Scott Lynch - Red Seas Under Red Skies

De Ferra chuckled and clinked tumblers with him. Ezri, however, left her wine untouched on the table before her and stared down at her hands. Zamira resolved to make this quick; Ezri clearly needed to be alone with Jerome.

"It's like this, Ravelle," said Zamira. "I didn't know I'd be arguing for your plan until I found myself doing so." "So you're taking us—"

"Back to Tal Verrar. Yes." She poured herself another tumbler of wine and took a more conservative sip. "I" ve convinced the council not to panic if stories come down from the north concerning the mischief we're about to work." "Thank you, Captain. I—"

"Don't thank me with words, Ravelle." Zamira sipped her wine again and set the tumbler down. "Thank me by keeping your side of the bargain. Find a way to kill Maxilan Stragos." "Yes."

"Let me make something else clear." Zamira carefully turned Cosetta in her arms so that the little girl was looking out across the table, straight at Kosta. "Everyone aboard this ship will be risking their life to give you your chance at this scheme. Every single person." "I… I understand."

"If time passes, and we can't find a solution for what Stragos has done to you… well, your access to him can't last for ever. I'll do everything in my power to help you before it comes to that. But if there's no other alternative, if time runs out and the only way you can take him down is to sacrifice yourself — I won't expect to see you again, do you understand?"

"If it comes to that," said Kosta, "I'll drag him to the judgement of the gods with my bare hands. We'll go together." "Gods," said Cosetta. "Bare hands!"

"Piss!" shouted Kosta, hoisting his tumbler toward Cosetta, who nearly came apart at the joints with the resulting fit of giggles.

"Thank you, Ravelle, for this gift of a daughter who will now be up all night repeating that word—" "Sorry, Captain. So, when do we leave?"

"Half the crew goes ashore tonight, and the other half tomorrow. We'll be scraping them up in heaps the day after, those that want to stay with us. Hopefully we can be rid of our swag tomorrow. So… two days. Two and a half, maybe. Then we'll see how the Orchid flies." "Thanks, Captain."

"And that's all," Zamira said. "My children are up too late, and I intend to claim the privilege of snoring as loudly as I wish once you're all out of my cabin."

Kosta was the first to take the hint, draining his glass and leaping to his feet. De Ferra followed and was about to leave when Ezri spoke in a quiet voice: "Jerome. May I see you in my cabin? Just for a few minutes?"

"A few minutes?" De Ferra grinned. "Tsk, Ezri, when did you become such a pessimist?"

"Now," she said, wiping the smile from his face. Chagrined, he helped her to her feet.

A moment later, the door the her cabin clicked shut, leaving Zamira alone with her family in one of the quiet interludes that were so damnably rare. For a few brief moments every night, she could imagine that her ship was travelling neither to nor from danger, and she could imagine herself more mother than captain, alone with the ordinary concerns of her children-

"Mummy," said Paolo without any warning, "I want to learn how to fight with a sword."

Zamira couldn't help herself; she stared at him for several seconds, and then cracked up laughing. Ordinary? Gods, how could any child born to this life be anything resembling ordinary?

"Sword," hollered Cosetta, possible future King of the Seven Marrows. "Sword! Sword!"

"Ezri, I—"

He saw the slap coming but it never occurred to him for an instant to try to prevent the blow from landing. She put all of her muscle into it, which was saying something, and tears blurred Jean's vision. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Tell you—"

She was sobbing now, but her next punch landed on his right arm with undiminished force. "Ow," he said. "What? What?" " Why didn "tyou tell me?"

It was almost a shout; he spread his hands to catch her fists. A punch from her to the ribs or solar plexus and he'd feel it for hours.

"Ezri, please. Tell you what?" He knelt on the narrow floor of her compartment, kissing her fingertips while she tried to yank her hands back. At last he let her, and knelt before her, arms lowered.

"Ezri, if you need to hit me, then by the gods hit me. If that's what you need, I won't fight you for a second. Not ever. Just… tell me what you want."

She balled her fists and Jean braced himself for another swing, but she sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her tears were hot on his cheeks. "How could you not tell me?" she whispered. "Anything you want to know, I'll tell you now, just—" "The poison, Jean."

"Oh," he moaned, slumping sideways against the rear wall of the cabin. She slid with him. "Oh, shit." "You selfish bastard, how could you not—"

"Drakasha told the council of captains our story," Jean said numbly. "You were there to hear it." "From her, not you! How could you do that to me?" "Ezri, please, it's—"

"You are the only thing," she whispered through the iron grip of her embrace, "the only thing on this whole fucking ocean that's mine, Jean Tannen. I don't own this ship. Hell, I don't own this cabin. I don't have a buried fucking treasure. I have no family and no title, not any more. And then I finally got to take something in return—" "And it turns out I have… one significant flaw."

"We can do something," she said. "We can find someone. Physikers, alchemists—"

"Tried, Ezri. Alchemists and poisoners. We need the antidote from Stragos, or an actual sample of his poison from which to create one." "And didn't I deserve to know? What if you" d—"

"Dropped dead in here one night? Ezri, what if a Redeemer had put his sword through my skull, or the crew had just murdered me on the day we met?"

"That's not you," she said, "that's not how someone like you dies, I know, I just know—" "Ezri, you" ve seen every one of my scars, you know I'm not—" "This is different," she said. "This is something you can't just fight."

"Ezri, I am fighting it. I" ve been fighting it every single day since the Archon put the fucking thing in me. Leocanto and I count the days, do you understand? I would lay awake at night the first few weeks, and I was sure I could feel it, doing something in me—" He gulped, and felt his own tears pouring down his face. "Look, when I'm in here it doesn't exist, understand? When I'm with you I can't feel it. I don't care about it. This is… it's like a different world. How could I tell you? How could I ruin that?"

"I would kill him," she whispered. "Stragos. Gods, if he was here right now I'd cut his fucking throat—" "I'd help. Believe me—"

She released her arms from around his neck and they knelt there in the semi-darkness, staring at one another. "I love you, Jean," she whispered at last.

"I love you, Ezri." Saying it was like allowing some sudden release of pressure behind his heart; it felt like breathing in at last after ages spent underwater. "You're like no one else I" ve ever known." "I can't let you die," she said. "It's not you… you can't—"

"I can do what I damn well please," she said. "I can get you to Tal Verrar. I can buy you time to get what you need from Stragos. I can help you kick his arse."

"Ezri," said Jean, "Drakasha" s right. If I can't get what I need from him… taking Stragos down is more important—" "Don't say it."

"I'll do it," he said. "It only makes sense. Gods, I don't want to, but if I have no choice I'll trade myself for him."

"Damn you," she whispered, and faster than he could react she leapt to her feet, seized him by the front of his tunic and slammed him against the starboard bulkhead. "You will not! Not if we beat him, Jean Tannen. Not if we win." "But if I have no choice—"