Allison DuBois - Don't Kiss Them Good-bye

Although Sarge was a soldier, he was also a sensitive young man with a lot of questions about right and wrong. I haven’t shared his story so that others could sit in judgment of him; this isn’t about the war or the taking of a life. I have shared the story so that others might learn to forgive themselves for their own mistakes in life, realizing that when we die we carry over our regrets. Forgiveness is not always easy, but it is vital to our existence.

Sarge gave me his rank and his full name. My husband and I looked him up in the book of names at the monument and he was there. And in case you are wondering, his name was not common, like Smith or Jones. I will not disclose it, out of respect for his surviving family.

I think it’s important to share Sarge’s story with others who have lost family members, friends, and other important loved ones in war. I want people to know that when they talk to the spirits of loved ones or visit memorials of our veterans, those on the other side hear their words.

Also, many of the young men who went to war carry heavy burdens with them. What matters is that we remember that many soldiers have paid a high price for our free country and they did it with love for us. This was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had, and I am grateful I was able to share it with such an incredible spirit.

Many soldiers’ spirits remain at the monument. Most of them are not there out of guilt. In essence, they are there out of their own pride in dying for their country and, as they saw it, for their family’s security. The soldiers on the other side enjoy seeing people come to pay tribute to them, and they especially love seeing their surviving buddies come to the memorial. Some soldiers can’t believe that such monuments were erected just for them (they’re humble). I saw many spirits walking in the area of the Vietnam Memorial and strolling alongside the Reflecting Pool. They are all around us and continue to share moments with us all. I will never forget my encounter with Sarge on that hot day in May.

I had intended to have this chapter be limited to my experience with Sarge. However, I told Joe that somehow it didn’t seem finished, and that I would wait to see what event would complete it.

Six months after I first worked on this chapter, history was made when America was attacked on September 11, 2001. Nineteen Arab terrorists hijacked four commercial planes and wreaked havoc on our country. We all cried as we watched people desperately searching for their missing loved ones at Ground Zero in New York. These were no ordinary tears that we cried. We were a united front, crying for people we had never met before. The collective sadness and the extent of our loss was overwhelming.

I am not an overtly emotional woman. My best friend says I seem to be the emotional equivalent of a man, meaning I am uncomfortable crying and showing extreme emotion. I feel very deeply for people, but I keep my feelings inside.

I remember sitting on the edge of the couch, my eyes fixed on the TV, staring at the aftermath of the World Trade Center and the Pentagon disasters. I could not mentally digest that a group of terrorists had tried to kill our president along with thousands of others. When “The Star Spangled Banner” was played at the changing of the guards at Buckingham Palace, my heart swelled with pride. I also felt love for our friends in other countries who shared our sense of loss.

People often ask me whether all people have some good in them, deep down. My answer is no. I believe that all children have good inside them that only needs to be elicited. I realize that medical exceptions may exist, but I am talking about the majority.

But adults are different. Somewhere in between childhood and adulthood we can lose our sense of conscience if we’re not careful.

Osama bin Ladin truly scares me, because he’s a lunatic. I believe bin Ladin is someone we can’t even begin to reason with. He comes from a completely different place, one we can never truly understand. What a wonderful difference he could have made in this world if he had put all that money and effort into something positive.

I want to tell the families and friends who lost loved ones in this cowardly terrorist attack that the victims were not alone when they passed. Their family members on the other side were there when called, and they sheltered those who were about to join them. From the other side, the mothers, fathers, grandparents and others took those loved ones home quickly and lovingly. In some cases, intervention was possible. That is why some people were saved, such as those who were late to work that day due to traffic jams or other delays.

As I watched the towers fall, I had a vision. I saw a woman in a blazer and skirt; she was huddled on the ground next to a desk. She was scared and she was praying as the building crumbled around her. I started to feel anger that she had to die this way. In that moment I saw the strongest, kindest, golden-white light descend through the ceiling above her and as it lowered, settling over her, it took the shape of a hand. In that swift and loving gesture, the woman’s fear was removed and she knew that she was no longer alone.

There are psychics who wouldn’t write about such a thing because it touches on religion. I don’t care; the hand wasn’t wearing a religious symbol or preaching. The hand was that of a god whose only intention was to show some level of mercy. The hand of this higher power covered people, shielding some of them from certain death. The same hand swiftly carried over those that he needed to call home. We might not understand why certain people lived and others died, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t some sort of plan.

I know that I wasn’t the only person who wanted to jump into my television set and help New York’s police and firefighters sift through the rubble. That rubble contained our brothers and sisters. We are forever changed. The terrorists tried to defeat America and failed. They did succeed, however, in uniting the rest of us as never before.

God bless the brave people who wrestled the terrorists on flight 93 and saved countless lives. If I live to be a hundred, their actions will always move me to tears. I am in awe. Thank you to our pilots, flight attendants, passengers, firefighters, police officers, and all those who lost their lives that day. Thank you for gracing the world with your presence. We are humbled by your bravery and by the magnitude of what your were forced to endure. They are beyond words.

The attacks changed America in many ways. Some of them are blessings in disguise. For example, many people who have lost their jobs are asking themselves if they want to explore a different field that might be more spiritually fulfilling. I have family members who have been affected by the layoffs. It’s amazing to see people who were once climbing the white-collar ladder of success and are now considering firefighting because they want to fill the voids in their souls.

September 11 has made people ask what is really important in life and how they can make a difference. It has brought about much soul-searching. This is an opportunity for people to realize that they can change the course of their lives. It’s never too late. To me, the worst thing you can do with your life is squander it.

Children have so many dreams, and they find laughter and joy in so many ways. Sometimes adults get so bogged down in making their credit card payments that they forget there is more to life. Sometimes we forget that we can become whatever we want and our age shouldn’t be an issue.

Can you imagine if we didn’t have people willing to go out on a limb to create change in our world? If we didn’t have people who believe in joy? We wouldn’t have places like Disneyland. Talk shows exploring spirituality and personal happiness wouldn’t exist. My best advice for those looking for fulfillment? Strike out on your own, and be able to look back on your life and say, “I did that.” When a good idea pops into your head, don’t dismiss it. Dare to care about what matters to you, and be strong enough to stand your ground against naysayers.