Саймон Морден - The White City

‘You did. You even stole Bell’s maps.’

‘It is unusual to find two castles little more than a day apart. I had previously enquired of the maps before I left her and, by taking them with me, ensured that she would not be able to find me.’

‘You rescued Mary from the Wolfman.’

‘It was my duty to do so. It was not my duty to tell her, or you, everything. Or anything.’ He spread his fingers wide. ‘Trust is hard to come by. Betrayal is everywhere. I do not trust you. You do not trust me.’

Dalip worried at his sparse beard. ‘What happened when you first stepped out of your portal?’

‘Most geomancers keep a careful watch over the portal closest to their castle. I arrived at an opportune moment, when the guards were distracted. To my mind, they did not look like the kind of people to show me mercy. I hid, almost in plain sight, and waited for nightfall. I bled into the ground from the cuts that still scar me, and I did not move. When their eyes were blinded by their night fire, I crept away, and while I was still close by, the portal opened again. I saw what happened, and was glad I trusted my instincts.’

‘Crows, just how many free people are there?’

‘A few. A very few. Listen: Down is not exactly paradise but, inshallah, it will not kill you.’ He ticked his tongue behind his teeth. ‘How this iniquitous rule of slavers and enslaved started, I do not know. But it strangles any chance of a righteous life here.’

‘You were taken eventually, though?’

‘By the Wolfman, and I was brought before Bell. I made myself useful. Then I made myself necessary. In the end, I made myself indispensable. All the while, I learnt my magic, and I scoured the maps for somewhere to go where I could escape my captors. Being a prisoner is not in my nature, though many become accustomed to it if they believe there is no alternative.’

Mary balled her fists. ‘Why the fuck didn’t you tell me any of this?’

‘Trust, Mary. I took advantage of you, yes. I sheltered you and fed you and taught you as well. I did not hold you against your will, neither did I require any service from you. I asked nothing of you but your map. You were free to go, even to your death. As exchanges go, ours was quite equal.’

She turned away and, after taking some half-dozen steps, wheeled back round. ‘You cold-hearted bastard.’

He bowed. ‘I can hardly deny it. But I am better than many, if not better than most.’

Mama huffed. ‘That doesn’t speak highly of you now, does it? Poor Mary, deceiving her so.’

‘She has survived my minor cruelties and has flourished.’ He glanced over to Mary. ‘Why did you not stay at the castle? It was yours. You had the land between there and the portal. The Wolfman would have served you as he served Bell.’

‘It burned down,’ said Luiza.

‘Castles grow again,’ countered Crows. ‘You would have been secure, and not have to wander the face of Down like this—’

‘Looking for somewhere that does not exist,’ she screamed in his face, ‘this White City is just a lie.’

Elena pulled at her cousin’s sleeve, and Luiza shook her off.

‘Everything you say is a lie.’

And with that, she launched herself at Crows, tumbling him to the sand and knocking Dalip aside, then pinning Crows’ spindly limbs with her own lean arms and smashing her forehead down into his face.

Crows twisted his head aside at the last moment, so that she connected with his cheek instead.

Dalip, on his back himself, struggled to his knees, and Mama, with all her maternal strength, picked Luiza off Crows as if she were no more than a piece of underground litter.

‘You calm down. This is dangerous. Dangerous for all of us.’ She carried Luiza a distance away before setting her down again.

‘Dangerous for him.’ She pressed her hand to her head, but made no effort to have another go at Crows.

‘No. Dangerous for you, especially. Down looks into your soul, and sees who you really are. Am I right, Crows?’

‘Truly, madam, you speak the truth.’ He checked that no one else was going to assault him, and got to his feet. He extended a hand to Dalip who, after a brief hesitation, accepted.

‘What does that mean? For us?’ he asked.

‘The good lady is wise. She knows we all have secrets from each other, even ourselves. But we cannot hide our true nature from Down.’

Dalip looked at the others, one by one. He knew them, in part, in the same way he’d known Stanislav. He realised what a mistake he’d made there, and wondered what mistakes he was making now.

‘Down is what? Alive somehow? Watching us?’

‘No,’ said Crows. He crouched down and scooped up a handful of beach, holding it in his fist. As he straightened back up, grains dribbled out between his fingers. ‘Down dreams of us. We sparkle in its mind like the sand.’

Dalip traced the trickle of powder as it fell and become one with the beach again.

‘Are we dead? Are we actually dead?’

‘Is this your fear?’ Crows’ eyes grew large. ‘That you did not escape? That you burned with your colleagues?’

There was a lump in Dalip’s throat, and he swallowed against it. He was all too aware that he was the centre of attention, and he didn’t like it one bit.

‘It,’ he said, summoning up the courage to name his terror, ‘just makes more sense than any other explanation.’

‘And yet you fight.’ Crows opened his fist and held his palm flat. ‘Here, look.’ He took a pinch of sand and proffered it.

Dalip held out his own hand and Crows rubbed the sand free of his fingertips.

‘This is you, and Mary, and Mama, and Luiza, and Elena. This is me and Bell and the Wolfman. This is all of us. Down cannot tell us apart. It does not favour the faithful and punish the wicked. It gives each of us what we want.’ He shrugged. ‘Imperfectly but generously. You know, Dalip Singh, that you are not dead. You know you experience pain and fear and joy. You know you are alive because you know death and you are not it. You know it here.’ Crows pressed his sandy hand against Dalip’s chest.

‘What if we don’t get what we want?’

‘Then you are mistaken about what it is you really want. Down sees through the lies you tell yourself, the masks you wear, the roles you play. Which is why your friend Mary is a glorious falcon, Bell a dragon, and I am—’

‘A snake.’

Crows shrugged again. ‘Mama is not wrong. Your angry friend Luiza needs to watch herself. And you need to watch her too, and help her understand that her anger is as likely to be rewarded as your courage.’

Mary absently brushed the sandy handprint from Dalip’s front. ‘But Dalip can’t…’

‘You do not tell the gift-giver what gifts to give,’ said Crows. ‘But if you follow me, you will see.’

He slipped out from the group encircling him, past a still furious Luiza, who he bowed low to◦– honestly or sarcastically, who could tell?◦– and walked back up the beach to the dunes.

‘He could just tell us,’ said Mama.

‘Perhaps he doesn’t think we’ll believe him.’ Dalip watched him shrink into the distance. ‘He’d be right about that.’

‘Come on,’ said Mary. ‘What else are we going to do?’

Dalip found himself next to Elena.

‘My cousin,’ she said, her voice so quiet that Dalip had to lean in, ‘is he saying she will change? Into a, a…’

‘Monster?’

Elena nodded, mute again.

‘I think he’s saying we’re all going to change, over time. But I’m sure nothing bad will happen to Luiza. It’s just that Crows makes us all angry, trying to pin him down, only to find out that when he says one thing, he means something else.’

‘She does get angry. She gets angry with me sometimes.’