Руди Рюкер - Master Of Space And Time

"One could argue that the world is perfect just as it is," said Bitter. "The world is the sum of all our wishes about it. And all of us are aspects of the One."

"I understand," said Nancy softly. "I understand, Alwin."

"Well, I sure don't," I said, rising to my feet. My skirt was rucked up awkwardly around my waist. I patted at my big hips, trying to smooth the fabric down. "Come on, Dr. Bitter, less talk and more action. Let's go get those gluons."

"All right. I'll make a phone call first."

Nancy and I said goodbye to Serena while Bitter made his call. Sybil kept staring at me in curiosity. She seemed fascinated by the idea of a man trying to move a woman's body around.

"Don't you like being a woman?" she asked me finally.

"No, it's too hard. There's a fairy tale about that too, isn't there?"

"That's right," said Sybil. " 'The Farmer Who Would Keep House.' " Her soft eyes were dancing and her broad mouth was amused. It was hard to stay mad at this woman.

"Can you watch Serena just a little longer?" asked Nancy.

"I have to go meet a friend," said Sybil. "But my daughter Ida will be home from school soon. She'll keep an eye on Serena. Make a good wish, Nancy!"

"It's all set," said Bitter, coming back into the room. "Tri Lu has some yellow gluons you can have for one million dollars."

"Let's go."

Alwin and Nancy and I set out on foot. Lu's office wasn't far.

25. I Do It

Tri Lu had big teeth, a skinny yellow face, and an unruly shock of dry, black hair. It was love at first sight.

"Ah Joe Fletcher you?" Long, jerky laughter. "You very lucky!" More laughter. He stuck out his thumb and pinkie and put his hand to his ear — miming a telephone call. "I talk Dr. Baumgard. He very angry you."

"Has he called the police?"

"He want information you promise. He want right away. You sit my lap now, Joe. I call." He was laughing again, pulling in lungfuls of air between each spasm. Hohawhaha-gasp-hohawhahahagasp. Finally it turned into a coughing fit and he buried his face in his hands. He was embarrassed by how much he wanted me.

"Are you sure this is the right guy?" I asked old Bitter.

"Yes. He's our finest experimentalist. If he can't help you, no one can."

"I don't like the way he looks at you, Joe," said Nancy.

Nervously I reached up to ruffle my hair. Tri Lu had recovered now. He was watching me. He was ready to eat me alive, drumsticks first.

"Why don't you two wait outside," I told Nancy and Alwin. "Dr. Lu and I will work this out."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Please leave us alone till I call you. Go for a walk or something."

They went out and I closed the office door. I leaned against it, hands behind my back, and gave Tri Lu my biggest smile. He smiled back.

"Come here, Joe. I dial."

I went and sat in Lu's lap while he dialed Baumgard's number. It seemed like the easiest thing to do. Hell, I had nothing to be scared of. I had twenty pounds on the guy, easy.

"I hope I'm not too heavy for you, Dr. Lu."

He handed me the receiver and threw his arms around me. "Good fat American cowgirl. I love."

"Hello?" quacked the little voice on the phone. "Baumgard here."

"Dana. This is Joe Fletcher." Lu had his hands on my breasts. The nipples were starting to tingle. It was hard to concentrate on the secret of the universe. "I'm in Tri Lu's office, and he said I should call you, so…" I broke off in a squeal as Lu's hungry Vietnamese fingers dug too far into my ripe American flesh.

"You sound odd, Fletcher. Has something happened to you?"

"I'll say. Never mind. I wanted to call you about the reason why things exist."

"The experiment was a success?"

"Yes. The universe is a sort of perpetual motion machine. It funnels energy from the future back to the past. The universe is a self-excited system."

A pause. Then, "That's not enough, Fletcher. Where does the whole system come from at all? The world-snake bites its tail — fine. Where did the snake come from?"

Lu was trying to force his hand between my thighs now. I had my knees pressed tight together, but I could feel myself weakening. This skinny little guy was awfully cute. "What did you say, Dana?"

"Where does the self-generating universe come from?"

"Uh — I don't know. I didn't ask. I just looked at the Big Bang. I helped the universe make the Big Bang."

"This won't do, Fletcher. I'm in trouble over the missing gluons. I should call the police and —"

"Would you take a million dollars?" Lu was straining his face upward toward mine for a kiss. I let him have one. He tasted nice. I noticed I still had the phone in my hand. Oh, yes, Baumgard. "I'll give you a million dollars," I repeated and hung up.

I made sure the office door was locked, and then I let Tri Lu take off all my clothes. He swarmed onto me like an excited tick. I was huge and beautiful. We made love. I was glad to finally do it. I was glad to be a sexy woman.

An hour passed, maybe more. The office windows had Venetian blinds, and the afternoon sun was striping us with shadows. I sat up, remembering Nancy. Time to get dressed again, time to cover up.

I watched Tri Lu stepping awkwardly into his underwear. I loved him. He was a person, a person who wanted to be happy. I was happy, but I still wanted something more. I wanted yellow gluons.

"I have two million dollars," I said, taking the packets of bills from my purse. "One for you, one for Dana."

"Silly paper. Not worth like good love me you." He gave me one of his all-purpose smiles. His long hair stuck straight up from the top of his head.

"Oh, Lu." I hugged him one last time. "Thank you so much."

"I thank more. Soft cowgirl." He kissed his fingers and touched my breasts. I patted his cheek and then took out my compact to check my makeup. Hopelessly smeared. Nancy would know. Well, let her. I had to use my femaleness at least once, didn't I?

We left the money on Lu's desk and took the elevator down to the basement laboratory. There was a giant linear accelerator there, a silver tube stretching off down a tunnel leading out of the basement. Our end of the accelerator — the business end — was surrounded by a thicket of machinery. To one side of the machinery was a table littered with papers and rubber bands.

"Quark and gluon," Lu said, stepping over to the table. "Look, Joe." He handed me a little model, a single band of rubber with rubber-cement globs at either end. The blackened globs were the size of acorns.

"Like quark," said Lu, pointing to one of the globs. "Gluon connect." He strummed the rubber band.

I toyed with the little model for a minute. As long as the quark-globs were near each other, they experienced no particular attraction. But if you tried to pull them apart, the connecting band stretched tighter and tighter, drawing the quarks back together.

"If cut here," said Lu, pointing at the middle of the band, "make two new quark."

If the gluon was a band holding the quarks together, the quarks could be thought of as the ends of the gluon-band. Cutting the band would make two new loose ends, two new quarks.

"Instead I pinch off," said Lu, handing me a different model. It was like the first one, except here the connecting gluon-band had been folded back to meet itself and form a loop. If you pinched the loop free, you'd get a circular gluon-band, a free gluon with no quarks attached.

"Two year work," said Lu, starting to laugh again. He was handing me a little magnetic bottle from a cabinet by the accelerator. "One thirtieth gram yellow gluons. Million dollar." His laughter slid into another coughing fit.

I opened the little bottle and looked inside. The gluons were yellow as the sun in water, yellow as Lu, yellow as an ear of corn. Hot, golden yellow. I put the bottle in my purse.