Лайон Спрэг Де Камп Array - The Incomplete Enchanter

A second draconian head was pushed through the smoke. This one was squirted out in a few seconds. It looked at the three men, then wandered over to a clump of bright-coloured flowers, sniffed, and began to eat them. Now a third and a fourth head were already in sight. As fast as the dragons were extruded, more followed them. The field down to the very confines of the trees was crowded with them, new arrivals butting the others to make room or scratching their sides on trees. Shea was counting: «Thirty-three, thirty-four — We better untie the animals and move or we’ll get stepped on. Thirty-six, thirty-seven —»

«Dear me,» remarked Chalmers, fingering his chin, as they backed among the trees. «I rather feared this. The same thing happened with the mice.»

«Fifty-two, fifty-three —» Shea continued. «My God, the country will be overrun with them!»

Dragons had overflowed the field and were lurching through the trees with their ungainly gait, munching everything green in sight, and mooing at each other with the same plaintive beeping sound. «Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, one hundred. Oh, boy!»

The fire suddenly died, and the cascade of vegetarian dragons ceased. «My God!» said Shea in an awe-struck voice. «One hundred reptilian Ferdinands!»

Dolon’s voice was that of a man shaken to the core. «Forsooth, you do things not by halves. Though I mind me I once succeeded with a bushel measure full of pearls.» Dolon snapped his fingers. «By Ahriman’s toe nails, are you not those who even now bested the Blatant Beast?»

«That’s us,» said Shea. «How did you hear about it?»

«The Beast passed me a few hours ago, and warned me of a prow company. He said he demanded a trifle of poesy, as is his custom, and you gave him a lay full of such — ah — spice that even he durst not repeat it for shame. The like had never before happened to him, and he seemed much downcast thereby. But was there not another of you? The Beast mentioned three.»

Chalmers cleared his throat, but Shea quickly answered: «No; he’s got us mixed up with another bunch.»

«’Tis a thing conceivable; the Beast is in sooth of the lower orders, and cannot count beyond two.» Dolon shook a finger and said with a slight leer: «Now about these dragons: Tell me, fellow magicians, was’t not by error you got eaters of grass? Eh? No secrets in the trade!»

«Ahem. No use taking unnecessary risks,» said Chalmers, still looking a trifle wall-eyed.

«Doubtless,» remarked Dolon with a glance that Shea just barely saw, «you can exorcise them as rapidly.»

«We could,» said Shea, before his companion had a chance to answer. «For the dragon-disappearing spell, though, we need an aneroid comptometer, and we lost ours. Do you have one with you?»

«An. ah, certes, an ameroid combompeter. Nay, I fear me not so. Last spring came a black frost that killed all the plants on which ameroid combompeters grow.» He spread his hands regretfully. «However, meseems these dragons will in the long run be a benefit, making rare good sport and food for our friends and servants, the Losels. And now, Sir Magicians whom I have not seen, explain your purpose in Loselwood.»

Chalmers spoke. «Uh. we’re looking for a lady named Florimel, and were advised we might find her here. Do you know the young person?»

Dolon chuckled. «The real Florimel or the false?»

«The real or — The one who was at Satyrane’s tournament recently.»

«That would be the false one, made by the Witch of Riphira. A fair piece of work — though I will say I care nor much for these witches. Duessa is the only one who has any standing in the Chapter — And that brings me to remark, magical sirs, are you members of one of the outland Chapters? My memory is practically infallible, and I do not recall having seen you at our meetings.»

Chalmers stammered: «We. uh. that is. can you tell me a little more about this Florimel? The. uh. false one.»

Dolon waved his hand. «A mere witch’s thing — a creature made of snow, or no special value. You must let me show you the really fine chess player I made sometime, or the imps I conjured up to handle my torture work. Really an achievement. Busyrane, our archmagician, doubtless called this false Florimel in for inspection.» He accented the last word and snickered. «But you haven’t answered my question, magical sirs.»

Shea spoke up boldly. «The point is, we’d like to join up with you.»

«You mean you have been working independently and we know it not?» Dolon narrowed his eyes suspiciously. «Aye; Busyrane opened the Chapter but a twelvemonth ago and you may well have slipped his attention. I trust you have not refused his invitation. Our archimage is not soft or slow with unlicensed magicians He has a spell that turns ’em into spiders. Witty, is he not, eh?»

«Good gracious!» said Chalmers. «But how does one acquire a licence?»

«That falls somewhat upon the applicant. Our charter calls for a round twenty-one master magicians, the magic number. Naturally, you behold in me one of the leading masters, whether by ability or seniority. There is also a class of journeymen, who handle the ordinary work, and one of apprentices. Perhaps you have talent enough to be elected to mastership. There are three or four places unfilled, I believe. The next meeting comes in five days, and with my backing your election would be certain.»

Dolon, in the form of a handsome stallion, trotted in front. Shea leaned back in his saddle, and, watching the stallion’s ears carefully, murmured: «Doing all right, aren’t we, Doc?»

«I suppose so, but I admit to being somewhat apprehensive as to what will happen if both the Companions and the Chapter of Magicians learn we’ve been cooperating with the other party. This. ah. playing both ends against the middle may get us in trouble.»

«Maybe,» said Shea. They rode on in silence.

Once a tiger glided out from between the trunks ahead. Gustavus and Adolphus, both rapidly approaching nervous breakdowns, tried to bolt from the trail. Dolon turned himself from a stallion into an immense buffalo. The tiger slunk off, snarling.

The sun was already low when the trail made a right-angled bend and dipped under a bank. A huge oak door was set into the earth. Dolon, again in his natural form, waved a hand, and the door flew open. «Fear not for the safety of your mounts,» he said. «An invisible wall, which none may penenate without my warrant, surrounds this place.»

Shea, dismounting, said: «That ought to be nice for keeping the mosquitoes out.»

Dolon laughed dutifully, then shook his head. «Ah, good ’prentice, how true! Is it not sad that a man of genius must concern himself with petty moils and worries?»

The air was stuffy inside. The first thing Shea saw was a huge pile of dirty dishes. Dolon was evidently not the neat type of bachelor. Beyond was an object that made his scalp prickle. It was the life-sized nude statue of a young man, stiff, at one side of the room, emitting a faint bluish glow. It held aloft a torch, which Dolon set alight.

The enchanter noticed Shea’s glance of inquiry. «A former ’prentice of mine,» he remarked. «I found he was a spy from Queen Gloriana’s court, where a few of those high-born grandees practise a kind of magic they call ‘white’. So there he stands, with all his sensations alive and the rest of him dead. Eh, Roger?» He pinched the statue playfully and laughed. «I’m really the best humorist in the Chapter when I’m in the mood. Let me show you my collection of Mallamies.»

«What’s a Mallamy?» inquired Chalmers.

Dolon looked at him hard, then decided it was a kind of joke and laughed. He began taking bottles off a shelf and holding them up to the light. Each contained a human figure about an inch tall. «Homunculi from the hand of great master, Mallamy himself,» he explained. «He specialized in this art, and none other has been able to shrink folk to so small size. Even I, Dolon, cannot equal his art. This is the finest collection of his figures in existence. It wants only a blond Saracen. Busyrane has one, but he will not yield it, though I have offered him a water fay, which his own collection tacks. He insists that water fays arc not permanent, since any accident will bring water in contact with the bottle and they can work a spell of their own and so escape.»