Джеффри Лорд - Return To Kaldak

He was escorting Councilor Geyrna. She would be in her mid-forties now, and her red hair was turning gray. She was still a handsome woman, with the full bosom and ready smile Blade remembered in the fifteen year old merchant's daughter who'd loved the chief's son. He wondered what might have happened between her and Bairam, to make her divorce him and stay in Kaldak, rather than share his exile. Had he played around a little too freely with other women? That would be like the man, Blade thought.

Geyrna had her own personal staff, headed by a striking dark-haired woman. She must have been close to six feet tall, with a magnificent figure, although her face was too long and her nose too big for classic beauty. She carried herself like a thoroughbred mare. Blade had to force himself not to stare.

Then the inspection party was past, and the drillmaster was shouting, «Company-right face! Flag Guard-lead!» As the Flag Guard took their position at the head of the company, the band struck up, and the drillmaster gave his final order.

«Forward march!»

The company passed in review. Blade kept perfect step, and the angle of his laser rifle never varied by a single millimeter. He still could not quite get the dark-haired woman out of his mind. He hadn't seen her before in this Dimension, he was sure. Did she remind him of someone he'd known elsewhere? Perhaps-there'd been so many women.

After the ceremonies, the School Commander announced an unexpected half-day's holiday. Blade was taking a shower and wondering what to do with the free time when one of his comrades stuck his head into the bathroom.

«Huh, Voros. You free tonight?»

«So far, Kabo. Why?»

«Good. Commander Baliza's inviting a few of us to dinner in her quarters.»

«Baliza?»

Kabo grinned. «The chief of Councilor Geyrna's staff. Remember her?» His hands outlined a well-built woman.

«Now I do. Dinner, you say?»

Kabo leered. «Don't get your hopes or anything else up, Voros. She's cast-iron all the way through and all the way up and down. Save your balls for women who'll give them back when they're through.»

Blade tried to look innocent. «I won't do anything without orders.»

Kabo laughed. «Good. If the evening breaks up early, knock on my door. We can go into town and visit the Golden Munfan. They say the dancers there are even better than Rokhana.»

«I'll believe that when I see it.»

Baliza's dinner party started off rather bleakly. Blade felt rather like a small boy at a fancy tea party, watched over by a particularly grim nurse. From the look on the faces around him, he wasn't the only one. Baliza sat at the head of the table, her face so expressionless that it was hard to think of her as alive, let alone a woman. She wore civilian clothes cut even more severely than her uniform, and her hair was bound up tightly on top of her head. It made her look positively horse-faced. At least the food and drink were good, and Blade was hungry enough to let that make up for the frigid atmosphere.

Over desert Baliza began to relax, drawing out each of the cadets on what he or she had done before joining the army. She saved Blade for last, so he was able to organize his lies about a loss of memory even better than usual. So why did he get the feeling afterward that she was skeptical? It was a vague feeling, not much he could really put his finger on, rather like the feeling that he'd seen Baliza or someone like her before.

Added together, the two vague feelings gave him one which wasn't vague at all. He wanted to see as little of Baliza as he could manage, because he didn't want her to see much of him. He'd heard that Geyrna carried more weight on the Council of Nine than any other three members put together. If that was so, the suspicions of anyone who had Geyrna's ear could be much more dangerous to Blade than even High Commander Sidas's.

When they got up from the table, Blade headed for the balcony outside. There he might stay out of Baliza's sight for the rest of the evening. Even if she came out on the balcony, the light there was poor. Baliza's quarters were on the third floor, and the balcony faced a lightless garden.

Blade was noticing that the garden would provide excellent cover when he heard footsteps behind him. They sounded almost like Baliza's usual brisk stride, but not quite. He turned. There was enough light to show him that she now wore soft sandals instead of boots. She'd also made a few other changes. She wore a knee-length skirt and a snug top which left her shoulders bare. Blade couldn't help staring at her fine breasts outlined under the cloth, and her well-formed bare legs.

Baliza stepped closer. Somehow Blade wasn't surprised to discover that she was now wearing perfume.

«Hello, commander,» said Blade, feeling that he ought to do more than stand and wait for her to make her move. «Would you like to go down and walk in the garden?»

«Does it remind you of home?» she said with a smile.

«It reminds me of-somewhere I've been before,» he said. «Whether that place was my home or not, I don't. . know.»

«Do you think you ever will?»

«I can't say. I know that I'm quite happy where I am now. Happy enough not to spend much time worrying about the past.» He hoped that would turn her aside from this line of talk before the matter of the truth-seer came up.

He was disappointed. «Perhaps you are happy enough. Certainly you ought to be. You have done well for Kaldak and for yourself. Perhaps you will do even better in time. But what of those you may have left behind, in the darkness where your memory does not go?»

Blade hid his uneasiness. «I do not know that there are any such people.»

«So you say.»

Blade pretended to be indignant. «I hope you are not calling me a liar, commander. Even from you, I will not take that willingly.»

«I do not call you a liar.» She stepped closer to him. «I believe you are telling the truth, as you know it. But how much of it can you be sure that you know?»

«Not very much.»

She was now so close that he could have taken her in his arms if he'd wanted to. Certainly she seemed ready for it. To Blade's heightened senses, the smell of her perfume and her arousal together was overpowering.

«Then can you be sure there is no woman, no child left alone in a place you have forgotten, thinking you are dead, grieving for you? Can you?» She emphasized her words further by pressing herself against his chest. Her hair was unbound and it whispered softly as she moved her head.

Blade decided to yield to the inevitable. If he exhausted her with lovemaking, it might turn her aside from this rather alarming line of questioning she was pursuing. He slipped a hand inside the waist of her skirt. It fell on the curve of bare buttocks. She was wearing nothing under the skirt.

She sighed with obvious pleasure at the feel of his hand on her. «I am sorry. Perhaps I am asking more of you than you can give. I hope not, though,» She giggled, then was serious again. «It is just that I feel sorry for anyone you may have left behind. My mother was killed when I was nine. I wanted for nothing, because I was the Sky Master Blade's daughter, but-«

Blade tried to say something, and realized that it had come out a wordless croak. He jerked his hand away from Baliza.

The Sky Master Blade's daughter. His own daughter? But-

«Your mother was-?» he managed to get out.

«Kareena, daughter of Peython. As I said, I wanted for nothing. But those who gave me everything else could not give me back my mother, and my father had returned to the sky, this we knew. So I know what it is to be alone. I will not be alone tonight, though. I–Voros, what is wrong?»

Blade was as close to being completely speechless as he'd ever been in his life. The narrowness of the margin by which he'd avoided committing incest with his own daughter did not make for a clear mind or a nimble tongue. Since he doubted he could say anything sensible, he said nothing.