“I can’t hear anything,” she said.

“I know. We can tell,” said Alison.

“Now move back to the bed,” said Katie. Eva walked back to the bed.

“Look out the window.”

The voice spoke. “Katie has worked it out. I think I understand myself, now. I never knew before.”

Eva turned pale. She spun slowly around to face the room. The other three looked eagerly at her. “It says Katie has worked it out,” she said.

Alison and Nicolas looked at Katie. She gave a huge beam and spoke. “It’s the limes. She hears the voice every time she looks at the limes.”

Eva was shivering with fear. Alison and Nicolas jumped up from the bed and went to look through the window.

“It’s difficult to see anything through this rain,” said Nicolas. “One gust and they vanish again.”

“Why can’t we hear anything?” Alison asked.

“I don’t know,” Katie said.

“What is it then?” asked Nicolas.

“I don’t know that, either.” Katie was losing her shyness again, Eva noticed, now that she had something to concentrate on.

“Why don’t you ask the voice?” Alison interjected.

“Oh yes, that’s a good idea.” Katie and Nicolas turned to gaze at Eva. She shivered again.

“I don’t want to,” she said. “It frightens me.”

“Don’t be so silly. Turn and face the window.”

Katie was so uncharacteristically brusque, it took Eva quite aback. Hesitantly, she obeyed. She turned and looked out of the window.

“Who are you? Are you the Watcher?” she asked.

“No. I’m…I think I’m…I think I was your brother.”

“My brother?”

Katie began hugging herself with delight.

“Yes! I should have guessed. I’ve read about this. It’s your addiction. It’s the MTPH! You’re having flashbacks!”

“Flashbacks? No. It’s not my brother. He didn’t sound like that. Anyway, he would know me…”

Alison was impatient. “Why? You’re not taking the drug anymore, are you? It isn’t constantly regenerating the personality in your mind. But that doesn’t mean that you haven’t worn the habit of him into the paths of your brain.”

“Permanently altered the chemistry,” Katie interrupted.

“Whatever. Something in the sight of the limes out there is reminding you of him. Now what could it be?”

“I watched the limes as I waited for him to die,” Eva said softly. She felt strangely calm. She ought to be upset, but there was nothing.

“It’s your brother’s ghost,” said Nicolas.