Лайон Спрэг Де Камп Array - The Incomplete Enchanter

He sighed. «You see how things fall sort of perfection even for the greatest of us. But come in, good sirs, and seat yourselves in my cabinet. Only ’ware the cockatrice as you go down this passage.»

«A cockatrice?» said Shea.

«Aye. A rare, priceless idea of Busyrane’s. All masters of the Chapter are supplied with them. They are just outside our inner cabinets and under an enchantment, so they may not look on any member of the Chapter — or his friends. But should any of Gloriana’s people essay to enter, the cockatrice looks on them and they turn to stone.»

* * *

Dolon threw open a door and led the way down a dimly lighted passage. Behind bars at one side the beast stalked to and fro with a clatter of its scaly tail. It turned its head this way and that. The stench made Shea want to vomit. Over his shoulder he saw Chalmers’ lips moving. He hoped it was with a protective counterspell, not prayer. Dolon’s voice floated back: «— had to get them after Cambina, one of those ‘white magic’ practitioners, got into Mallamy’s cabinet and drowned him in a pool of alkahest. Thank Lucifer, she married that oaf, Sir Cambell, and marriage cost her some of her powers —»

The door banged behind them. Shea gasped for air as though he had swum up from the bottom of the ocean.

The table was ready and the food — thank Heaven, thought Shea — not too highly spiced. Whittling at a steak, he asked:

«What’s this meat? It’s good!»

«Fried Losel,» said the magician calmly.

Shea saw Chalmers halt a mouthful in midair. He felt himself gag momentarily; it was, after all, on the borderline of cannibalism, and after the cockatrice — He forced himself to go on eating. Squeamishness right now was a luxury.

Dolon poured out some wine, sat back and, rather to the travellers’ astonishment, produced and lit a clay pipe.

«Aye,» he pronounced, «competition is the curse of our business. One playing against another, and those curst companions of Gloriana making sad work of us all — that’s how matters stood till Busyrane organized our Chapter. Why, I mind me, I had a very good thing once, very good. Found a man of property who wanted a love philter. I made it for him, and he refused to pay. As he was more ass than human, I promised him his ears should grow an inch a day, with the price doubled for each inch they grew till he got me to take the spell off.» Dolon laughed and puffed. «I told you I was a good deal of a humorist.»

«Well, what does he do but go to Malingo, who gives him a counterspelt at half price! No more of that now.»

Shea had a question: «Look here! If you magicians all cooperate so well, what went wrong at Satyrane’s tournament? That girdle wouldn’t stay on the false Florimel, or on Duessa either for that matter. I should’ve thought Busyrane would see to that.»

Dolon chuckled. «Briskly questioned, springald! The trick with the girdle was doubtless Duessa’s doing. It’s in her style. She tried to remove the enchantment already on it, but when she found she couldn’t do that, clapped another atop, so ’twould fit nobody. But Florimel’s case was an error, I fear me much.» He shook his head. «Especially if in good sooth Busyrane has sent for her. Nothing would gall those high knights and ladies of the court half so much as having one of their queens of beauty, approved chaste by the test of the girdle, to live with an enchanter. But now, alack, there’s a doubt.»

Shea saw Chalmers start and run his tongue around his lips at the mention of the connection between Busyrane and Florimel. He pressed questions about the Chapter to give Chalmers a chance to recover. But now Dolon shut up like a clam, with suspicious glances. Shea had uneasy memories of the cockatrice and the spy in the outer room.

The magician finally rose. «’Tis time we retired, eh, magical sirs? ’Twere wise to set out for Busyrane’s tomorrow. If we arrive ere the meeting be called, I’m sure that my connections and the skill in intrigue for which I’m known will enable me to secure your election.»

* * *

A whisper: «Hey, Doc, you asleep?»

Another: «Merciful Heavens, no. Not in this place. Is he?»

«If he isn’t, that’s a damned good magical snore. Say, can’t we do something about that poor guy he made into a statue?»

«It would be injudicious to attempt it, Harold. Moreover, I’m not certain I know how. It would jeopardize our whole plan of campaign.»

«Didn’t know we had one. Are we stringing along with him?»

«I suppose we must if we really intend to help Queen Gloriana and the Companions. I may also mention Florimel. Dolon remarked that she was made of snow — created. I find it difficult to credit and rather awful. I fear we must join this Chapter and. uh. bore from within, as if it were.»

«I suppose,» said Shea thoughtfully, «that the Chapter explains why the Land of Faerie is sort of running down.»

«Yes. The enchanters had just discovered the —»

«Say, Doc,» Shea’s whisper was almost loud. «If the Chapter was formed a year ago, Faerie Queene time, and it had already been started when Spenser wrote, which was four centuries ago, Earth time — Faerie time must be much slower than ours. If we go back, we’ll land somewhere in the twenty-fifth century — along with Buck Rogers.»

« If we go back. And also if the curvature of the spacetime vectors is uniform. There might be sine curves in the vectors, you know.»

«Never thought of it. Say, how come your dragon spell was so extremely successful?»

Chalmers permitted himself an under-the-breath chuckle. «A property of the mathematics of magic. Since it’s based on the calculus of classes, it is primarily qualitative, not quantitative. Hence the quantitative effects are indeterminate. You can’t — at least, with my present skill I can’t — locate the decimal point. Here the decimal point was too far rightward, and I got a hundred dragons instead of one. It might have been a thousand.»

Shea lay still a moment digesting that thought. Then: «Can’t you do something about that?»

«I don’t know. Apparently the professionals learn by experience just how much force to put into their incantations. It’s an art rather than a science. If I could solve the quantitative problem I could put magic on a scientific basis. I wish, Harold, that tomorrow you could. uh. manage to distract Dolon for long enough to allow me to possess myself of one of his testbooks. His place is such a hurrah’s nest that he’s certain not to miss it.»

* * *

The three riders — Dolon had conjured up a horse because, he said, taking the form of one for a long journey would be fatiguing — had been going for miles through Loselwood. They saw deer, but no other living creatures. Conversation was scarce till they came out on a road, once wide and well graded, now much overgrown. Shea reasoned that this was one more sign of how the enchanters were getting the best of the Faerie knights.

He pushed his mount alongside the magician. «With your superlative powers, Dolon, I wonder they didn’t elect you head of the Chapter instead of Busyrane.»

Dolon shrugged. «I could have had the post at good cheap, ho-ho! But I would not strive and moil for it. I’m really a very good judge of human nature, so I arranged Busyrane’s election, knowing he would do it well.»

«You must be just about perfect,» said Shea.

«‘Just about’, my ’prentice friend, is a weak phrase. I am perfect. I’ve no doubt that people in ages to come will date the history of true wizardry from my entry into the field.»

«Modest, too,» remarked Shea, drawing a quick glare from Chalmers.

Dolon dropped his eyes. «Too modest, I sometimes think. Yet do I guard against such affectation — hola! Here’s an encounter!» An armoured horseman had appeared at the far end of the defile through which they were riding. His lance came down and he trotted towards them.