Robert Asprin - Tales From The Vulgar Unicorn

Smhee leaped towards the foremost one and jammed the burning red of his brand into the head. The stink of charred flesh assailed their nostrils. It ran backwards but was stopped by those behind it. Then they retreated, and the thing, its eyes burned out, began running around and around, finally disappearing into the darkness. The others were now just beyond the doorway in the other cave. Smhee threw his torch into it.

'That'll keep them from coming through!' he said, panting. 'I should have brought some extra torches, but even the greatest mind sometimes slips. Notice how the weight of those spiders didn't make the trapdoor drop? It must have a minimum limit. You only weigh eighty-five pounds. Maybe...?'

'Forget it,' she said.

' Right you are,', he said, grinning. 'But Masha, if you are to be a master thief, you must think of everything.'

She thought of reminding him about the extra torches he'd forgotten but decided not to. They went on ahead through an enormous cavern and came to a tunnel. From its dark mouth streamed a stink like a newly opened tomb. And they heard the cry that was half-grunt, half-squall.

Smhee halted. 'I hate to go into that tunnel. But we must. You look upward for holes in the ceiling, and I'll look everywhere else.'

The stone, however, looked solid. When they were halfway down the bore, they were blasted with a tremendous growling and roaring.

'Lions?' Masha said.

'No. Bears.'

12

At the opposite end were two gigantic animals, their eyes gleaming redly in the light, their fangs a dull white.

The two intruders advanced after waiting for the bears to charge. But these stayed by the doorway, though they did not cease their thunderous roaring nor their slashes at the air with their paws.

'The bears were making the strange cry,' she said. 'I've seen dancing bears in the bazaars, but I never heard them make a noise like that. Nor were they near as large.'

He said, 'They've got chains around their necks. Come on.'

When they were within a few feet of the beasts, they stopped. The stench was almost overpowering now, and they were deafened by the uproar in the narrowness of the tunnel.

Smhee told her to hold her torch steady. He opened his belt-bag and pulled out two lengths of bamboo pipe and joined them. Then, from a small wooden case, he cautiously extracted a feathered dart. He inserted it in one and raised the blowpipe almost to his lips.

'There's enough poison on the tip of the dart to kill a dozen men,' he said. 'However, I doubt that it would do much harm, if any, if the dart sticks in their thick fat. So...'

He waited a long time, the pipe now at his lips. Then, his cheeks swelled, and the dart shot out. The bear to the right, roaring even louder, grabbed at the missile stuck in its left eye. Smhee fitted another dart into the pipe and took a step closer. The monster on the left lunged against the restraining collar and chain. Smhee shot the second dart into its tongue.

The first beast struck fell to one side, its paws waving, and its roars subsided. The other took longer to become quiet, but presently both were snoring away.

'Let's hope they die,' Smhee said. 'I doubt we'll have time to shoot them again when we come back.'

Masha thought that a more immediate concern was that the roaring might have alarmed the mage's servants.

They went through a large cavern, the floor of which was littered with human, cattle, and goat skeletons and bear dung. They breathed through their mouths until they got to an exit. This was a doorway which led to a flight of steps. At the top of the steps was another entrance with a closed massive wooden door. Affixed to one side was a great wooden bar.

'Another hindrance to pursuers,' Smhee said. 'Which will, in our case, be the Raggah.'

After a careful inspection of the door, he gripped its handle and slowly opened it. Freshly oiled, it swung noiselessly. They went out into a very large room illuminated by six great torches at one end.. Here streams of water ran out from holes in the ceiling and down wooden troughs and onto many wooden wheels set between metal uprights.

Against the right-hand side of the far wall was another closed door as massive as the first. It, too, could be barred shut.

Unlike the bare walls of the other caves, these were painted with many strange symbols.

'There's magic here,' Smhee said. 'I smell it.'

He strode to the pool in which were set the wheels. The wheels went around and around impelled by the downpouring water. Masha counted aloud. Twelve.

'A magical number,' Smhee said.

They were set in rows of threes. At one end of the axle of each were attached some gears which in turn were fixed to a shaft that ran into a box under the wheel. Smhee reached out to the nearest wheel from the pool edge and stopped it. Then he released it and opened the lid of the box beneath the wheel. Masha looked past him into the interior of the box. She saw a bewildering array of tiny gears and shafts. The shafts were connected to more gears at the axle end of tiny wheels on uprights.

Smhee stopped the wheel again and spun it against the force of the waterfall. The mechanism inside started working backwards.

Smhee smiled. He closed the box and went to the door and barred it. He walked swiftly to the other side of the pool. There was a large box on the floor by it. He opened it and removed some metal pliers and wrenches.

'Help me get those wheels off their stands,' he said.

'Why?'

'I'll explain while we work.' He looked around. 'Kemren would have done better to have set human guards here. But I suppose he thought that no one would ever get this far. Or, if they did, they'd not have the slightest idea what the wheels are for.'

He told her what she was to do with the wheels, and they waded into the pool. The water only came to their ankles; a wide drain in the centre ensured against overflow.

Masha didn't like being drenched, but she was sure that it would be worthwhile.

'These boxes contain devices which convert the mechanical power of the water driven wheels to magical power,' he said. 'There are said to be some in the temple ofWeda Krizhtawn, but I was too lowly to be allowed near them. However, I heard the high priests talking about them. They sometimes got careless in the presence of us lowly ones. Anyway, we were bound by vows to keep silent.

'I don't know exactly what these particular wheels are for. But they must be providing energy for whatever magic he's using. Part of the energy, anyway.'

She didn't really understand what he was talking about, though she had an inkling. She worked steadily, ignoring the wetting and removed a wheel. Then she turned it around and reattached it.

The wheel bore symbols on each of the paddles set along its rims. There were also symbols painted on its side.

Each wheel seemed to have the same symbols but in a different sequence.

When their work was done, Smhee said, 'I don't know what their reversal will do. But I'll wager that it won't be for Kemren's good. We must hurry now. If he's sensitive to the inflow-outflow of his magic, .he'll know something's wrong.'

She thought that it would be better not to have aroused the mage. However, Smhee was the master; she, the apprentice.

Smhee started to turn away from the wheels but stopped.

'Look!'

His finger pointed at the wheels.

'Well?'

'Don't you see something strange?'

It was a moment before she saw what had made her uneasy without realizing why. No water was spilling from the paddles down to the pool. The water just seemed to disappear after striking them. She looked wonderingly from them to him. 'I see what you mean.'

He spread out his hands. 'I don't know what's happening. I'm not a mage or a sorcerer. But... that water has to be going some place.'