Allison DuBois: Don't Kiss Them Good-bye

If your child approaches you, be open to talking freely about anything. This subject should only be approached if your child seems confused by a related matter or directly comes to you with premonitions or questions about the other side. We don’t want to confuse kids who don’t really have psychic abilities.

If you see such strong signs in your child that you can’t ignore them, try sharing a story about a family member who has the gift (I believe the sixth sense is most often genetic). Talk to your child about angels or about Grandpa in heaven. The child will be more comfortable opening up if you are personally extending yourself.

Don’t beat your child over the head with a two-hour discussion, especially if it seems to be a one-way talk. Slide the topic out there, see if your child reciprocates, and take it slowly. If your child is uninterested, drop it. When and if your child wants to talk, the discussion can resume.

If your child’s gift is causing fear, it’s important to address that carefully. I tell my guides to monitor the energy that comes around my kids and to keep out any negative or mischievous energy. Let your child know that she has the power to tell the energy to leave, if it’s not welcome. This technique is effective for anyone, big or small. It’s important for kids to know that spirits cannot harm them.

My oldest daughter occasionally comes to me and says that she feels crowded. By this I know she means that she is experiencing strong spirit activity and is feeling the people she sometimes can’t see. Fortunately, what Ariel can’t see I can, because I have more experience and know how to retrieve a visual of the spirit at will.

I tell her to ask the presence some basic questions, such as “Who are you?” and “What do you want?” If her discomfort continues after she receives an answer, I tell the spirit that it’s frightening her and it must go. I also tell my daughter that if she’s frightened she should envision herself draped in a beautiful powerful cloak of white light. She loves clothes, so I’ve incorporated her personality into this exercise so that it’s comforting and familiar to her. I tell her that the cloak of light will protect her from things that frighten her.

Ariel refers to her guides as her “angels” (the term she’s comfortable with). They watch over her and make her feel safe, which in turn makes me happy. A child’s security and feeling of comfort and safety are always a priority.

Another reason for my daughter’s discomfort would be that she is absorbing too much energy all at once. By this I mean that sensitive people (those who are extremely empathetic or feel other people’s energy around them) sometimes feel bombarded by too many energies at once. This type of thing can happen to anyone. Most people have had the experience of standing next to someone and for no apparent reason being repelled, not by the person’s appearance, but by a feeling that they get from him or her.

Just as often, people are drawn to others who seem to have an approachable energy or an energy similar to theirs. People have their own individual energies and, like personalities, these energies vary. What one person finds attractive, another person might find repellent. The more people are clustered around you, the more variations of energy you take in.

If you’re sensitive by nature, everything in life feels magnified. Picture one person who is arrogant and self-centered getting right in your face. Then add an annoying person who is giggly and mischievous; next, add a loud, heavy talker. Are you feeling uncomfortable yet? This can be what contact with others’ energy feels like for a medium.

If you have heightened senses, other human beings don’t even have to be in your face to feel as if they are. You must therefore establish boundaries for yourself and try to keep yourself in an atmosphere you find comfortable. Some people don’t mind having their personal space invaded. I find that these are usually the very same people who tend to invade the space of others.

Personally, I try to avoid crowded situations like concerts or busy shopping days. Too much sensory overload. I like smaller, quieter venues. My husband is an aerospace engineer. I find Joe’s company gatherings pleasant enough, because engineering generally draws pretty laid-back people. This I can handle. On the other hand, a high school football game is too much for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love young people. I am just too sensitive for a stadium full of electric, hormonal teenage energy.

When Ariel overloaded once at an amusement park, I found a quiet corner and sat down with her to calm her. We talked about how she was feeling and shared some valuable mother-daughter time. I really understood how she felt. Since we had been at the amusement park for a while, I suggested we go back to our hotel and unwind.

Ariel insisted that before we leave we visit a century-old house located in the park. She seemed excited about it, so I agreed. Ariel went to one side of the house and I went to the other. Ariel came tearing around the corner, smiling.

“Mom! Come over on this side of the house! It has the most activity!”

Ariel and I share a love of old houses. We enjoy seeing the spirits who inhabit buildings and sampling the time period from which they lived. To my family this is normal living; there’s never a dull moment. I am proud and honored to share in my children’s gifts and ease them through their journeys.

If you are trying to determine whether your child is a medium or has had contact with the other side, take note of some of the signs I looked for with my own kids. I know firsthand what terms I am likely to hear from another person with this gift, as well as what questions to expect from inexperienced or young mediums. After all, I’ve been there.

The criteria I use to determine a child’s abilities are as follows:

1. Does your child ever say a room feels crowded even when it’s not physically congested, or does your child seem easily flustered in certain surroundings?

Sensitive children may feel the presence of energy around them but may not be able to see any of it. Sometimes sight isn’t available to the medium, which can be confusing if they are hearing, feeling, or even smelling or tasting signs from the other side. This is especially common among young mediums whose skills aren’t well developed.

2. Does your child want to avoid being around a lot of people because the experience is overwhelming?

Just like adults, sensitive children absorb energy from all the people around them, and too much of it can overwhelm their systems.

3. Does your child tell you that he or she notices apparitions? Does he or she talk about “seeing things?”

If your child is able to give you personal details about a family member or close friend of yours who passed away before your child was born, that’s a compelling sign that she sees the other side. Of course, be sure to ask yourself whether this information is something you talk about around the child that could be simply overheard and repeated. You want to be certain that your child is sharing information he or she couldn’t possibly have learned any other way.

For example, when Ariel was two and a half she woke up in the middle of the night calling out to Joe and me. We went to her and asked what was wrong.

Ariel said, “A man was here and he said he is a jeeeneeeus.”

Joe perked up. “Did you say ‘genius’?”

I asked him who he thought had visited Ariel. Joe replied that his father had always referred to himself as a genius. Since Joe’s father had died three months before I met him, I knew very little of him. He was highly intellectual, with a chemical engineering degree from MIT, but his personal traits were more of a mystery to me. Ariel couldn’t have known what her granddad called himself. Joe was touched and amused by the message.