Кристин Фихан - Dark Song

“Elisabeta.” He swept his hand gently down the long, thick braid of her hair. “Just the fact that you deliberately kept this part of you safe from the healer meant you not only remembered these compartments hidden from anyone looking, but you wanted them to remain hidden. I understand you hiding them from Gary and even the other ancients. But your lifemate? From me? What is your reasoning?” He kept all reprimand from his voice. He feared he already knew the answer.

She turned her head to look up at him over her shoulder, her dark eyes wide. There was overwhelming emotion in her eyes and his belly did a weird roll. His heart clenched hard in his chest. He was looking at love. Drowning in it. Swamped in it. He felt it surround him. She was both wonderful and terrifying to him. For a moment he was looking into her soul. She was so unbelievably compassionate she was beyond his comprehension. She’d been given to him. Somehow, the universe had entrusted her into his care.

Her long lashes fluttered. She turned her head to stare back at the laughing, joyful men and women, at the children celebrating a hard-won victory she’d been such a big part of.

“You didn’t want me to know.” He said it for her. “You pushed yourself as hard as you could until you were so uncomfortable you could barely take it, and you didn’t want me to know.”

Elisabeta ducked her head. You hurt inside, Ferro. When you think you are not shielding me enough, you hurt inside. When you do shield me, you compare yourself to the vampire. There is no winning for you. I do not like it .

“You cannot do that, piŋe sarnanak ,” he reprimanded.

I have every right to take care of you, Ferro. You are my lifemate .

There was surprising strength in her voice. He had done that. He had given her that strength and confidence. He sighed. “Woman, you make no sense. The things I am concerned about, such as whether or not I am holding you back when I should push you to stand on your own—like tonight, among all the Carpathians who have come to celebrate with us— you stay silent about. But this, when I am adamant, you oppose me.”

Not oppose, Ferro, she denied, her voice and mind soft. I will discuss that more with you, but tonight . . . I have given this much thought. Lorraine and Julija are both very powerful women in different ways. They express that power differently. Because they express it differently does not take away from either of them. The way I choose to express my power will not take away from what or who I am .

“That is true, sívamet . You are an extremely powerful Carpathian.”

I cannot be anything but who I am. My nature is not like either Julija’s or Lorraine’s, and although I admire both of them, I am fine with who I am, thanks to you. I will most likely be uncomfortable around many people and I accept that, again, thanks to you. The point I am making, Ferro, is crawling into your mind and hiding away is where I need to be sometimes. It is where I feel safest. You are not forcing me to go there. You are not holding me prisoner or keeping me dependent. I try to hold out because I think it is what you want for me and I even know it is good for me, but it is not always what I want .

He shook his head, dropping his hand to her neck, beginning a slow massage, not really for her, but because he had to do something. Anything. She was killing him. She tried to hold out as long as she could, waiting until she felt bruised and battered, and then hiding that from him in the little compartments in her mind so he wouldn’t feel bad.

“You are not going to do that anymore. We are making a new rule. You do not hide anything from me, even if you think it will upset me. Is that understood, piŋe sarnanak ?”

Yes, Ferro . She answered immediately, no hesitation, which meant she would obey him.

He bent his head to brush a kiss along her earlobe. “You will allow me access to all parts of your mind. Every hidden little cubicle.”

He felt her reluctance. How can I protect you?

He bit her earlobe in sheer frustration. I protect you .

Should it not go both ways?

There was genuine confusion in her voice and that touched his heart. It was impossible not to want to sweep her into his arms and carry her off where he could be alone with her.

“Yes, but not at the expense of your health. You are never to push yourself to the point of feeling bruised or battered or where you think you have to hide how it is affecting you from me. We need to be able to communicate, Elisabeta. I know that expressing your feelings is difficult at times for you, but it is necessary.”

She was silent for a few moments and then she capitulated. Then yes, Ferro, I agree. I will make certain you know where all the various walls I put up with the little cells on them are so you have access to any information I accidentally store there .

“Thank you, Elisabeta. Traian and Joie are making their way over to us. Are you good with that? I can get us out of here.”

He felt her straighten. Again, she tilted her head back and gave him a smile meant only for him. It was genuine, lighting her eyes. “I can talk to them for a few minutes.”

Her heart had begun to accelerate and he gently slid his hand down the length of her arm to her wrist, rubbing his thumb over her pounding pulse to remind her to match the steadier beat of his.

“Traian, Joie,” he greeted. “I see you both remember how to dance.”

“Barely,” Traian admitted. “It’s all Joie. She has to keep the steps in her mind and I just do what she tells me. She makes me look good.”

Joie burst out laughing. “That’s not true. He’s a really good dancer. Very smooth. Tariq is good, too. Did you see him with Charlotte?”

Ferro answered for them, sparing Elisabeta every chance he could, while she nodded and smiled, her fingers digging into his arm. “It was impossible not to notice. I think everyone watched them. I suppose that is why he owns a nightclub.”

Traian flashed a little smile at his sister. “Who would have thought, Elisabeta, that a Carpathian would own a nightclub someday? If they had told us that when we were children . . .”

“We would not have known what anyone was talking about,” she finished.

Traian and Joie burst out laughing.

Ferro tightened his arms around his lifemate. Just that small little effort was difficult for her, but he could feel her happiness. Elisabeta was glad she’d made the effort because her brother and Joie were extremely happy that she’d spoken to them, even joked with them.

“Several of the ancients went out to the forest by the lake hunting Cornel and Dorin, but they were long gone,” Ferro informed them, to take pressure off his woman. “They cleaned up the traps and put the forest, meadow and lake to rights again so any campers or hikers would not get caught. There were creatures beneath the ground that had to be burned out, and those venomous guardians in the trees were difficult to fully purge, but without guidance from their creators, the brethren were able to destroy them.”

Traian nodded. “Tariq feared it would be extremely difficult. He has said he wants that lair as well as the one beneath the city to be watched all the time. Josef is setting up remote cameras, but even that will not be enough. Tariq wants both lairs to be regularly patrolled.”

“Will you be taking Josef back with you when you return to the Carpathian Mountains?” Ferro asked.

“I have agreed to escort him once he has completely updated Tariq’s system and made certain there are no traces of the infection or any other virus the vampires might have planted.”

“You allowed him to kill the vampire with you. He used himself as bait and then the two of you worked together to dispatch the creature,” Ferro said. He kept his tone strictly neutral. “The boy has clearly had some experience, but do you think it is a good idea for him to be facing vampires when he does not have the physical strength required? He obviously has the mental strength. And he follows instructions.”