Elizabeth Kerner: Song in the Silence

I swore. Jamie just grinned.

"But I've waited years to get away!"

"True enough, but you've never been above a day's ride from there your life long. What more natural than you should look for your home?" He stared off into the distance, frowning. "That's the other side of the wandering life, Lanen, that you'd never learn by dreaming about it. This bout will pass quickly enough, you're just fresh away from the place. But if you take to it the way you say you wish to, I'll tell you now there's more to come."

"What more?" I asked, curious. Jamie had always been resolutely silent about his life before he came to us, and I had always wondered. This sounded promising.

"Ah, Lanen!" He sighed deeply with old memories. "I wandered the world from the time I was seventeen, fifteen years ere I came to Hadronsstead. It might be well enough to wander if you've a place and people to come back to, but I tell you now there's no desolation like wanting to go home and truly not knowing where it is."

I had never heard Jamie so bitter. His voice had grown rougher; if I hadn't known better I’d have thought him near tears.

"Is it really so terrible?" I asked quietly.

He looked over at me and smiled. "Not for you, lass. No, we all long to change to the other way if we get the chance or think we do. I wouldn't leave Hadronsstead for the world now, but you've known nothing else. You go on a wandering, my girl. There's a wondrous lot to see out there," he said, nodding east ahead of us. "Including that storm, which won't wait for us to find it."

I saw nothing but a thin dark line out on the plain.

"We'd best get moving, we'll need shelter."

"Jamie, it's a good hour away at least."

"Not out here it isn't. Now move!"

W e found nothing better than a small wood to take coyer in before it hit. I had never seen a storm move so fast. It was a typical autumn storm otherwise, a windy blast of drenching rain followed by a cold drizzle that was better and worse by turns, but never stopped completely .

After the downpour was over we moved on through the cold rain. Jamie knew of an Inn we might stop at, but it meant a far longer days ride than we had planned. It was miserable on the road, but anything was better than trying to camp in that muck. We rode for hours in the dark and were soaked through completely when we arrived, just before midnight. By then Jamie and I had ridden some way ahead of the hands and the horses, to make arrangements for men and beasts.

I had only ever been to the village inn near Hadronsstead, and that had been much earlier in the evening. I had expected that all inns would thus be well lit and cheery. This was the first time we had so much as travelled after sunset, and I thought it easily the most dismal place I had ever seen. All was dark save for a tired red gleam of firelight under the front door. Such of the cobbled yard as I could see by cloud-covered moonlight was thickly tufted with grass, the sign of a slovenly keeper. I told Jamie as muèh.

"Would you rather ride all night in this damn drizzle and catch your death, then?" he grumped at me. He hated rain. "Besides, we should rest the horses. It may look a bit threadbare but ifs not such a bad place. Just quiet." He slid stiffly off his horse and tried the door. It was locked, only sense in these parts after midnight to my mind. But Jamie was in no mood to wait. He pounded on the door, raising loud, startling echoes in the courtyard. "Ho, innkeeper!" he yelled. "There's travellers and horse.s here, enough to make your fortune in stabling fees."

There was no response. Jamie tried again, knocking and shouting. "Ho, within there! Open the door, ifs raining like all Seven Hells out here!"

The door was jerked open suddenly by a man who made me feel tiny. He was well taller than I and made three of me sideways. "Come in then and stop your damned shouting," he rumbled. .

Jamie seemed as startled as I, though he recovered quickly.

"Your pardon, Master, but we've been riding all day in this muck. We've seventeen horses to stable, the others are corning behind. Have you room for us all?"

"How many of you?" the giant asked, warily.

"Us two and three more with the horses, maybe a quarter hour behind."

"The stable's that way," grunted the giant, pointing to the run-down building across the courtyard. He disappeared back within doors, leaving us to make our own way.

We left our two horses standing in the yard and groped our way inside the stable. The door was not latched.

Jamie dug out a candle stub from his pack and managed to light it with flint and tinder. Carrying it before him, he found an oil lamp hanging from the wall and lit it.

The stable was in a terrible state; the reek of ancient manure rose from the stalls, old straw lay rotting everywhere, rusted bits and broken tack lay abandoned in odd corners.

I was furious. I may not have the touch, but I grew up with horses. This was appalling.

"A bit threadbare? Jamie, have you lost your—?"

"Quiet!" he hissed. "Keep your voice down or we're lost. I’ve never seen that man before, the old owner' s died or worse. Get out your dagger."

I drew steel for the first time in self-defense. I was frightened, excited and sick to my stomach.

"We_must get away from here, Lanen. You stand behind the door and—"

"I wouldn't do that, Lanen," said a deep rumble from the door. "Unless you're tired of the old man here." The candlelight caught the dull gleam of rusting steel as the giant innkeeper entered, preceded bya long wicked-looking knife. I hoped that all the dark red on the blade was rust. .

"Just you put that little pigsticker on the ground, lad," he said to me, keeping bis eyes and his knife on Jamie. I hesitated, looking to Jamie.

"Do as he says, lad," Jamie said, putting a slight stress on the "lad." I obeyed but in a kind of shock. Not at the ruffian.. At Jamie. His voice was the voice of a stranger, cold and hard and merciless.

"Good," rumbled the giant. He had not noticed the change in Jamie's voice, or had 'dismissed it as fear. "Now, throw down your purses. Business has been slow," he laughed. "Time this place made me a profit. Seventeen horses should keep me through till spring."

Jamie started moving slowly away from the door—directly away from me—and the giant followed mm. "No, I don't think so," said Jamie in that wintry voice.

The instant the giant’s back was turned to me I retrieved my dagger, slipping a little as I fetched it. I might as well have shouted.

"Drop it, I said!" cried the giant, whirling towards me. I drew back my hand and threw.

The dagger bounced off his hardened leather jerkin.

"Damn it!" I yelled without thinking, my voice high-pitched with anger.

"You're no bad!" he grunted, an evil grin breaking on his face. "I’ve all the luck tonight, you'll make a tasty change aftaaaahh..."

He slumped to the ground, blood streaming from his mouth Jamie stabbed him once more through the back, twisting the blade, making certain.

I ran out of the stable and was violently sick.

I tried not to hear when Jamie dragged the body behind the barn. Suddenly he was beside me. "Come on, we're leaving. Bring the horses round to the road. Now."

He handed me my dagger and went up to the door of the inn, sword in hand. I walked my mare Shadow and Jamie's Blaze out to the road, slowly, calming them as best I could in my state. At least the rain had stopped.

Jamie soon emerged, carrying a largish sack.

I wondered if there was still blood on his hands.

"Lanen," he said quietly. His voice was as it always used to be, low and kind, the voice I loved more than any other in all the world. "All’s well, he was alone. I found some decent food and a little silver. It’ll be handy when we come to the next town."